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Old 01-02-2014, 07:01 PM   #1
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Weird passenger question

So
I have been looking and even asked my insurance agent
I am planning a trip to florida in our motorhome
my aged mother in law is planning to ride with us, as a good part of the clan lives in florida so she can see the grand kids, greatgrandkids etc
her health is such that she will not fly and uses O2 at night to aid her breathing.

I dont want to seem cold, but i expect she is only hanging on to see the whole clan and then she may give up the ghost on the return trip.
so other than stopping and calling 911 on the side of the road if she expires, what should I expect?
her funeral stuff is already paid for and we could do her cremation i guess anywhere along the way, I am not particularity fond of carrying her ashes back with us but i guess it would be better than fedexing her back.

i know this sounds morbid, but i have to plan ahead
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Old 01-02-2014, 07:06 PM   #2
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Don't do it.
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Old 01-02-2014, 07:12 PM   #3
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I wouldn't FedEx it. They are known to lose packages. What good is insurance if they lose it. Daughter would never forgive you if they did.
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Old 01-02-2014, 08:43 PM   #4
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Hope for the best as she probably will make it both ways. If she only needs oxygen at night she will need to suffer from a number of other malidies for the ride back to take her. My mother has been telling anyone who will listen that she is at deaths door for a year now and people are getting suspicious of making several trips to Florida to see her one last time. She has her valves set at 6 liters and is on it 24 hours a day. Still going strong.
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Old 01-02-2014, 09:04 PM   #5
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I understand that you are not being morbid, and are asking a serious question....so I will give you a serious answer. Should the unthinkable happen, and she passes on the road, stop immediately and call 911. It will save you untold legal grief later to have a proper and timely pronouncement of death by an official of whatever jurisdiction you are in. Without going into too much detail, it's also harder, in some cases, than most people think to determine who is dead and who is not...even if she has a valid DNR (Do Not Resuscitate Order), let the professionals deal with that.

It's not a pleasant thing to ponder, or experience, and you have my utmost respect and sympathy.

I am speaking from many years as a Volunteer EMT/firefighter and a retired Public Safety communications engineer.

God Bless you and your family.
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Old 01-02-2014, 10:26 PM   #6
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Dying is hard work and it takes a few days usually. Systems must shut down etc. it generally won't happen overnight... as in you leave to return home and boom the next morning she is gone.... I could be wrong, and she might could do that, but in general, it isn't too much the way it goes. If she were already in such poor shape that she might expire quickly, she wouldn't probably be well enough to make the trip.
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Old 01-02-2014, 10:32 PM   #7
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Buy an urn, have the crematorium put the ashes in the urn. Both my parents are in metal urns on a table in an unused room. My step daughters are still in the cardboard box in one of my safes. We do have an urn for her ashes just haven't taken it in to do the transfer.
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Old 01-02-2014, 10:38 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee L View Post
I understand that you are not being morbid, and are asking a serious question....so I will give you a serious answer. Should the unthinkable happen, and she passes on the road, stop immediately and call 911. It will save you untold legal grief later to have a proper and timely pronouncement of death by an official of whatever jurisdiction you are in. Without going into too much detail, it's also harder, in some cases, than most people think to determine who is dead and who is not...even if she has a valid DNR (Do Not Resuscitate Order), let the professionals deal with that.

It's not a pleasant thing to ponder, or experience, and you have my utmost respect and sympathy.

I am speaking from many years as a Volunteer EMT/firefighter and a retired Public Safety communications engineer.

God Bless you and your family.
thanks i thought pretty much the same, but no one I could find had any other answers
I suspect she will make it out....but the return trip It would not be a complete surprise if she fell asleep and left us.
her age and mindset she is really just hanging around to see the little ones, its sorry the other kids (6) (i am having here stay with the other kids after we arrive) wont come out here to see her, so the good son in law is taking her. We will be there a month (i am having her stay with the other kids after we arrive) and then head back, the way luck is going lately thats when she will let go, full knowing she is safe and ok in our care.

she has scared us a few times this past year.
at her age i pretty much let her do what she wants...she earned by living so long.
thanks and thanks for the goodwill thoughts.
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Old 01-02-2014, 10:56 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by powerboatr View Post
So
I have been looking and even asked my insurance agent
I am planning a trip to florida in our motorhome
my aged mother in law is planning to ride with us, as a good part of the clan lives in florida so she can see the grand kids, greatgrandkids etc
her health is such that she will not fly and uses O2 at night to aid her breathing.

