Hi Jeff, had similar issues with my first toad, 2003 Saturn LW300. I bought the arm extender and the seat face plate from blue Ox per their recommendation.
I never could get it to work as advertised. Even the local blue Ox dealer couldn't help. We were always having to stop readjust and reset it. The one time I didn't it was a $1600 lesson after the $400 tow bill.
I know several people on this forum have not had issues, but I sold the car and gave them the Patriot. I purchased the SMI Stay N Play and no longer aggravated with aux braking device.
Good luck and I hope you can figure out how to make it work.
Tom and Gloria
2007 Itasca Suncruiser 35A, TOAD: 2015 GMC Canyon, Blue Ox Towbar, Baseplate and SMI Stay N Play