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Old 10-04-2012, 09:39 AM   #71
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When in the Air Force I had a pilot write up a weapons system problem as follows " The RADAR will not work with the O.N. - O.F.F. switch in the O.F.F. position." In the pilots defense we did have a lot of controls with abbreviations on them but still.....
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Old 10-04-2012, 10:27 AM   #72
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Originally Posted by Alan_Hepburn View Post
We're in a gas station, with the hose plugged in to our smart car, and we often get the question "Is that thing electric?"...

For smart responses whenever wifey says to me "You know what I meant!" I invariably reply "Sorry, no - I know what you SAID!"

And then the fight starts

We also have a smart car which we tow on a trailer behind our rig. We get many more questions about it than we do our Prius which has an electric mode of operation from the battery. No it does not require plugging in either. I'll just answer before asked.
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Old 10-04-2012, 10:37 AM   #73
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It is important when the smoke escapes to send it back to China so it can be repacked with smoke.

Simple electronics.
But, at what cost for shipping? And have you bought any magic smoke lately? Geeez Louise! I know labor costs are low over there, but they are sure proud of their magic smoke. I usually just buy a new thingy.
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Old 10-04-2012, 11:29 AM   #74
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In my working life, one of the hats I wore included being responsible for a technical support call center... when such things existed in this country.

Some of the questions the agents got were out of this world.

Rick
Such as "I can't find the 'ANY' key and the instructions say 'press any key' to begin"
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Old 10-04-2012, 12:38 PM   #75
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I get ask this all the time, IN fact it's in the other tab I have open just now,, but it was even "Better" when I was a working stiff being as I was a police dispatcher.

Generically stated: "How do I break the law and get away with it?"

Answer: You don't.
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Old 10-09-2012, 03:52 PM   #76
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When I state my last name and the other party says "can you spell that", I say yes my parents taught me...
When people ask me that question I feign an expression of concentration then say "well, I'll try".
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Old 10-09-2012, 03:57 PM   #77
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I get asked often, 'How are you today', and I almost always answer, 'I am fantastic, but I will get better'. The look on some peoples faces is priceless.

Reg
My standard come back to that question is "I'm still vertical".
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Old 10-09-2012, 04:09 PM   #78
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... or any day above ground is a good one.
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Old 10-09-2012, 04:22 PM   #79
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As a teacher I get some good ones. One particularly memorable occasion early in my career, I noticed a student turn over two pages in his exercise book before continuing writing. Intrigued, I picked up his book and noticed every third of fourth page had been left blank. When I inquired as to why, he replied that this way his book would last longer. Seeing my quizzical look, he explained "When I get to the end of the book, I will have all of these pages to go back go". That was bad enough but a few other members of the class thought it was a good idea!
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Old 10-09-2012, 04:51 PM   #80
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7 years ago my dog and I hiked the Oregon portion of the Pacific Crest Trail, and then the next year hiked 500 miles from the CA-OR border to Lake Tahoe. My dog carried about 25 pounds, 15 of which was medical gear for me. If I passed out he was to nag me until I got what I needed out of his pack. He had "Service Dog" patches on his pack along with "Medical Supplies".

People insisted on asking me what he did, what did I have, what were the supplies. Over and over and over. In restaurants, everywhere. I got tired of it.

On the train back home a woman asked me for the umpteenth time. I tried to dodge it, saying it was really private and I didn't want to talk about it.

"No, really, what does he do?"

I'd fantasized about this on the trail, many times, didn't think I"d do it. And I did.

"Well, I have a terrible temper when I'm asked stupid questions. I can get violent. So, the Judge said I had to have this dog with me at all times. If I start to lose my temper, raise my voice, or yell he's trained to attack me. He generally sinks his teeth into one of my legs and just chews and chews and chews while the person I'm mad at gets away. Do you want to see the scars?" I reached for my belt.

She stared at me for maybe 15 seconds, then silently got up and left the area. I was on that train another 10 hours and didn't see her.

After she left I started laughing, and the other people in the area, who were studiously occupied elsewhere, seemed quite relieved.

A high point in my life, I think.
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Old 10-09-2012, 05:45 PM   #81
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch Hoagland
I owned a computer store and a lady called me one day and said:

"Arch, there is smoke coming out of my computer. Do you think I should turn it off."
Same here. Lady calls one day from one of my clients wanting to know what to do - the laser printer had smoke coming out of it.
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Old 10-09-2012, 05:51 PM   #82
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Hey Bowser I'll have to remember that one. My dog Jin's a servce dog as well. Plainly marked Service Dog. All to often people ask what service he is in? My reply, "Air Force".

IN the daily life of a disabled person with a service dog you get asked a lot of stupid and very personal questions. How we react depends on a lot of things, especially on how we feel. Well practiced retorts are always good to have for when people really get obnoxious like the woman in the supermarket who would not leave me alone. She kept asking about my disability, how it affected me and more. I finally got so angry I simply turned to her and asked quite plainly and in a loud voice, "...and tell me dear, did you ever get that orgasm thing worked out." Thought she was going to explode.
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Old 10-09-2012, 06:06 PM   #83
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Back in the day when I was a more, shall we say "rotunde" girl, I had some bozo ask me when the baby was due....For fear of shocking all you boys out there I can't repeat what I answered...


I can say i put my foot in my mouth once to a lady about pregnancy

i had just arrived in to my new command as the "one where the buck stops" so my #1 and #2 guys were taking me around to meet all of our instructors and see the setup.
#1 told me, the person approaching me, WAS pregnant... mind you my simple brain interpreted the "was" to mean NOW as in still with child (and her stature presented a person with a child in their tummy). So like the insensitive person I was known for, i asked how she set once she delivered the baby and was her leave papers all set, because she was a single parent and we had rules in the navy to help her out.

she looked at me with a stare that burned a hole in my head....and said I had the baby 2 months ago.
I was speechless
but later I had a good laugh at my #1s expense
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Old 10-10-2012, 12:01 AM   #84
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With all the stupid things people say, how come this thread is so short?
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