US Congress To Outlaw Personal Responsibility Effective Today

[Jayco1]

US Congress To Outlaw Personal Responsibility Effective Today


Washington, D. C. April 1, 2007

In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Congress voted to make illegal the acceptance of personal responsibility by persons living or working within the borders of this country.

"The idea that somebody would actually take responsibility for their actions is so... so 20'th century," said former President Bill Clinton who was interviewed on the pending legislation by CNN's Larry King last night.

Some of the many actions that will now become illegal include:

Purchasing a home that is within your family's budget. This is a hopelessly responsible thing to do, and sets a bad example for the next generation. People will be required to purchase homes that are most costly than they can afford, and then whine to the TV cameras about their poor, pitiful plight when paying for the purchase they made of their own free will becomes too much to handle.

Living within ones means, in general, will become illegal. One cannot become dependent on the Nanny State, nor will they ever become slaves to the bankers or hopelessly locked into the work world if they live prudently and refuse to take on personal debt. So effective immediately, every family will be required to carry at least 10 credit cards on their person at all times, and charge at least 90% of their monthly budget on them. Paying off the full balance at the end of the month will also be illegal, as this is really no different than refusing to take on debt in the first place.

Growing one's own food will be illegal, effective today, as will be hunting for one's food (with or without the proper licenses), as this encourages independence from foreign imported foods and might decrease one's chance of purchasing tainted food. Foreign countries spray their food crops with chemicals deemed too toxic for use here in the US, which means that imported foods run greater risk of contamination. In addition, foreign food growers (for example, China) are known to contaminate their wheat gluten with rodenticides and plastics materials, which most domestic American family gardeners do not do. Since growing one's own food is probably effective in reducing the risk of food poisoning, and it would be responsible behavior on a citizen's part to feed their family the food least likely to suffer from contamination, this kind of responsible behavior is being outlawed.

Stockpiling food and other essentials in light of the fragility of the food supply system in this country will also be illegal, effective immediately. Families that prepare ahead of time for disaster are less vulnerable and in general safer than those who did not prepare ahead of time. This kind of responsible behavior just cannot continue, thus this new law makes preparing for future emergencies illegal.

Effective immediately, men and women marrying one another with a legally registered marriage license will be illegal. When a man marries a woman, he is taken responsibility for his wife and any children they might have. This kind of responsible behavior cannot be tolerated.

Politicians will not be allowed, under any circumstances, to balance the budget. Spending more money than is taken in through taxes is the law, beginning today. Stealing money out of the Social Security Trust Fund to pay for upkeep on the Bush family ranch, Cheney's state of the art defibrillation machine, and Pelosi's luxury jet are required by law, effective today. In addition, politicians will not be answerable to the voters who think they voted them into office, but will be answerable only to those who control the programming of the Die bold electronic voting machines.

There are many other changes that will result from adoption of this new law that prohibits personal responsibility, but it is not this reporter's responsibility to inform you of all the changes coming as a result of the legislation.



April Fools
(From another board by Barry Natchitoches)

[Jayco1]

US Congress To Outlaw Personal Responsibility Effective Today


Washington, D. C. April 1, 2007

In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Congress voted to make illegal the acceptance of personal responsibility by persons living or working within the borders of this country.

"The idea that somebody would actually take responsibility for their actions is so... so 20'th century," said former President Bill Clinton who was interviewed on the pending legislation by CNN's Larry King last night.

Some of the many actions that will now become illegal include:

Purchasing a home that is within your family's budget. This is a hopelessly responsible thing to do, and sets a bad example for the next generation. People will be required to purchase homes that are most costly than they can afford, and then whine to the TV cameras about their poor, pitiful plight when paying for the purchase they made of their own free will becomes too much to handle.

Living within ones means, in general, will become illegal. One cannot become dependent on the Nanny State, nor will they ever become slaves to the bankers or hopelessly locked into the work world if they live prudently and refuse to take on personal debt. So effective immediately, every family will be required to carry at least 10 credit cards on their person at all times, and charge at least 90% of their monthly budget on them. Paying off the full balance at the end of the month will also be illegal, as this is really no different than refusing to take on debt in the first place.

Growing one's own food will be illegal, effective today, as will be hunting for one's food (with or without the proper licenses), as this encourages independence from foreign imported foods and might decrease one's chance of purchasing tainted food. Foreign countries spray their food crops with chemicals deemed too toxic for use here in the US, which means that imported foods run greater risk of contamination. In addition, foreign food growers (for example, China) are known to contaminate their wheat gluten with rodenticides and plastics materials, which most domestic American family gardeners do not do. Since growing one's own food is probably effective in reducing the risk of food poisoning, and it would be responsible behavior on a citizen's part to feed their family the food least likely to suffer from contamination, this kind of responsible behavior is being outlawed.

Stockpiling food and other essentials in light of the fragility of the food supply system in this country will also be illegal, effective immediately. Families that prepare ahead of time for disaster are less vulnerable and in general safer than those who did not prepare ahead of time. This kind of responsible behavior just cannot continue, thus this new law makes preparing for future emergencies illegal.

Effective immediately, men and women marrying one another with a legally registered marriage license will be illegal. When a man marries a woman, he is taken responsibility for his wife and any children they might have. This kind of responsible behavior cannot be tolerated.

Politicians will not be allowed, under any circumstances, to balance the budget. Spending more money than is taken in through taxes is the law, beginning today. Stealing money out of the Social Security Trust Fund to pay for upkeep on the Bush family ranch, Cheney's state of the art defibrillation machine, and Pelosi's luxury jet are required by law, effective today. In addition, politicians will not be answerable to the voters who think they voted them into office, but will be answerable only to those who control the programming of the Die bold electronic voting machines.

There are many other changes that will result from adoption of this new law that prohibits personal responsibility, but it is not this reporter's responsibility to inform you of all the changes coming as a result of the legislation.



April Fools
(From another board by Barry Natchitoches)

[Rich & Zara]

<span class="ev_code_RED">APRIL FOOLS</span>

[apackof2]

I thougth most of these were ALREADY in effect

[MCDDY]

And the ACLU says "The Problem is What"??? But then if no one is responsible for anything we would have no need for Lawyers, April Fools could have possibilities.
Dave

[j2detoit]

Be careful what you wish for Sometimes it seems to me we have already arrived at that mystical place you speek of