A question for the womens!

[Itchytoe]

I'm a full time solo RVer kind of guy. When looking around online for anything related to solo RVing, I seem to get a ton of "Is it safe for a solo female?" or "Solo boondocking for a female..." or "What it's like to be a solo female RVer" or any other "as a solo female" articles and videos. What I don't see are things like "Is it safe for a solo male?" or "Solo boondocking for a male..." I never see "as a solo male" specific videos or posts. This seems very strange to me.

I really don't see a difference between men and women in terms of what they can and can't do with an RV. It seems to me that if women and men are both capable of essentially the same thing when it comes to solo RVing, then there wouldn't be such a big deal made over women who are solo RVers. Why be a *woman* solo RVer when you can just be a solo RVer? Why the need for the woman specific language?

I guess what I'm trying to get at is this: Are you a solo RVer, or a *woman* solo RVer, and why?

[Cherilanet]

I am a solo rv'er who is female. I would think that the solo male rv'er would appreciate the separation of some of the feeds that get started on the subject. I feel that some of the insecurities and fears I have are due to being a woman and I appreciate the feed back from someone who may have experienced those feelings. I love the solo rv sites and like to get the information there as well, but I do feel that men and women have different issues to deal with too.

[Itchytoe]

Originally Posted by Cherilanet

I am a solo rv'er who is female. I would think that the solo male rv'er would appreciate the separation of some of the feeds that get started on the subject. I feel that some of the insecurities and fears I have are due to being a woman and I appreciate the feed back from someone who may have experienced those feelings. I love the solo rv sites and like to get the information there as well, but I do feel that men and women have different issues to deal with too.

I can understand and appreciate some of the male and female specific stuff, but not nearly to the extent that I seem to find it. Let me give an example of what I'm talking about. I just googled "problems for female solo RVers" and the first site lists advice for women traveling alone. When I click the link, it takes about problems and solutions that have absolutely nothing to do with women. It's just general advice.



Keep your phone charged, don't let strangers into you RV, learn basic maintenance and repair skills, lock your windows and doors, etc. Even the problems they list have nothing to do with women. Truck stops and rest areas are dangerous (which actually isn't true, they are extremely safe. Truckers are some of the nicest people on this planet), long trips can be lonely and boring, it's hard to get help if you're sick or injured, etc. It all applies to everyone equally. Men get lonely and bored just as much as women, are actually more likely the target of violent crime, and have the same difficulties finding help if sick or injured as a woman.


Help me see it from your perspective. What insecurities and fears do you have about it because you're a woman? What problems are there for you that I wouldn't have just because you're a woman and I'm a man?

[MrsChilerick]

I can’t help you out, I’m a woman that agrees with you. I’m an RVer my gender as well as any other demographic box someone wants to put me in, is irrelevant.

[scbwr]

Any solo person traveling in an RV needs to use the same precautions and "common" sense regarding staying where it's safe, getting the heck out if something seems wrong, keep an eye out for weirdos.....etc. I honestly feel that a lot of folks that rv are great people and are very willing to help and watch out for others. If anyone wants to pursue the RV lifestyle, they should do it....just learn what you need to and be a little "street savvy".

[Cherilanet]

I respond to this with a lot of hesitation because I feel that what I feel could be taken wrong. I think all of us need to stick together to make this lifestyle safe and fun for men and women solos, families, retirees and working folk. I think anything I say further would only be opening up an argument.

[Itchytoe]

Oh, I get the impression that I totally misunderstood you. Sorry

[oatmeal]

I'm a very ardent feminist, so I agree with the notion that men and women are capable of the same things. However, there is the opposite side of that--vulnerability.

Let's use a rest area as an example. RVers who have a trailer have to go from the vehicle to the trailer to have dinner or take a nap or whatever. In general, a woman who does that by herself is more vulnerable than a man who does it by himself.

Plus, when it comes to exposure to crime, women are vastly more subject to sexual assault by a stranger than men are, so that's a possible crime to be committed against a person that men don't even have to think about.

You said men are more likely to be targets of violent crime, but what situations does that cover? If the crime happens during a fight, or as a result of a fight, for example, then men are definitely more likely to be a victim than women are for the simple reason that far more men fight than women. If you take away that type of situation, and are talking about truly random violent crime, then I'm not sure men are that much more likely to be targets.

I think also at play are societal attitudes, and women are still often considered to be helpless and not just vulnerable. Women have advanced in that respect faster than society's opinion has. Maybe one day they'll meet.

In the meantime, we'll have to put up with advice targeted at women that applies equally to men. It probably produces more clicks, too, and that's what's really important these days.

[Mr.Mark]

I get a kick of people who say, "he's a male nurse". A nurse is a nurse is a nurse. LOL

I'm an accountant but I think calling a nurse 'male' is funny. You don't call female nurses "a female nurse".

And, I agree with the original poster, we are all in this RV life together (I'm not a full-timer).

Mark

[MrsChilerick]

There is no reason to believe that women are more “vulnerable” by virtue of their gender. I’m seriously offended by that statement. Women are equally able to ensure that they can defend themselves and be safe. A woman walking back to their trailer is only more vulnerable than a man in the same situation, if she hasn’t taken the responsibility to make sure she’s prepared. No different than a man. Because society considers me to be helpless, doesn’t make me helpless.

[oatmeal]

Originally Posted by Mr.Mark

I get a kick of people who say, "he's a male nurse". A nurse is a nurse is a nurse. LOL

I'm an accountant but I think calling a nurse 'male' is funny. You don't call female nurses "a female nurse".

It's just because it's out of the norm, as the vast majority of nurses were, and still are, women. It wasn't so long ago that it was common to refer to "lady lawyers."

