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Old 05-11-2011, 01:41 PM   #1
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The Accident Report

I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form I put "poor planning" as the cause of my acident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pully which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building, at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to assure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of brick. You will note in block number eleven of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground......and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately fifty pounds.

I refer you again to my weight in block number eleven. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body.

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay on the bricks - in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me - I again lost my presence of mind...............

I LET GO OF THE ROPE.....................
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Old 05-11-2011, 02:08 PM   #2
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Now that's what I call a bad day.
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Old 05-11-2011, 03:10 PM   #3
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I can not tell you how many times I have seen that story, or variations on it, there is even an Irish type song with that story as it's lyrics.

And it STILL makes me laugh.

Thanks for posting it. I needed the laugh.

Why Patty Won't Be Coming In To Work Today (The song)
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Old 05-11-2011, 09:38 PM   #4
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By the subject heading I thought we were going to be reading a post about an unfortunate traffic collision involving an RV. Instead I got a good laugh. Thanks.
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Old 05-11-2011, 09:52 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wa8yxm View Post
I can not tell you how many times I have seen that story, or variations on it, there is even an Irish type song with that story as it's lyrics.

And it STILL makes me laugh.

Thanks for posting it. I needed the laugh.

Why Patty Won't Be Coming In To Work Today (The song)
The Sick Note (Why Paddy's Not At Work Today)
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