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Old 10-10-2012, 02:40 AM   #85
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Hey Bowser I'll have to remember that one. My dog Jin's a servce dog as well. Plainly marked Service Dog. All to often people ask what service he is in? My reply, "Air Force".
Tell them you were in Airborne training but had to drop out because jumping
out of the airplane scared the dog.....

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Old 10-10-2012, 11:27 AM   #86
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As a teacher I get some good ones. One particularly memorable occasion early in my career, I noticed a student turn over two pages in his exercise book before continuing writing. Intrigued, I picked up his book and noticed every third of fourth page had been left blank. When I inquired as to why, he replied that this way his book would last longer. Seeing my quizzical look, he explained "When I get to the end of the book, I will have all of these pages to go back go". That was bad enough but a few other members of the class thought it was a good idea!
This reminds me of the best description of daylight saving time I ever heard. It's like having a too short blanket and your feet get cold, so you cut 12 inches off the top and sew it to the bottom.
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Old 10-10-2012, 02:21 PM   #87
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I've got more. And since tourists make up most of these I actually have a list of some of the dumbest questions I've ever heard.

As a guide taking pictures of people next to a sign that says, "Danger Rattlesnake Habitat" the guys who asks "are there any snakes here?"

Point here I am left handed, it relates.

As a tribal-ranger dressed for patrol i.e. service belt with handcuffs, taser, spray aned an obvious large caliber automatic and associated cop gear. "Do you carry a gun." Automatic answer. "No!" Let them figure it out. Thing is whether dressed as a T-ranger, guide or just out hiking people always ask if I'm carrying a gun. As a rule when out hiking I don't. Who needs the extra weight?

Regardless it seems that whenever I'm on a trail not dressed for work people always pick me to ask questions, Snakes, whee are all the birds, and on and on and on. As a solution a friend said I needed a make make over. So he got me a Tinkerbell T-shirt, new hiking shoes instead of boots and shorts instead of long pants and a very strange hat. People still stopped me and asked questions.

Now I'm disabled. I still hike with my dog and despite needing mobility assistance from Jin people still stop and asked me stupid questions, "Hey, Can you tell me how far this trail goes?" "Yes sir I can, it goes to the end. Just keep walking."


I have a question. Without looking for an answer is this a dangerous snake or not?

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Old 10-10-2012, 02:25 PM   #88
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While changing a flat tire once a fellow asked I had a flat.....Duh...he was blond.

ken
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Old 10-10-2012, 02:45 PM   #89
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While changing a flat tire once a fellow asked I had a flat.....Duh...he was blond.

ken

Did you point out that is was only flat on the bottom ?
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Old 10-10-2012, 06:40 PM   #90
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I have a question. Without looking for an answer is this a dangerous snake or not?

If it's dead.......No.

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Old 10-10-2012, 08:23 PM   #91
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The absolute dumbest I've personally been asked is:
Doesn't she look beautiful?
An aunt speaking of another deceased aunt at the wake....
I looked at her and walked away.
I thought she looked better about a year earlier.
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Old 10-11-2012, 04:35 AM   #92
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My snake policy -- you go your way, I'll back away slowly. This is your place, not mine.

The pictured snake looks to be a very well fed rattlesnake, not coiled to strike. So I would think less dangerous than a hungry or unhappy rattler. My policy still applies to all snakes, even a pencil thin garden snake and well fed ones.
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Old 10-11-2012, 06:55 AM   #93
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Did you point out that is was only flat on the bottom ?

Nope, the answer was...I just like to practice by letting the air out and changing the tire.

Ken
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Old 10-11-2012, 09:14 AM   #94
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It's a sidewinder. About 24" long and it is well fed. Some advice about snakes. They do not chase people.
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Old 10-11-2012, 09:32 AM   #95
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Dumbest question I have ever heard is one i ask here on irv2.

The kindly answer "it sounds like you have your cruise control on"

I still have the bruise on my forehead
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Old 10-11-2012, 12:39 PM   #96
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While changing a flat tire once a fellow asked I had a flat.....Duh...he was blond.

ken
HEY!! I resemble that remark!!
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:07 PM   #97
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Many years ago I was at work looking at the latest "employee discounts" newsletter. In the issue I was looking at they were touting discounts on photo processing specifically 5X7 prints at a price of $1.99 each and I commented to my co-worker what a great price that was and he asked me:

"What size is a 5x7 print?"

I replied: "That would be 5 inches wide and 7 inches tall, can you now guess what size a 3X5 print would be?"
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:25 PM   #98
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Living on Lake Huron my husband took a cousin's husband (So NOT family ) out in the Kayaks.
The water was really clear that day.
Guy stares at the bottom and asks:" Hey Max, who put all those rocks and boulders there?"
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