Tub Repairs by Seajay

[Seajay]

[moderator edit]
Here is how I fixed a crack in my bath tub in one easy six pack.


One. Willa informed me that there was a ''crack'' in the bottom of the bath tub. [moderator edit]


Two. The ''crack'' was about five inches long and just visible in the bottom of the tub.


Three. I went to Lowe's and bought a ''repair kit'' seemingly made for the problem I had concerning the tub. I also recommend buying some plastic screen wire, about two inches wide and a foot long.


Four … you will need a ''mixing pad of some sort'', a putty knife and a towel with ''acetone'' or finger nail polish remover to get up the dribbles.


Five.... I bought four cans of ''hard foam filler'' (too many) to put some ''filler'' under the tub in case there was nothing under it for support. Mine had some supports but the engineering was done by Donald Duck.


Six.... I stopped at the Flash Market and picked up two six packs and two Slim Jims, a bag of pretzels, two pickled eggs, and a can of sardines, and a large Kosher Dill Pickle.
(work sometimes make me hungry)


Seven... I called ahead and informed Willa that I was going to fix the tub and that she should give the area around the 'crack' a good scrubbing before I got home so I could work on it.


Eight.... I got back to the coach and carried all my ''stuff'' into the bed room and opened a beer and a Slim Jim. I looked at the ''crack'' and said that ''this thing needs filling''...... I checked it for cleanliness and it was spotless. I got out my cordless drill and put a grinding ''bur'' in the chuck and widened the ''crack'' to about one sixteenth. I took a swig of beer and a bite of Slim Jim and observed my work. We have on of those ''Dust Busters'' and I cleaned up the chips and had another swig of beer and a bight of slim jim. I changed over to a drill bit the size of the ''straw'' in the foam can and bored 4 holes along the ''Crack'' to shoot the foam thru and again cleaned up the chips with the dust buster and had another swig of beer and finished off the slim jim. I wiped the area down with the acetone for a good bond later. (wow, that stuff is strong)


Nine. I got out the hard foam stuff and shook it up real good like the instructions said and finished the beer and opened another and I opened the pretzels and laid them in the bottom of the tub being careful not to spill crumbs in the tub. I took the foam thingie and poked the ''straw'' thru the hole and shot foam down into the void for about three seconds. I repeated this thru all the holes and had a handful of pretzels and a big swig of beer and rested a minute cause squrtin' foam is a tough job. ( that acetone smell was still very strong) I kept repeating this till the foam stuff started rising up thru the crack and the beer and pretzels were almost gone so I took my putty knife and scraped off the foam that oozed up thru the crack and finished the beer and went in the kitchen and sat down and opened me another beer and got out a pickled egg and salted it and ate the top of it and had another swig of beer and got out the ''epoxy stuff'' and got out a piece of cardboard that I found outside and mixed equal parts of ''epoxy stuff'' and ''hardener stuff'' and squashed it all together on the cardboard and had a big swollow of beer because ''mixin' stuff'' is hard work and I decided to take a break and finish my pickeled egg and my beer before it got hot. I finished the beer and the egg with three dogs watching me and waiting for me to drop some of the egg. Didn't happen. I finally picked up another beer and my epoxy stuff and went back to the tub to put the epoxy on the now foam filled crack in the bottom of the tub. Much to my surprise the epoxy on the card board had turned into a solid lump and it would have taken a sledge hammer to break it up. I said shux, took a swig of beer, and got some more cardboard and epoxy and a putty knife to mix and spread the glue with. Instead of mixing on the cardboard I figured it would be just as good to just mix the epoxy in the bottom of the tub right beside the crack in the bottom of the tub that way I could just ''Mix and Spread'' kinda' in one continuous motion. (now the acetone fumes were mixing with the epoxy fumes) I sat my beer in the tub also so it would be handy in case I happen to be overcome by the epoxy/acetone fumes from mixing the epoxy. I squeezed out equal amounts of the epoxy glue and hardner and in a maddening rush started mixing the glue and accidentally spilled my beer in the bottom of the tub and I said SHUX real loud. I think I got some beer mixed with the epoxy glue because the glue looks like it has bubbles in it now. I spread the glue out in the crack and told Willa to bring me another beer and a Slim Jim. She told me that Finnie, my dog had gotten up on the bench beside the table and had gotten hold of my last Slim Jim and had eaten most of it and he was throwin' up on the sofa because of the spices in the Slim Jim. I said SHUX again real loud and continued to spread the epoxy glue on the bottom of the tub being careful not to mix it with the beer that I had previously spilled. I got the glue spread pretty good but the fumes were suffocating and I had to stop and drink a whole beer to get over the ''woozies'' that had over come me from the epoxy glue and acetone fumes. I stood up and told Willa to bring me the boiled egg and the pickle to celebrate my completion of the crack filling in the bottom of the tub. I kinda flopped down on the foot of the bed and she brought me my beer, egg and pickle. I sat there all proud of myself for doing such a good job and my lovely wife Willa had a comment. It went something like this.
''Hay there mister ''fixit man''..... I see one little small error in your bath tub crack fixin project.''
''And what may that be my little cuddlepuppie ''??????
''Well, when you finished spreading the glue you seem to have forgotten to get up your putty knife and I believe the glue has set up with the putty knife trapped in the glue in the bottom of the tub.”
I looked and sure enough........ THE PUTTY KNIFE WAS STUCK IN THE GLUE... I said SHUX real loud and finished the boiled egg and the beer and I opened the pickle and considered eating the sardines along with the pickle and another beer but I didn't want to upset my delicate tummy.


