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Old 03-16-2012, 10:22 AM   #15
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Well, I was asked to post this, so SWMBO said,

Quote:
Post this for me with your remarks -- (my note: I think the two -- are for Smart "A")

My wife said to tell my faithful readers that her cooking is obviously passable. I weigh 75 pounds more than I did when I retired from the Corps as a mean and lean hard body. Fifty of those pounds are from the local Taqueria - the rest from her cooking and my reluctance to eat vegetables like brussel sprouts, lettuce, green beans, and cucumbers. Corn and Pintos are more my speed. Carrots are fine as long as they are in her maple walnut carrot cake. Oops, I gained 2 pounds just writing about that one.
Rebuttal: It is not 75 pounds it is more like 30 pounds, give or take 10. They are not all from the Taqueria, more like a variety of home cooking, Taqueria, Golden Coral, Chinese buffets, Japanese buffets, fast foods, and fast living. Salad is not food, food eats salad. I love her carrot cake - oops, there goes another 2 pounds.
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Old 03-16-2012, 04:57 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayne M View Post
Well, I was asked to post this, so SWMBO said,

Rebuttal: It is not 75 pounds it is more like 30 pounds, give or take 10. They are not all from the Taqueria, more like a variety of home cooking, Taqueria, Golden Coral, Chinese buffets, Japanese buffets, fast foods, and fast living. Salad is not food, food eats salad. I love her carrot cake - oops, there goes another 2 pounds.
Good on yuh Marine; when my wife wants to go for Sushi I remind her that real men use Sushi for bait. Nuff Sail.
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Old 03-16-2012, 05:50 PM   #17
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You heard about the man who forgot his wife's birthday.. He begged for forgivness.

She said: "Ok but only if I find something in the driveway tomorrow that can go from zero to 200 in less than sixty seconds.

The next morning she looked out and there was a small package wrapped in a ribbon with a card attached....... A bathroom scale.

They are still looking for the body.
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Old 03-16-2012, 08:33 PM   #18
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Have you ever seen a stunningly beautiful woman and your wife says " isn't she the most beautiful woman you have ever seen". No matter what you say it's going to be wrong!!
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Old 03-17-2012, 02:37 AM   #19
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I could likely get by with a Simple "NO" to that one... Back in my college days I used to hang with some genuine beauty queens.. The kind who were presented with Tiara's at the end of the pagent.
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Old 03-17-2012, 06:45 AM   #20
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The menu was B rated

"B"raised dijon chicken thighs with shiitake mushrooms.
"B"asmati rice with fresh parsley.
"B"raised baby Brussel sprouts and red onion cooked in pancetta and concentrated chicken stock.

Sitting at the dinning table, enjoying the meal, when my wife says, "I shouldn't have added salt to the Brussel sprouts. They are to salty. The sauce is salty enough."

Tick, tick, tick, tick.

"Well how is it?"

I replied, "It's fine - tick tick - but the Brussel sprouts are salty."

She was chewing, tried to talk at the same time, swallowed wrong, and indicated to me to wait a minute by holding up one finger.

I'm sitting there with that big grin on my face and she says, "That's the last cooked meal you get!"

Let's see, anniversary coming up. Maybe a nice loving card will smooth things over.

She said I could make it up to her with about 2 carets.

I wonder why she's interested in rabbit food!
Women never forget... never. And the date too.

Wayne, yes or no? Have you stopped beating your wife?
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Old 03-17-2012, 12:05 PM   #21
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I did the same thing to my wife 7 years ago. I'm still doing ALL the cooking....
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Old 03-17-2012, 11:25 PM   #22
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In 1986 my wife came home after working all day and cooked supper for me and our 9 year old son. She tried another of the 10001 ways to take a perfectly good dead chicken and turn it into something not edible (you know, chicken is supposed to be deep fried with skillet gravy and biscuits). When that meal was over, she said that we were not appreciative enough and she was going to stop cooking. Monday Mar 19, 2012 is our 35th wedding anniversary. She still does not cook (except for herself).

You might need to be careful about what you say about DW's cooking.

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Old 03-18-2012, 12:02 PM   #23
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DW made a meal a couple of years back and after we finished and cleaned up she asked what I thought of the dinner. I said as enthusiastically as possible, "It was great but I wouldn't want it every year!" and she took exception.

I never was no good at figuring women.


didn't work neither.


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Old 03-18-2012, 04:43 PM   #24
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........Wayne, yes or no? Have you stopped beating your wife?
Yep! I stopped beating her when she agreed to marry me. It was the only way should would say yes. (kidding of course.)
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Old 03-18-2012, 04:47 PM   #25
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.......Wayne, yes or no? Have you stopped beating your wife?
Dunner,
You kwow that in the throes of passion a woman will scream and shout, and we all know that that means, right?

Well did you know that there are four forms of that passion,

The negative one, "Oh no, oh no, oh no!"

The positive one, "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!"

The religious one, "Oh God, oh God, oh God!"

and the fake one, "Oh Dunner, Oh Dunner, Oh Dunner!"

Hits home huh?
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Old 03-18-2012, 04:54 PM   #26
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Ya know, Texas isn't too far from me.
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Old 03-18-2012, 07:15 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayne M View Post
Well, I was asked to post this, so SWMBO said,

Rebuttal: It is not 75 pounds it is more like 30 pounds, give or take 10. They are not all from the Taqueria, more like a variety of home cooking, Taqueria, Golden Coral, Chinese buffets, Japanese buffets, fast foods, and fast living. Salad is not food, food eats salad. I love her carrot cake - oops, there goes another 2 pounds.
Portion size is important.....
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Old 03-18-2012, 09:21 PM   #28
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Dunner,
You kwow that in the throes of passion a woman will scream and shout, and we all know that that means, right?

Well did you know that there are four forms of that passion,

The negative one, "Oh no, oh no, oh no!"

The positive one, "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!"

The religious one, "Oh God, oh God, oh God!"

and the fake one, "Oh Dunner, Oh Dunner, Oh Dunner!"

Hits home huh?
Good one He He!
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