Full-time alone or stay married ????

[SoonToBeFT]

I wholeheartedly agree with SpaceNorman here, "if" this was all discussed upfront before forming a solid committed long term relationship and it was known was the ultimate goal and according to the OP "agreed to".

Fair comment if she were to turn around and say "hunny, I'm sorry, emotionally in me things have changed, and I just can't give up my home base environment totally, can we discuss a compromise". However, to say "I was just humouring you", personally I think that's a very bad thing to hear in any "good solid" relationship.

Sounds like possibly there's a lot more issues "maybe" in this relationship than just the fact of going FT RVing or not. I'm a go for it and what will be will be type of person, my wife is a worry wart about everything, but she's been that way since I met her at 18, so I accepted and expected her swings back and forth on keeping a home base when in the past many years we've discussed going FT. We have found a good compromise to start Full Timing in a year or less now, and the "nothing is forever, grab each opportunity whilst we can" mentality has kicked in.

Think we also need to keep in mind that this appears to be a short term marriage not several decades, so there might be a lot of other issues surrounding that aren't forthcoming, so most comments here are based on the very limited info asked by the OP.

Good luck to you with whatever decision you make, just remember this life isn't a dress rehearsal, we only get one crack at it

[j88hynes]

Far from a therapist myself, but if this is going to be a touchy subject maybe a separation may be on order. Just make sure that it won't put a financial strain on your "dream" of full-time rving.

[pasdad1]

You are both still quite young.....maybe she would miss seeing her friends or your kids. My suggestion is to do lots of small trips for a few years to give things time to work out. Compromise by giving her the choice of where you go in the RV.....maybe she prefers more excitement instead of solitude in the woods.

[Arizona]

After the kids leave it will be them coming back to live with you, needing help, or grandkids. We are hunters and they are nesters. I don't think she will change. Maybe you can go and she can stay for a while to see how you both feel. Maybe she wants concessions right out of the gate. I know you can dry camp about 4 times longer if your by yourself.

[Old-Biscuit]

Total stranger asking total strangers personal relationship advice ???

I just don't get this 'social' aspect of the internet.

Go see your pastor, priest, rabi, fortune teller or a professional marriage counselor.

At least THEY can sit down with you (and wife if at all possible) face to face and gave discussion

But via internet and on an RV Forum no less.

I'm simply amazed and slightly sad.........

[JFXG]

Originally Posted by worleybyrd

....... Do i stay with the plan and see her when ever I'm back in town or do i give up the plan???......

Seriously? Do you remember what you said the day you married? Fancy words, but simply put, you said 'No matter how tough it gets, I'm with you'.

You're the grown-up in this show. You know the answer. Don't ask a bunch of strangers to make excuses for you.


John & Diane, fulltiming since '12 02 DS, FL, Cat330, '04 Element NHSO RVM103

[Dtwallace]

We all have opinions and since you asked, here’s mine right or wrong.


I think the marriage was on it’s way out when she decided to just humor you in your dream.


I would never disrespect my spouse like that seeing how her heart was set on something that was obviously a very important item on the bucket list.


Then the questions come in, where will you two be in your relationship in five years from now, if you last that long?


Is this a sign of more disappointment to come?


Yes marriage is not to be taken lightly, but it seems to me someone in your relationship has done just that by being not untrue physically, but untrue mentally.


We can be hurt in so many ways, hurting and deceiving ones spouse has destroyed many marriages.


No marriage is perfect, but we work together in the relationship to make it work, lying to each other is not working together.


You were lied to, you are hurt, your dream just got flushed like sewage and possibly there are more disappoints to come.


This is just my personal assessment, and no way represents a professional counsel. This is what you get on an open forum, on a subject that should not be asked here. Just friendly 2ct opinions, that’s all it’s worth.





Sorry


DTW

[markandkim]

Remember the key to life is happiness. if you're not happy, you won't last long. I would remove all the stress by heading out ASAP.

We just don't have the time for this. LIVE!

You asked.

[Skeetobite]

Our society has evolved into one where everything is disposable. Perhaps except for those things we value. Some people discard relationships at the same rate they haul their trash to the curb.

When I got married 25 years ago, I knew that the kids would come and go. We have had the great careers, owned businesses, bought mansions, yachts, motorcycles and muscle cars. All of them have come and gone. But my best friend, lover, helper and partner in life is still beside me. I knew that through it all she would be by my side.

The most important question lies in what you value most. Let that question guide you as you go. The path we walk in life should not be littered with the names of people we used to know and discarded relationships that became burdensome or difficult.

The decision is yours alone to make and no stranger on the internet is going to stand by you after you make it. Choose wisely.

[raytwntrvlr]

Prolly should just leave her home to manage your several rental properties.

[steve11669]

Yeah right. I can tell your question was not contemplative. There's nothing thoughtful about it.

Hey , it entertained me too but I'm retired and have plenty of free time to waste so I don't mind you being silly.

So in your fanacy, I would say you should be a husband and father and do whatever is best for the family.

[computerguy]

Originally Posted by NLOVNIT

I do want to caution the OP we aren't marriage counselors here, we're RV'rs. Relationship advice probably isn't our forte, albiet given with the best of intentions. This may just be a situation best left to a professional therapist. JMO

Lori-

Some good advice on this thread and also some not so good advice.
I agree with Lori on this though.
I'm divorced (long long time ago) but can say a counselor was very helpful in the process and recovery.
I wouldn't come to a online forum for that type of advice. Pastor, priest, friends who know me, counselor? Yes.

Full time is not for everyone for sure. It is a different lifestyle. Have a discussion with your SO and talk through why things changed.
I go full time next year. I want to do it. I am excited to do it. I am also afraid of the changes it will bring. No S&B anymore. I can't keep everything. Selling it all (ok, not all, but certainly most) of my accumulated possessions from my 51 years on this here earth. I'm a pack rat and had my baby shoes and even the first check I wrote (well, not any more. I am purging stuff daily now as I prepare for next year). Craigslist, the recycling center, good will and the garbage are weekly events for me now. Understand your SO may have fears and concerns.
Best of luck and hope it all works out happily for both of you.

[Podivin]

We all can't even agree on what's the 'best' RV, or shocks, or color scheme, or type of camping or, or, or... - how the heck are we supposed to answer a question like this?!?

[Dr. Q]

Well, I am a Dr. after all.... So here's the deal.

If you have to come on a public forum to ask a question like that, maybe YOU are the problem; not your wife.

Just saying . . . .