How long, do you think before I feel like going alone?

[Bayouslug]

I think small steps are great! I still have my spouse and I'm a female, but I made a solo trip from SE Texas to Colorado Springs to say farewell to a favorite Aunt this past spring. Women depend on their spouse for times of not only companionship but mechanical stuff too! It was a personal challenge to make the trip and it was fabulous! On the way back home I passed a elderly lady pulling a small RV, she was alone! I slowed down and took her picture because someday I want to be her!!! There are groups like her that travel around the US, some guy needs to start a single men's group and maybe y'all can hook up at camp grounds together make new friends that have the same love of RV'ing. I'm presently trying to talk my hubby into trading our horse trailer with living quarters in for a mini so I can go meet my kids with it when he can't go! For all you single people, start living again, your mate would want that, life is to short not to! Besides, they are with you by the spirit you carry of them in your heart!!!! Now, get a move on!!!

[Mr_D]

Originally Posted by Bayouslug

I think small steps are great! I still have my spouse and I'm a female, but I made a solo trip from SE Texas to Colorado Springs to say farewell to a favorite Aunt this past spring. Women depend on their spouse for times of not only companionship but mechanical stuff too! It was a personal challenge to make the trip and it was fabulous! On the way back home I passed a elderly lady pulling a small RV, she was alone! I slowed down and took her picture because someday I want to be her!!! There are groups like her that travel around the US, some guy needs to start a single men's group and maybe y'all can hook up at camp grounds together make new friends that have the same love of RV'ing. I'm presently trying to talk my hubby into trading our horse trailer with living quarters in for a mini so I can go meet my kids with it when he can't go! For all you single people, start living again, your mate would want that, life is to short not to! Besides, they are with you by the spirit you carry of them in your heart!!!! Now, get a move on!!!

Grandson that lives with me is going back to MN over the Christmas break so I made reservations to be near my daughter for that time. Have an invite to go to Idaho in June/July and also another one to go to MN for some of the summer. We had planned on joining the local FMCA Country Coach chapter but never did. Had the application and check made out. Will be doing that in November. Putting a new TV in the motorhome and new induction cooktop is ordered.
Cleaning the house up as we have stuff from when my parents passed, Cindy's parents passed, her daughter passed in 2008 and we have stuff left from her as well as the business we closed down in 2008 when the grandkids came to live with us.
Right now I need to keep busy or I start thinking too much and breakdown.
Took her unused transplant medication over to OHSU yesterday with the hope that they can use it for someone that can't afford it. One 60 pill bottle was $3,700+! I figure there was about $5000 worth of unopened meds.
Just sitting here having a cup of coffee before I attack the piles of stuff that go to the local Humane Society thrift store. We used to volunteer in the shelter, then I went on the Board of Directors and was head of the thrift store committee when the store opened.

Grief is not the process of forgetting, but remembering with less pain

[SoonToBeFT]

How our hearts go out to those that have lost their spouses of many years, and trying to find the ability to continue with ones own remaining life. Its hard for me, in fact both of us to comprehend how we would carry on ourselves - don't get me wrong, we are not joined at the hip so to speak, happily travel separately for weeks at a time enjoying different interests, but I rely on her for oh so much in our every day lives, as well all our route plannings and as my co-pilot beyond about a 50 mile radius of our home base here. This got me thinking about our own futures, however long they might still be, and what you might be able to share as some advice.

I met my wife when she was a mere 18 years of age, and we have been together as a couple over 34 years. We know too many regret what they haven't done than that what they have done but my DW is a worrier about financials but equally as much our health declining. Afraid of pulling the trigger too soon and running out of our investments we would be living on for the rest of our natural, she worries about not achieving some of the bucket list items we have had since we first met from the declining health issues front. Back, hips, diabetes, genetics = young loss (mid 50's & 60s) of both sets of our parents (2xCancer, 1xheart) that never got to see any form of retirement to talk about.

What regrets if any, did you have about not doing certain things with your spouse prior to health issues or other things prevented you from doing so?

What would you have done different, if you knew then what you know now so to speak.

What are you glad you did do and when did you do it, age wise?

What did you or would you sacrifice that you thought was most important at the time if you had the experience of "life" that you have now?

