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Old 10-13-2011, 05:07 PM   #1
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The secret to dog poop in my pocket .......

Ok Ö... Here is a news flash for all you guys that got a kick and a laugh out of my ''Poop in the Pocket'' ritual.


(cough cough)
Now a lot of people dont know this but here are the facts.
One. If you will carry a little dog poop in your pocket it will ward off sickness and it will bring you ''good luck''.
Two. I knew that when I got home from the rally that I would have to go on Monday to have a Cadillac removed from my right eye and I figured I would need some ''good luck'' to get thru the surgery without a problem.
Three... This is why I was carrying a small bag of ''dog poop'' in my right pocket when I came up to the tent to sit and talk to you guys. (a lot of people dont know that)
Four. The ''luckiest dog poop'' to carry is Yorkshire Terrier dog poop because Yorkies have that ''special poop'' that always brings good luck and wards off sickness. Think about this. Have you ever seen a sick Miniature Yorkie with a Cadillac on its right eye?
Five. I found all this out when I was in Vegas a couple of years ago from a old Apache Indian standing on the corner of Walk and Dont Walk selling small plastic bags of ''stuff'' that would bring luck when you gamble. For two dollars I purchased a ''small bag'' and he instructed me to put it in my right hand coat pocket for good luck and long life and good health. I did all this and went to a Texas Holdum game and won FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS with a royal flush. I noticed it was easy to get a seat at the crowded table because when I walked up to the table for a look around, two guys folded their hand, got up and left, and no one but NO ONE sat down beside me during the complete game. I crammed the five hundred dollars in my pocket with my ''small bag of lucky stuff'' and when I showed it to Willa, she would not touch the money so I got to keep it.
Six. By close examination and the ''sniff test'' I found out that the ''lucky stuff'' was simply Yorkshire Terrier Dog Poop and since then, anytime I need good luck or good health I carry a small plastic bag of Yorkie dog poop with me.
During the eye surgery I noticed that the eye doctor asked the nurse if she had stepped in anything on her way to work. I just grinned and didn't say nothin'.
Seven.... This valuable information concerning ''lucky dog poop, in a bag'' will cost you guys ten cents to use or the next time you go to play Texas Holdum in Vegas or have a Cadillac taken off your eye and need some luck, and good health, get in touch with me and I will send you some Lucky Miniature Yorkshire Terrier Dog Poop, in a plastic bag for two dollars plus ten cents plus shipping and handling costs.
Eight. I really don't see how you guys got by before I came on IRV2 without all this good advise from me.......
(cough cough)


Note from CJ.
Many Many thanks to all you guys for supporting the fifty fifty like you did when you found out that half the monies was going to Wounded Warrior Project for our wounded troops. Many Many thanks to those of you that simply handed me donations for the Wounded Warrior Project when I came around giving away ''cold beer and hot weenees''. Many shook hands with me and thanked me for my service to our country and said that they were not veterans but they wanted to do something to show their support for our troops. It makes me feel good to be a part of a fine group like you guys.


Ö...........Ten years is enough............
Ö............LEAVE NOW Ö...........
Ö.........It ain't worth another soldier, not one.
Ö...........Americans Come Home Ö...........
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Old 10-13-2011, 06:13 PM   #2
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Well Seajay, that just explains everything. Gosh all this time we just thought you had forgotten to throw it away.

Great to meet you and Willa at the Rally and hope to see you down the road.And welcome back to IRV2.
Brenda
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Old 10-13-2011, 07:18 PM   #3
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Well Seajay, that just explains everything. Gosh all this time we just thought you had forgotten to throw it away.

