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Old 10-16-2012, 01:38 PM   #127
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goldpan View Post
Now That's Funny
I Don't Care What Anybody Says

The rest of it:

Men: Stand close, it's shorter than you think.
Women: Please remain seated for the entire performance.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:40 PM   #128
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Dad's favourites:

Persistence Pays Off.

A smart man learns from his mistakes - a wise man learns from other people's mistakes.
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Old 10-16-2012, 07:21 PM   #129
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"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'"

Ronald Reagan

Loose lips sink ships
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Old 10-16-2012, 07:53 PM   #130
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old saying

Busier than a cat covering up poop under a guava tree.

Worried man can't sleep
Jealous man can't work
and a Scared man won't chance it(WIN)

Let the hair turn white just don't let it turn loose.
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Old 10-17-2012, 02:24 PM   #131
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Some people like to turn back there odometers, not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I have traveled a lot of roads and some of them were not paved. (Will Rogers)
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Old 10-17-2012, 02:45 PM   #132
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dale5of7 View Post
As friendly as anyone grenade

The wheel's spinning, but the Hamster's dead. (really clueless or stupid person)
KaThunk, KaThunk, KaThunk!
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Old 10-17-2012, 03:20 PM   #133
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Ones I grew up with:

Theres a place for everything & everything is in its place.
A job worth doing is a job worth doing right!
A penny saved is a penny earned.
Find a penny pick it up & all the day you'll have good luck.
If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.

Mine that I've added:
When what you say & what you do conflict, its what you DO that matters!
The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I'm sure theres more, and I've meant to make up a list of them but have yet to.
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Old 10-17-2012, 08:52 PM   #134
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Originally Posted by HD4Mark View Post
Not exactly how I heard it
Well, I usually hear it directed AT me... and the word "Jerk" is open for substitutions....
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Old 10-17-2012, 08:54 PM   #135
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Caution, be sure brain is engaged before putting mouth into gear.

You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink
You can lead a man to knowledge but you cannot make him think!
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:05 PM   #136
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What ever

3 kinds of people,those that make things happen,those that watch things happen,those that wonder,WHAT THE HECK HAPPEN
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:36 PM   #137
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You couldn't get laid if you showed up at a women's prison with a briefcase full of pardons.
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Old 10-18-2012, 10:14 AM   #138
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Saw this in a stall at JC Penny's in Omaha about 60 years ago. Probably the first bad words I ever saw.

"People who write on sxxxhouse walls roll their s... into little balls.
People who read these words of wit, eat those little balls of s..."

Also from a wall in RVN - "The wind doesn't blow in Viet Nam, it sucks."
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Old 10-18-2012, 11:17 AM   #139
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"It is never too late to be what you might have been." George Eliot
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Old 10-18-2012, 12:47 PM   #140
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lgarcia View Post
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." George Eliot
Ha! Little did she know about studliness!
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