All is not lost. I figure that the steel blade of the putty knife will serve as a really good reinforcement for the broken place in the bottom of the tub and I can put a wash rag over the wooden handle of the putty knife to protect her delicate feet from stubbing her toe on the handle of the putty knife and who else do you know with a putty knife imbedded in the glue in the bottom of their tub with a crack in it and beer bubbles too? (cough cough)


If you use my method of tub repair you will have to pay me ten cents for the engineering work I did on this project and you can pay me the next time you see me.



thank a vet for your freedom... some died giving it to you


I will post again when I find something worth writing about ...me.....

[num1dgh]

So reading this before 6am my eyes kept blurring . . . was it the tears of laughter or hysteria?! That is the funniest story! I especially appreciate your talent for combining refreshments with your repair job . . . you gotta keep up your strength.

[Wayne M]

I'm just gonna make sure I park a couple spaces down from him so he doesn't work on my stuff, and especially drink my beer, or eat my eggs and pickles.

[MegaRoadie]

Seajay can eat my pickles and drink my beer anytime, Wayne you need to bring the cheese and liverworst, unless the "fancies" are around then call it "Fois Gras" pronounced "frog's ass" or "frog quaa" or summin like dat. And triscut crackers to smear it on too !

Oh and Seajay, did DW test it with you there ??? I always use a DW Test to see if the job is done, that and lookin for blood somewhere.. no blood the job cannot possibly be done or even close ! And put new putty knife on the shoppin list with slim jims and pickled eggs. That epoxy stuff is awful to smell, worse to work with especially if ya dont wanna move real fast or have trouble like me rememberin what the heck ya set out to do in the first place. ONLY use I ever found for acetone is as an INSTANT PANTY DISSOLVER... buy couple six packs or a bottle of Jack and that story can come to life if DW is nowhere close-by !

And I sure hope all the wise-crackers keep it clean here in this thread so none of those pesky "room monitors" kills our thread... lol

I do NOT suffer from mental illness, but rather enjoy it daily !

[Bob/Becky D - VA]

After that "feast" you should'nt need to buy propane for a while either. Just plug in the hose and let'r rip.

[okmunky]

Seajay, you should write an RV repair manual! I'm sure it would REALLY help the economy with all the extra beer and snack sales it would generate.

[Wayne M]

I liked Seajay's original version before the edit. Oh well. That's what they get "paid" for.

I love liverwurst and beer cheese, well not really beer cheese, but I do like cheese, especially when I'm wineing (errr Whining).

[slickest1]

Sounds like a job well done! I enjoyed the Aw Shucks parts, a job isn't well done without a few of those. If I ever have to repair my tub I will consider this method.

[Wayne M]

I most certainly will seek Willa's supervision.

[Teachrz]

I'm impressed that you can spell so well after all that beer!

[SRT]

Never heard of pickled eggs. Yuck!

[Glenn and Kathy]

Originally Posted by SRT

Never heard of pickled eggs. Yuck!

You musta never hung out in any taverns in Minn. When I was young and foolish I spent a lot of time those places, and never saw one that didn't have a jug off pickled eggs on the back bar.

Glenn

[slickest1]

Pickled eggs usually determine wether you get help with a job or not. Most often not.

[codgerbill]

My son attended a college waaaaay up in da U.P.(Michigan) an he bakame a yooper. When we, and sometimes only I, went ta visit him we always hadda bring cash. He would take me to a place in Houghton (the Doghouse) and introduce me to cheap beer and....pickeled eggs. It was so good that I kept tasing dose eggs for hours afterward
After he gradiated and became gainfully m-ployed he tried widout sukcess to make dose eggs....no such luck