The ''EYE'' report

[Seajay]

Willa finally explained that the eye doctor was not interested in our car, she said he was going to remove my ''CATARAC'' on my left eye. I said shux because I was hoping he would buy the Tiffany we had for sale. No matter, here is what happened....


We got up at 4 in the morning so we could be sure and get to the hospital by 6 in the morning so we could wait in the lobby till 6;30 for them to call my name to go back to the little room where they took my clothes and my shoes and gave me a gown that was ''very revealing'' if I stood up. They took all my clothes except my sox which seemed strange to me and told me to put on the gown and cover up on the little cot. A cute nurse came in and asked my birth date and was I ''Seajay the sailor man'' and she put a bracelet on me with my name on it and a note saying they were going to take my CARARAC off my left eye. She left and doctor Kelty came in and checked my arm band and asked was that my big white car in the parking lot with the ''For Sale'' sign on the back window. I said yes and he asked the price and after I told him he said he might be interested in buying it later. Anyhow ….... The pretty nurse came back in and told me she was going to put drops in my eye to dilate my pupil and then she put stuff in my eye to numb the eye then she put stuff in my eye to sterilize it and was that my big white car in the parking lot with the ''For Sale'' sign on the back of it..... We discussed the car while she worked on my eye and she said she might be interested in the car. The doctor came back in and wrote his name over my left eye to be sure he fixed the right one and they took me down to the operating room with the big lights that smelled like cleaning fluid. They put this drape thing over my face and all that was showing was my left eye and due to the stuff the cute nurse had put in my eye, I could not see nothin' but a blob. The anesthesiologist guy said he was going to give me a ''silly shot'' to relax me in my I.V. And was that my big white car in the parking lot with ''For Sale'' written in the back window. He said he might be interested in the car and we would talk later. The doctor put a micro scope over my eye with a bright light on it. Now all I could see was a ''blob'' with a bright lite in the middle of it. He told me that if I needed to sneeze or cough just to warn them first. I said ok and he went to work.


I could not see what they were doing but I was listening carefully and the conversation went something like this.
Doctor … ''we need a number three ''gizulater'' to go on this eye nurse''
Nurse .. ''Yes doctor..... did you see the big white car in the parking lot with the ''For Sale'' sign in the back window?''
Doctor …. ''Yes I did, I might talk to him later about buying it''.. We need to ''conglobulate'' the ''dioformalt'' so we can insize the ''beezelbaph''.
Nurse..... ''Yes doctor''
I heard a light clanking sound and felt some pressure on my eye.
Nurse...... ''If he would take a little less on that selling price of the big white car in the parking lot with the ''For Sale'' sign in the back window, I might be interested in buying it''........
Doctor..... ''You doing ok there Sea Way?''
Me ….. ''Yep, doin fine, no problems''......
Doctor.... ''Nurse, prepare the ''insizolater'' for the ''delapization'' of the ''octifonella'' and we need to wash this eye again to remove the ''oozliewoopel''.....
Nurse ….. ''Yes doctor''
I heard a squirting sound and a kinda slurping sound and what sounded like a pump running....
Doctor...... ''Ok Sea Ray, you are doing just fine. We have ''delapizilized'' your ''Octifonella'' and removed your ''Oozliewoopel” and we are preparing to put a new ''What cha ma call it'' in your eye and then we will be done.
Me. '' Ok Doctor... you are in charge''
Doctor.... ''My nurse wants to know if you would take a trade in on the big white car in the parking lot with the ''For Sale'' sign in the back window''
Me. ''Tell her it is a straight sale..... no trades''.....
He finished the operation and got me back together and a guy came in to roll me back to my room for recovery. He asked if I had seen the big white car in the parking lot with the ''For Sale'' sign in the back window and I said yeah, it is my car. He said ''Wow, if that was my car, I would never sell it''......
All went well and Willa told me that three people had asked about the big white car in the parking lot with the ''For Sale'' sign in the back window.
I am doing fine now. The ''Eye'' is working better than it has in years and the Doctor told me it would be even better in a couple of days when my ''What-cha-ma-call-it'' conforms to my ''Diolipulator nerve''.



Many thanks for all the concern, prayers and kind thoughts from all you guys and the words of encouragement concerning this.....


A brave soldier died to give us freedom. Lets never forget that....


ps. I think I got the ''Big white car with the ''For Sale'' sign in the back window …. SOLD ….... lol....

[4Knights]

Glad to hear you're ok, make sure to follow the post op instructions, no deep sea diving for awhile
Ron

[tomwalt]

Eye Eye skipper - ya done good today:>)

[hondo122]

Good luck
PS wait till you see how pretty Willa really is, you'll be happy! Don't ask how I know I'm taking the fifth

[jwomack]

We all knew you could do it! Glad to hear you're doing well and on your way to recovery.

[JimM68]

Glad to hear all went well Seajay!

[Wayne M]

Now if you would just remove your head from where you stuck it, you would see even better.

Glad it all turned out well.

Cut the price in half and I might buy the car.

[JRNOLL]

Happy to hear all went well.

[Ray,IN]

Welcome to the club! I also have intraocular lens implants.( I hadta look that up) Did they give you a chart to keep track of when and how many drops of each medicine you put in your eye each day? DW and I would never have kept track without the chart. Follow the doctors orders exactly, a friend didn't and he has trouble with his eyes; they may require a redo.

[Seajay]

Reply to Ray. Yep, sure did. I got three little bottles of ''stuff'' and a chart as to how many drops of each to put in the old eye ball every day. I am down to two bottles now. One of them called ''yoosoflagnuggli'' I am using only once a day now and the other one called ''heptiglottonagoogle'' I have started tapering off using. I go from four drops a day to three drops a day next week and so on, every week reducing the drops by one a day, three, two, one so to speak over each week respectively till I get down to nothing. Then it will be time to ''do the other eye'' and I will go thur the whole mess again when they do the other eye. This is the great advantage in being married to a nurse. She keeps up with all this stuff and takes great pride in interrupting what ever I am doing to give me my ''drops''... I can be napping in my recliner and she will wake me for my ''drops''. I asked the doctor how long it would be before I could play the guitar and he said I could play it now but that did not work,,,,,, of course I NEVER COULD PLAY THE FLAMIN GUITAR but it was a thought .....lol....
Be safe my vet brother and God bless you for your service to my country.