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Old 10-22-2014, 06:50 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by Firebug5 View Post
After falling into the same situation as you folks, with me being the one living like your hubby, my wife gave me a big hug one day, and asked me how she could get the "Old Bruce" back? I thought about it, then heard a movie quote from Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living, or get busy dying". Wow, that hit me hard. I chose to get busy living, and now she tells me "You chose WISELY"!
Indeed you did choose wisely. I tell him we'll be dead a long time so we need to live NOW. To enjoy ourselves while we can before we're too old or illness befalls one of us. It falls on deaf ears. He claims he's not depressed and doesn't seem to be, but lacks interest or enthusiasm for anything that takes a little effort. He's changed so much in the last few years I sometimes wonder if he's the same man I married or a "Pod" person from outer space.

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Life is too damn short, my wife was almost killed by a drunk driver, then almost died from Lyme disease that was misdiagnosed and caused a stroke along with cardiac dysrhythmias, THEN was T-boned at a highway intersection by a construction truck! All of these occurred within a 3-year period. She wants to live SO BAD, really enjoys life, and it has almost been taken away so many times. Well, that is our story, and it worked for us.

Good luck and God bless!

Bruce
That's just awful. I hope you've both totally recovered by now. Again, life is short and you did choose wisely. We only get one go-around so have to make the best of it.
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Old 10-22-2014, 07:01 AM   #16
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That would be tough. Hubby and I do hang out in the MH in the evenings, but during the day, we hike or just check out the area. We like to go, go, go!
In the evenings I don't mind so much as after dinner and a walk I'm usually ready to sit by a fire and just enjoy some company. Sometimes just sit and read or get online. During the day he'll go to WalMart every few days for supplies but has little to no interest in checking anything out anywhere we go. We took that trip out west in May and he couldn't rush me fast enough to head back home to TN. He was constantly pushing me to hurry hurry hurry - he had very little interest in the wonders of the west. We missed so many things I wanted to see in Yellowstone and the area around the Grand Canyon. I wanted to revisit some of the places I saw in the 1970s with my ex-husband and things I missed on "that" trip. We didn't even stop at the other NPs. I'm bitterly disappointment as I looked forward to the trip for 2 years. Spent all that money and all that time on the Dutchman. It was supposed to last 4 to 6 weeks. We were back here in 20 days. As you can tell I'm having some trouble dealing with this.....
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Old 10-22-2014, 07:12 AM   #17
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Sounds like my wife! We get somewhere, I do most of the setup, then all she wants to do is sit inside and watch TV. Her health is poor, if she stays outside very much she gets ear aches and maybe a cold.
Then it's understandable. When someone doesn't feel well it can be hard to be enthused about things. She can always wear one of those hats that cover her ears and wrap in a blanket if it's chilly outside. But if she's watching TV that can't be much fun for you.

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I was raised going RV'ing and enjoy it, her, not so much. The I end up doing all most all the teardown and have always done all the driving although right now her medical conditions keep her from driving anything.
I'm sorry your wife is not well. She may not be able to do more than she's doing now. One thing is we do share the set-up and tear-down equally. We both load and unload after a camp-out or trip. I usually get finished inside before he's done outside, so I go out and help him while my coffee perks. This Class-C is so much easier to set up and tear-down than the TT. No comparison. I can't even lift the WDH or get the anti-sway bars on the TT's hitch.

I am the one stuck doing all the cleaning however. The TT takes 2 afternoons to thouroughly clean after use. The CC only 3 to 4 hours.
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Old 10-22-2014, 09:15 AM   #18
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Camping (even in an RV) is not for everyone. As much as I look forward to at least part timing I can't imagine choosing that over my wife's wishes.
If your hubby is just as disconnected at home than all you can do is make the best of it.
Many women are solo'ing now. Maybe if your husband knew that you accept him for just going with you. He would be there to help setup and to make you feel safe. He doesn't want to do the other stuff. You can still invite people to the campfire. You can still do the day trips. You can still fish and watch the stars and ......
The bitterness is coming out in your post and if you can't manage a change in mindset than you will soon be truely "solo'ing.
I hope you're able to come up with something that works for the both of you.
Good luck.
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Old 10-22-2014, 09:23 AM   #19
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It sounds like your DH is disconnecting from life in general, some might call it depression. His lack of enthusiasm for RVing is the most obvious example to you that something is wrong. Might think about having a talk with his doctor. Hopefully you both can sort this out together.
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Old 10-23-2014, 03:43 AM   #20
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Camping (even in an RV) is not for everyone. As much as I look forward to at least part timing I can't imagine choosing that over my wife's wishes.
If your hubby is just as disconnected at home than all you can do is make the best of it.
It looks that way.

