Me and Wayne

[mick]

In the Beginning

"In the beginning was the word and the word was God. In the beginning was God and all else was darkness and void, and without form, so God created the heavens and earth. He created the sun and the moon and the stars, so light might pierce the darkness. The Earth, God divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with many assorted creatures. The dark, salty, slimy, creatures which inhabited the murky depths of the ocean he called Sailors.
God dressed them accordingly, they had little trousers that had bells at the bottom and their shirts had cute little flaps on them and they wore funny looking hats. He gave them long sideburns and beards and nicknamed them "squids". They were banished to a lifetime at sea so normal folks would not have to associate with them. To fully identify these unloved creatures, he called them "petty" and "commodore" instead of titles worthy of red blooded men. The flaky creatures of the land God called soldiers, and with a twinkle in the eye and a sense of humor only God could have made their trousers to short and there covers to large.
He made their pockets oversized so they could warm their hands. To adorn their uniforms God gave them badges in quantities only a dime store owner could appreciate. He gave them emblems and crest and all kinds of shiny things that glittered. (When you are God you tend to get carried away) On the sixth day God thought of creating some air creatures for which he designed a greyhound bus uniform. He discarded the idea during the first week, and it wasn't until years later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now know as the "wild blue yonder wonders".
On the seventh day as you know God rested. On the 8th day at 0530, God looked down upon the Earth and was not happy. God was just not happy !! He thought about his labors and in his divine wisdom, God created a divine creature. This creature he called "Marine" and the Marines, God created in his own image were to be of the air ,land, and sea. God gave them wonderful uniforms, some were green and some were blue with red trim. In the early days some uniforms were a beautiful tan. He gave them pracitical fighting uniforms to wage war against Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for there daily work and training. He gave them evening and dress uniforms...sharp and stylish. He also gave them swords so people who were not impressed could be dealt with accordingly. On the 8th day God looked down upon Earth and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No God was still not happy, because in the course of his labors he forgot one thing, he did not have a uniform for himself. He thought about it and thought about it and finally satisfied himself in knowing that well......Not everyone can be a Marine!!!!

[Wayne M]

I love it every time I read it.

[Seajay]

Well said my friend but you forgot one really important thing.
Yes God created the Marines and then in his wisdom he wanted to give them some really simple tasks to keep them busy so he assigned them to the greatest fighting group he ever created and that was the U.S. Navy. God placed these Marines on Navy ships to carry baggage for our officers and to guard our upper officers from all harm and to fetch coffee for the Navy officers upon command. God assigned these Marines really complicated task like ''Keeping that chow line straight you stinkin Squids'' and ''I'm guardin' this here gang plank and aint no body gonna' steal it'' and very few gang planks have ever been stolen from a Navy ship. (everyone knows that there is a rash of gang plank thefts goin' around most of the time)
God seen that he needed to make his Marines feel important so he let the Navy personnel promote the Marines to ''Brig Guards''. This is a really complicated job and it usually takes a Marine two months to learn all the commands like ''halt'', ''forward march'' and other two word commands and to ''not to lock himself in the cell with the prisoner on the outside of the cell door''.......
God did give our Navy's Marine one great skill. Most all of them can shoot their weapon and everyone to march in the same direction and count to four, beginning with ''Hup'' . They spend years shooting and marching and counting to four and being in servitude to My Navy on Navy ships and being a very tiny part of My Navy, the greatest fighting force IN THE WORLD......

Now that i got you straightened out there my Marine friends, you know it is all in fun 'cause we would have a hard time doing without you guys as helpers in My Navy.........lol.....
nuff said for now ....

[Wayne M]

Ah! Seajay! How wrong you are. I served two years on the USS Eldorado (AGC-11) as Ships Company. You know what that is right? We were in the front of the chow line, never had to march anyone anywhere. (Sailors don't know how to march anyhow) Never stood brig guard or any line, and we were taught those little words before we went aboard ship because we knew sailors only know little words. Hup is just to get their attention. Once you reach 2 they forgot what the first word was, and so forth. And the only reason we had to salute the OOD was to keep him active so he would stay awake. Of course, we always salute the Ensign.

Oh! I was "radio" gang, and you well know what that is.