Great to meet you and Willa at the Rally and hope to see you down the road.And welcome back to IRV2.
Brenda
Likewise, great to meet the both of you and share a beer, conversation and a little BS. Surprised to find out this late that I could have gotten a bag of &@$? When I was there and could have saved the shipping charges.
Ron
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Old 10-13-2011, 07:34 PM   #4
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Likewise, great to meet the both of you and share a beer, conversation and a little BS. Surprised to find out this late that I could have gotten a bag of &@$? When I was there and could have saved the shipping charges.
Ron
Right back at you Ron and it was a real pleasure to meet and greet you ..... Oh ,,,,, by the way, I am amazed you didnt notice it in your rental car I placed a small bag of ''lucky poop'' under your drivers seat so you would be safe heading back to Washington/Va. area. Looks like it worked cause you seem to be ok ...
I tell you my friend .... When you got a friend like me, you got it all ...

stay in touch and many thanks for your service to this great nation ....
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Old 10-16-2011, 03:54 PM   #5
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Speaking of dog poop I decided to take your advice, I was planning a trip to the Sugarhouse Casino, so I took Zeus out for a walk. I always carry several bags when I walk Zeus because he likes to leave greetings a couple of times during his walks. So here I am with 2 sizable bags of dog poop and I thought they were pretty big so I put 1 in each front pocket to kind of balance things out. Now on the way in the casino somehow I attracted the attention of security. I was asked by the guard what I was carrying in my pockets, maybe it looked like a gun, so I told him dog poop. Now this aggravated him as he thought I was lying. He called another guard over and asked again, I replied dog poop. His face got bright red and he told me if I wasnít honest with him he would call the police. I again said dog poop so he called the State trooper thatís stationed outside over, he asked whatís in your pocket, I answered dog poop for the last time. He then called for a police wagon and said I was under arrest.. I looked at him and smiled and said if you donít want to look silly in front of the other cops he should reach in and get whatís in my pocket out. He looked at me funny then slowly reached into my pocket, now the bags are kind of thin so he poked a hole with his finger and when he pulled the bag out had poop on his finger, I said I told you it was dog poop, thatís when he hit the guard over the head with the bag of dog poop and stormed off to the bathroom to wash up. Now Iím banned for life from the Sugarhouse so it turns out it was lucky because Iím a terrible poker player.
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Old 10-16-2011, 08:40 PM   #6
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Hondo, this simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that I always speak the truth on certain subjects. You and I both know that a lot of people on here think I am full of ''dog poop'' with some of my stories that I publish and there is no truth to them but you have proven my case for me as of now and I am very grateful. For all you ''Doubting Thomas's'' on here, from now on when I post something weird you really need to believe me.

(cough cough)

I was not a hero but I served with heroes...... God bless our vets ....
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Old 10-17-2011, 09:00 AM   #7
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Hondo, this simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that I always speak the truth on certain subjects. You and I both know that a lot of people on here think I am full of ''dog poop'' with some of my stories that I publish and there is no truth to them but you have proven my case for me as of now and I am very grateful. For all you ''Doubting Thomas's'' on here, from now on when I post something weird you really need to believe me.

(cough cough)

I was not a hero but I served with heroes...... God bless our vets ....
Seajay, this is based on a true story, the names have been changed to protect the guilty! I actually witnessed this, the primary difference was it was horse poop.
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Old 10-18-2011, 11:26 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Seajay View Post
Hondo, this simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that I always speak the truth on certain subjects. You and I both know that a lot of people on here think I am full of ''dog poop'' with some of my stories that I publish and there is no truth to them but you have proven my case for me as of now and I am very grateful. For all you ''Doubting Thomas's'' on here, from now on when I post something weird you really need to believe me.

(cough cough)

I was not a hero but I served with heroes...... God bless our vets ....
Quote:
Originally Posted by hondo122 View Post
Seajay, this is based on a true story, the names have been changed to protect the guilty! I actually witnessed this, the primary difference was it was horse poop.


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Old 10-23-2011, 09:27 AM   #9
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Obviously the interest in dog poop has waned, but I'm thinking folks in DC could sure use some luck if they expect to get re elected after the cut in VA benefits. Just a thought not a suggestion
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