I dont want to seem cold, but i expect she is only hanging on to see the whole clan and then she may give up the ghost on the return trip.
so other than stopping and calling 911 on the side of the road if she expires, what should I expect?
her funeral stuff is already paid for and we could do her cremation i guess anywhere along the way, I am not particularity fond of carrying her ashes back with us but i guess it would be better than fedexing her back.

i know this sounds morbid, but i have to plan ahead
My DH and I were new to RVing last year and both of us are in are late 60's and in good health. We wanted a roadside service and looked at both Coach Net and Good Sam's. Coach Net has services for just what you are questioning. I think maybe Good Sam's does also. We chose Coach Net and I believe that it covered other family members, i.e., children/grandchildren if traveling with us. It maybe worth checking either of these out for that purpose. We chose Coach Net for several reasons which at this time of night and past my bed time I can't remember now but the yearly cost was less than $200. I believe it was $169 or $179 for the year. Might be well worth the cost in case what you are concerned about did happen.
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Old 01-03-2014, 08:29 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee L View Post
...even if she has a valid DNR (Do Not Resuscitate Order), let the professionals deal with that.
I am also an EMT. If your MIL has a DNR order, carry the original copy with you, or responding personnel are obligated to begin CPR.

I hope you travel uneventfully, and that your MIL enjoys her visit with family. Bless you for taking her.
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Old 01-03-2014, 09:53 AM   #11
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POWERBOATR Said: "she has scared us a few times this past year.
at her age i pretty much let her do what she wants...she earned by living so long."

You sir, are a gentlemen. She is lucky to have you in her family.
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Old 01-03-2014, 12:57 PM   #12
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I belong to MASA so when I die, either my body or my ashes will be returned to the location of my choice (White Chappel Cemetary, Troy, MI).

My motor home goes either to my daughter or my brother by porter.

My advice to you, Since you are planing on cremation "Along the way" as you put it...

My wife died last Easter, 3:45 pm Easter Sunday Mar 31, 2013. We had agreed on creamation.

So I made arrangements and picked up her ashes.. They were in a box (Cardboard I think) inside a velvet like bag.. She returned to Michigan in the passenger seat of the motor home where she has rode for the last five years. (MASA paid for the gas. Seriously, they paid for the gas).

The box is fairly small. I have a small jewlery box that is larger. A 1 pound loaf of bread from my bread machine is larger.

You can transport it back with you.. It need not be inside the motor home where I carried my wife..


That said: I have kind of a left hand orientation on many things (Including some tasks which I perform either left handed or either handed). What this means here is that my emotional responses are generally not normal.. I'm very .. Controlled, Trained as a child to be that way and the training stuck.. TO A FAULT.
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Old 01-03-2014, 04:10 PM   #13
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I had a nice update and BAm i lost internet

we had a good chat with MIL
my wife has the medical POA and a regular POA for her mom
we have the cert copy of her will, and a decree for the DNR.
we also have a notarized letter wishing of cremation.
I have to still hear back from the folks who are paid already to process the cremation on if its nationwide or only in texas.
I am hoping its nationwide as she bought it n florida and transferred it to texas a few years back

property is easy, she owns very little and we have had her spend her funds on her stuff vice worry about the kids

Thanks all for helping me sort out my thoughts and hopefully not skip anything
we also have coach net, waiting on a call back now on a few concerns
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Old 01-03-2014, 04:27 PM   #14
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Do what they did with Bernie! Tie her on the roof till you get back home. Seriously, this can be very expensive. discuss this with your attorney and get his legal advice. we do not take wife's Mother in the MH anymore on the advice of our attorney. People are not allowed to just transport bodies across state lines. returning her home in a deceased manner is expensive, it becomes YOUR responsibility to get her back to the funeral home. cremation is one way then just take the jar back to the funeral home. if she was to pass while on a highway you got a problem. A couple traveling on HWY 4 in Florida wife suddenly died. he called EMS. they came, did you know they can not pronounce someone DEAD? they took her and transported her to a local hospital. Upon admittance the hospital DR. signed the death certificate. Now the real fun begins. When the undertaker went to get the body the hospital wouldn't release her until settlement was made for her admittance. Oh and the county had a hold on the deceased until EMS charges for transport were paid. finally after paying over $15,000 the body was released to the funeral company. and the funeral company wanted an additional fee for traveling out of the local community to retrieve her. safe travels.... ed
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