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Old 08-28-2012, 08:15 PM   #15
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Busier than a one arm paper hanger.

Be all over you like white on rice.

Be all over you like ugly on an ape.

Messier than a soup sandwich.

I am not arguing with you...I am just explaining why I am right.

Ken
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Old 08-28-2012, 08:28 PM   #16
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Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Happy as a tornado in a trailer park.

Happy as a kitten under a leaky cow.

Busy as a one-armed paper hanger in a stiff breeze.

Hot enough to fry the fur off a frog.

Cold enough to freeze the fur off a frog.

Slick as snot on a broom handle.

Saying someone has a fulfilled Oedipal Complex is a serious insult.

Slow as a dead turtle with four broken legs.

I have a good memory; it's just short.

Raining cats and dogs with a few mice thrown in to liven things up.

More terms for a hard rain are a toad springer and a gully washer.

As my Daddy used to always say sometimes, "My tired hurts!"

Open up a can of whup-a**.

Hot flash = Personal Summer (who was the moron who named it a flash, anyway?)

I'm still HOT but now the hot comes in flashes.
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:05 PM   #17
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Slicker than snot on a door knob
busier than a one armed man in a wind storm
up a creek in a crocheted canoe
finer than frog fur
it's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
a stopped clock is right twice a day
a blind hog will eventually find an acorn.
Honk if you love Jesus, text if you wanna meet Him.
When a man eats a chicken, one of them is sick.
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:14 PM   #18
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The dog would have caught the rabbit too if he didn't stop for a sh-t.
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Old 08-29-2012, 01:45 AM   #19
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Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
OR
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
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Old 08-29-2012, 04:41 AM   #20
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Life is what happens when we are busy making plans.

Yesterday is gone , and Tomorrow is yet to come, Live for today.

Never criticize anyone till you have walked a mile in their shoe's,
because by then your a mile away and you have their shoes.
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Old 08-29-2012, 05:03 AM   #21
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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice.... Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it!
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:16 AM   #22
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We grow old too soon and smart too late...
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:49 AM   #23
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"Make Dust, or Eat it" LtCol Chuck Depreker's favorite saying.

Happy Trails
Jim
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:56 AM   #24
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance. Phyliss Diller

All hat and no cattle. (referring to a Wyoming city cowboy)
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Old 08-29-2012, 07:04 AM   #25
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A man who farts in church sits in his own pew.
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Old 08-29-2012, 08:25 AM   #26
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IM NOT LAUGHING AT YA , IM LAUGHING WITH YA.

WE PEARL THE WISDOM.

GODS GONNA GET YOU.

FAILURE TO PLAN ON YOUR PART,DOESN'T CONSTITUTE AN EMERGENCY ON MINE.

A CHAIN IS AS STRONG AS ITS WEAKEST LINK.

HALF PAST A MONKEYS A-- AND A QUARTER TILL ITS MOON.

DUMBER THEN A BOX OF ROCKS.

SHES WOUND UP TIGHTER THEN A TICK.

LORD WILLING AND THE CREEK DON'T RISE.

BEHIND EVERY GOOD MAN THERES A GOOD WOMAN.

BETWEEN A HARD PLACE AND A ROCK.

OLD AS DIRT.

WORTHLESS AS TITS ON A BORE HOG.

ELEVATOR DOESN'T GO ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP.

DEADER THEN A DOORNAIL.

YOUR BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE.

ILL BE YOUR HUCKLEBERRY.
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Old 08-29-2012, 09:20 AM   #27
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She's been rode hard & put up wet.

You can stick it where the sun don't shine.
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Old 08-29-2012, 10:19 AM   #28
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She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

He's not the sharpest pencil in the drawer.

The lights are on but nobody's home.

He's a few pickles short of a barrel.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

He's dummer than a bag of hammers.

She's a 3 dressed up as a 9.

Take me drunk I'm home.

START THE CAR!!! START THE CAR!!!
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