Originally Posted by MrsChilerick

There is no reason to believe that women are more “vulnerable” by virtue of their gender. I’m seriously offended by that statement. Women are equally able to ensure that they can defend themselves and be safe. A woman walking back to their trailer is only more vulnerable than a man in the same situation, if she hasn’t taken the responsibility to make sure she’s prepared. No different than a man. Because society considers me to be helpless, doesn’t make me helpless.

"Vulnerable" is not the same as "helpless."

In a situation where someone in a rest area wants to attack someone walking back to a trailer, is the attacker more likely to attack a man or a woman?

What happens after that, like whether the victim happens to be trained in the martial arts or carrying a switchblade, has nothing to do with being more or less likely to be chosen as an intended victim, which is where the vulnerability lies.

[Itchytoe]

Originally Posted by oatmeal

Let's use a rest area as an example. RVers who have a trailer have to go from the vehicle to the trailer to have dinner or take a nap or whatever. In general, a woman who does that by herself is more vulnerable than a man who does it by himself.

I don't see how. According to US FBI crime statistics, men are both more likely to be the victims of violent crime and are less likely to be aided during or after such an incident. Women are statistically less vulnerable than men in the situation you described. Do women just not feel safe? Where are you getting your information? I would honestly like to see it.

Plus, when it comes to exposure to crime, women are vastly more subject to sexual assault by a stranger than men are, so that's a possible crime to be committed against a person that men don't even have to think about.

WHOA! Slow down there. Women are significantly more likely to be sexually assaulted by someone they know than by a stranger. Quite literally, your boyfriend is more of a danger to you than that strange guy at the rest stop. You are statistically safer with that strange guy (who most likely wants nothing to do with you) than you are with your own boyfriend. If you feel safe with your boyfriend, you should feel safer alone at a rest stop, because you are.

You said men are more likely to be targets of violent crime, but what situations does that cover? If the crime happens during a fight, or as a result of a fight, for example, then men are definitely more likely to be a victim than women are for the simple reason that far more men fight than women. If you take away that type of situation, and are talking about truly random violent crime, then I'm not sure men are that much more likely to be targets.

Men are more likely to be the targets of violent crimes *in all forms* except sexual assault. Even when you include sexual assaults, men are the victims of violent crimes more than women. That includes random acts of violence like the rest stop situation you described. The only time women are more likely the targets is when you look at only sexual assault. US FBI crime statistics bear that out for every year they have ever been reported. If you're worried about non-sexual violent crime, don't be. Your boyfriend is at a higher risk than you are. You being with him actually keeps him safe. He should thank you. If you're worried about sexual assault, then your boyfriend is more likely to be the perpetrator than anyone you don't know. Get rid of your boyfriend, and you'll be safer than any man in your same position.

I'm a very ardent feminist, so I agree with the notion that men and women are capable of the same things. However, there is the opposite side of that--vulnerability.
.....

I think also at play are societal attitudes, and women are still often considered to be helpless and not just vulnerable. Women have advanced in that respect faster than society's opinion has. Maybe one day they'll meet.

Now wait a minute! You can't have it both ways. Seriously, you can't say men and women are capable of the same things, but that women need protection and have to worry about assaults from random strangers, and aren't as safe as men in the same situation... Which one is it? If women and men are equal, then they should worry about the same things. If one of them has to live in fear of being assaulted by random strangers while the other doesn't, then they aren't equal. Why would the people least likely to be assaulted worry about it the most?

In a situation where someone in a rest area wants to attack someone walking back to a trailer, is the attacker more likely to attack a man or a woman?

A man. Seriously. What you're describing is a blatant random act of violence. Men are more likely the target of that than women are. Situations like the one you're describing actually get played out in real life, and men are the victims far more than women.



I don't mean to single you out and I know it seems like that's what I'm doing. I really would like to get a better understanding of your position. I legitimately don't understand how you can think of men and women as equals, but also think that women need special protections and have to be afraid to walk from their truck to their trailer, and are less safe than a man in the same situation, etc. Can you show me your perspective?

[MrsChilerick]

”Vulnerable" is not the same as "helpless."

In a situation where someone in a rest area wants to attack someone walking back to a trailer, is the attacker more likely to attack a man or a woman?

What happens after that, like whether the victim happens to be trained in the martial arts or carrying a switchblade, has nothing to do with being more or less likely to be chosen as an intended victim, which is where the vulnerability lies.

“ “Vulnerable” - (of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability or risk of abuse or neglect”

Here’s the problem, you can’t have it both ways. Either you champion women and their abilities or you claim we are all victims in need of special care and treatment. Sadly, how you choose to portray women affects all of us.

In this case, the situation can happen to either a man or a woman. The discussion on how to protect yourself against the likelihood of that attack (or others) isn’t different because of your gender.

[oatmeal]

Originally Posted by Itchytoe

Women are statistically less vulnerable than men in the situation you described.

The situation I described is walking alone in a rest area. You have statistics on that, specifically?

Otherwise, general statistics on violent crime are going to include circumstances where men get into fights all the time with other men--bars, gang battles, drug deals, motorcycle club nonsense. It's usually men who initiate that, and who are the victims.

Here’s the problem, you can’t have it both ways. Either you champion women and their abilities or you claim we are all victims in need of special care and treatment.

I don't see it as an either/or, but instead an acknowledgement of reality.

I have a male friend who is about 6'3" and weighs probably around 250 pounds. He was talking about walking around New York City late at night, and he said some people he knew were alarmed, but his response was, "Look at me--who's going to mess with me?"

I have a female friend who's a black belt in karate. I once asked her what it feels like to walk around knowing she could take down anybody who messed with her, and she said she doesn't think about that, but instead stays very aware of her surroundings so that it never comes to that.

Same result for both people, but very different approaches, based on how they know they are perceived by possible perpetrators.