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Old 09-25-2006, 05:41 AM   #1
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Things I learned in Texas



*Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.



*There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas .



*There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas , plus a few no one has ever seen before.



*Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe.



*If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!



*Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.



*There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.



*A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.





*Onced and twiced are words.



*Coldbeer is one word



*People actually grow and eat okra.



*Green grass DOES burn.



*When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night



*The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.



*When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.



*Fix-in-to is one word.



*There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.



*"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two. You also give it to babies for colic..Just a tid-bit



*"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.



*"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"



*You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.



*You measure distance in minutes or hours.



*You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.



*Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.



*You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time of the year.



*All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.



*You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.



*You carry jumper cables for your own car.



*You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.



*You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco .



*You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.



*The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.



*The first day of deer season is a state holiday.



*



*You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.



*The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.



*You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.



*Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world"



*You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.



*A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.



*Texans understand these jokes. If you don't just come and stay awhile.
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Old 09-25-2006, 05:41 AM   #2
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Vintage RV Owners Club
Texas Boomers Club
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Full Time, TX Home Base
Posts: 17,150
Blog Entries: 21
Things I learned in Texas



*Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.



*There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas .



*There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas , plus a few no one has ever seen before.



*Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe.



*If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!



*Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.



*There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.



*A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.





*Onced and twiced are words.



*Coldbeer is one word



*People actually grow and eat okra.



*Green grass DOES burn.



*When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night



*The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.



*When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.



*Fix-in-to is one word.



*There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.



*"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two. You also give it to babies for colic..Just a tid-bit



*"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.



*"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"



*You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.



*You measure distance in minutes or hours.



*You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.



*Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.



*You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time of the year.



*All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.



*You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.



*You carry jumper cables for your own car.



*You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.



*You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco .



*You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.



*The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.



*The first day of deer season is a state holiday.



*



*You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.



*The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.



*You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.



*Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world"



*You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.



*A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.



*Texans understand these jokes. If you don't just come and stay awhile.
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Old 09-25-2006, 07:52 AM   #3
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I can understand, I like it and I'm not from TEXAS.
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Old 09-25-2006, 08:22 AM   #4
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LOL
I also understand and I'm from Va.
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Old 09-27-2006, 01:35 PM   #5
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Man, I talk it everyday.
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Old 09-28-2006, 12:41 PM   #6
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What's NOT to LUV about Tejas'?

From Florida, sitting in Alabama, headn' to Texas TOMORROW, Tomorrow, Tomorrow!
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Old 09-28-2006, 01:55 PM   #7
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Yup, itsall true.
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Old 09-28-2006, 04:49 PM   #8
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I must have spent to much time in the south and in TX, cause I understood all of them.
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Old 10-24-2006, 02:44 AM   #9
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Great post, Ken.

But then, I'm not really sure why you did it, aren't those facts obvious to everyone?
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