Did I ever tell you about the target practice. Navy would throw empty 50 gallon drums over board and try to hit them with the 40 mm's. At the end of their practice the Marines would be called on deck with their M1's to sink the drums.

[bigskymt]

I remember the story in a different way and couldn't resist a Snoops search. Lucky for the Marines Snoops can't search that far back.
The way I heard the story after God created the Marines He went forward many decades and finally decided not everyone WANTED to be a Marine.
As the story continues the Marines were created because they were afraid to fly so they were put on a leaky ship to keep the Snipes company.
Once they (finally) arrived at the AO the Army had already secured the area and was chasing the enemy leaving the Marines with a safe LZ to protect for the Army Huey Pilots.
(Snoops couldn't verify my version either.)

[Seajay]

Note to bigskymt. Use smaller words friend. (nothing over five letters) and type real slow or you will lose them in the dust. (lol) and remember this. The Marine Corp is a small outfit that is part of My Navy. My Navy gives them ''purpose'' and cause for existence and we keep them because they are easier to maintain than a Girl Scout Troop.
(for the citizens reading this, we are now engaged in inner service ''jabbing''. we do this in friendly rivalry among the services as to see which service is exactly whom is best, meanest, ugliest, prettiest, strongest and whom is the most full of ''bull stuff''. it could be considered ''sword fighting'' with rubber swords and then going out for a beer later and lieing about ''who won the sword fight''. Obviously ''bigskymt'' is a dog face, mud shoe, ground pounding, candy butt soldier boy but I aint holding that against him. not everyone can be a Navy Man.) (no, i aint taking the Marine side in this, I am just staying in practice for later)

Veterans gave us freedom. Some died in the process. Just say ''Thank you Veteran for your sacrifice for me''........ (think about it).....cj...

[mick]

How the military branches are viewed
How the military branches are viewed

[mick]

[Seajay]

i see mick the Marine has been drinkin' his own bathwater again ......
STOP IT mick. you are pickling your brain.....lol...

Vets are the best ......... thank um for your freedoms ......cj....

[Wayne M]

Bigskymt,
No wonder you couldn't find it.

It's not Snoops.

It's Snopes. (One "o" and an "e".)

Go search some more.

Yep Seajay, I got a nasty gram about this once before but I will not reply if I get one again.

Yep, we are a department of the navy. The "Men's" department. And, the Marine Corps is to the navy what the handle is to the bed chamber pot. We're attached to it, not in it.

Everyone else not involved with this thread, read what Seajay posted about "jabbing."

p.s., Anyone taking offense can go pee up a rope.

[bigskymt]

Thanks Wayne for the "Snopes": I guess Seajay was right. On those small words without multiple letters (and typing very slow) you Marines have really advanced in your "book learnin'".
I researched Snoops, Snopes, Snipes and assorted Marine spellings and learned the following:
The first Marines were indeed afraid to fly and were sent to combat on sometimes leaky ships. The real Sailors didn't want to associate with "wanna be sailors" that couldn't walk on deck in a rough sea without a real Sailor to hang on to so they confined them to below deck duty with the Snipes.
The Navy went so far as to have two calls for "overboard"........"Man overboard" meant a real Sailor had fallen overboard and everyone jumped to action. "Marine overboard" meant go about your normal business and pick him up on the return trip. He'd still be floating and trying to blend with his surroundings (water) in jungle cammies.
I also learned the difference between "Blue Water Navy" and "Brown Water Navy". Brown Water Navy meant a load of Marines on board. I can only guess what turned the water brown but think it might be related to the previously mentioned "Marine overboard"
Thankfully the Army has always been a "First Responder". While the Marines eventually arrived at the Theater of Ops (That means "got there") they were two-three months closer to DEROS.

In all Honesty the 1st Marines saved my sorry Army butt north of DaNang in April, 1971. A debt I will never be able to repay.

[Wayne M]

ARMY

"A"in't "R"eally a "M"arine "Y"et

[W4RLR]

My father was a Marine. I doubt that the Marines were afraid to fly. To hear my father tell it, members of the USMC could jump out of perfectly good airplanes sans parachutes, and land unscathed, ready to fight.

[mick]

A good, smart Marine will NEVER jump out of a perfectly good airplane.