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Many women are solo'ing now. Maybe if your husband knew that you accept him for just going with you. He would be there to help setup and to make you feel safe.
As already posted, we BOTH set-up and tear-down. No use repeating what was already posted.

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He doesn't want to do the other stuff. You can still invite people to the campfire.
It doesn't work that way anymore. At least not in the local COE CGs here. Couples tend to stay to themselves and with the family members they go camping with.

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You can still do the day trips. You can still fish and watch the stars and ......
He has no interest in fishing, swimming, hiking, photography, outdoor cooking or looking at the stars.

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The bitterness is coming out in your post and if you can't manage a change in mindset than you will soon be truely "solo'ing.
I hope you're able to come up with something that works for the both of you.
Good luck.
Thanks. Bitterness and disappointment are hard to hide forever. I'm finding that out. I'm not bitter at him as he is what he is. People change over time. I'm just getting frustrated because I can't change anything living here.
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Old 10-23-2014, 04:02 AM   #21
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It sounds like your DH is disconnecting from life in general, some might call it depression.
I'm not sure this is depression. It's really hard to describe. He's always been one to tire of things quickly, but this is a little different. I think he would be happy to sell both RVs and be left to his TV and PC, go out to eat once in awhile and not have to deal with anything anymore. He reminds me of someone in their 90s if you can understand what I'm saying. His health is good otherwise and the medication takes care of the fibromyalgia pain. I'm starting to feel I'm just here because I'm here. I feel he's disconnecting from me also. God help us both is this is something more sinister.

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His lack of enthusiasm for RVing is the most obvious example to you that something is wrong. Might think about having a talk with his doctor. Hopefully you both can sort this out together.
I already did that and the Dr changed his pain medications. It allowed him to focus better on his driving - but otherwise didn't help.
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Old 10-23-2014, 07:01 AM   #22
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Sorry if I was too harsh. Please accept my apoligies.

As long as you're together there is at least a bit of hope. Many of us our at least partially losing our loved ones to FB or some other website. It's much easier to do nothing and just sit at a screen. Not too rewarding at all and it would drive me crazy. My wife knows she's on a path that has to change when it comes to the virtual garage sites, and Facebook, etc. My wife retired a year ago and both her schedule and energy levels have gotten worse. We used to walk, ride bicycles, play tennis and generally just do more. I'm hoping we'll find thing to do together as we get older and have much more time.
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Old 10-28-2014, 03:49 PM   #23
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Sorry if I was too harsh. Please accept my apoligies.

As long as you're together there is at least a bit of hope. Many of us our at least partially losing our loved ones to FB or some other website. It's much easier to do nothing and just sit at a screen. Not too rewarding at all and it would drive me crazy. My wife knows she's on a path that has to change when it comes to the virtual garage sites, and Facebook, etc. My wife retired a year ago and both her schedule and energy levels have gotten worse. We used to walk, ride bicycles, play tennis and generally just do more. I'm hoping we'll find thing to do together as we get older and have much more time.
No need to apologize.

We all have to find our way through these retirement years. Hitting a few bumps along the way it probably inevitable.
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Old 10-29-2014, 05:52 PM   #24
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please have his testosterone checked. im new and havent posted. i am a pastor and see this all the time...

this is classic low testosterone... this is just my opinion from life experience. it change my life.. (has nothing to do with the stereo type thinking)

praying
Brother Frankie
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