We are 53 and 60 years of age which whilst seems quite young, in many respects, doesn't seem that long in other respects, at least to us. We have both abused our bodies physically in construction, farming, stressful hours and so on trying to build a secure future in our younger years for this time of our lives.

We understand reading many that say do it as soon as you can, sooner rather than later, but ...... "how do you find that right balance between sensibility with compromising somewhat to leave earlier, and living life to the full on the whim of let the cards fall however they do"? None of us really know if we have next week never mind another three decades or more! This is not being helped right now as we have friend in hospital that has just had a heart attack and apparently he had another one he didn't know about prior, another friend just gone into Hospice with incurable brain cancer, another with flared up second round of prostate cancer thats gone skeletal now apparently and much more. Right now we are at that deer caught in the headlights stage.

Our condolences to all here on this thread, our heartfelt thoughts really go out to each and every one of you.

[Hudsoner]

My main advise is that you should hug your wife and tell her that you love her as often as you can. The day will come when you can't do this anymore!

The next advise is to take care of your health and well being as good as even possible, because that is what determines the quality of your life in a very few years from now.
After that comes retire as early as you can afford it. I was able to retire with 62, and I am now 73 and hope to have a few more years to do more things that I want to do.

[Titleman]

Originally Posted by Hudsoner

My main advise is that you should hug your wife and tell her that you love her as often as you can. The day will come when you can't do this anymore!

The next advise is to take care of your health and well being as good as even possible, because that is what determines the quality of your life in a very few years from now.
After that comes retire as early as you can afford it. I was able to retire with 62, and I am now 73 and hope to have a few more years to do more things that I want to do.

Well said Hudsoner. I lost my wife, best friend and traveling companion of 58 years about 15 months ago. When that time comes, I can attest to the fact that you will always wish you could tell her one more time how much you love her.

One other bit of advice I can share. When that time arrives and you are faced with many decisions about the rest of your life, take it slow and easy. I thought that I was doing just that and decided about 10 months after her death that perhaps I would be happy to buy a new Class C Motorhome and just make a few short trips and get away for a day or two once in a while. For me, it was the wrong decision. The last thing I would want to do is advise anyone that it would be a wrong move for them to do the same. Just saying ----I can't pull out of our drive without her.

Now I will be selling a brand new 2017 Jayco Greyhawk 29MV and a 2015 GMC Canyon dinghy that has never been used the first time.

I know there are folks out there who can solo and I sincerely wish them lots of happiness and the very best. Just be sure you can handle it and then go for it.

[Izzyblueye]

I completely agree with Titleman. I did the same thing and it did not work for me either. My wife was just way more of my life and enjoyment than I realized. Monetarily I took a big loss but I got rid of that awful loneliness out on the road and in RV parks. I made friends easily, but it was not the same. However, I in no way want to discourage any one else from trying to make it a go. I can see where it should work Ok, it just did not for me.

[LarryW21]

You will know when you are ready. Then go!

[mojoracing]

I stumbled on this thread by accident. Started reading a bit, maybe because I'm just getting to that age where you start thinking about these things. My wife and I will celebrate 24 years of marriage this year and RVing became our thing due to our kids racing motorcycles. Now that the racing has wound down, I talk to her about retiring early and full timing. Although she loves the motorhome and traveling and is fully capable and has gone cross country with just the kids, she is not as excited about full timing like I am. We have two in college and another with a year to go in high school. I think the thought of being an empty nester has her wanting to get a bigger home with the thoughts of the kids and someday grandkids coming to visit all the time. I try to warn her that this most likely wont be the case as life for young ones gets busy real quick. I just want to spend time together, just her and I. I make the argument that full timing will most likely allow us to be near the kids more often than keeping a home. Although I cant imagine life without her, I would hope I could see my dream to fruition if something happened to her but I can also imagine the thought of sitting under my awning alone asking myself now what? Our health is very good although like a lot of us, I am overweight and smoke, both worry me the older I get. As I sat here reading your stories this morning, I couldn't help but shed some tears and pray that you all find comfort in the things you love or perhaps find someone to again share this wonderful lifestyle we all cherish. I gave her an extra hug this morning and told her I loved her and I hope that we can get to the point of seeing this great country side by side. I know one thing. Whatever happens, your partners would want you to be happy and live out your dreams. You never know what the next trip might bring or what is around the next corner. Sitting at home, you pretty much know what tomorrow will look like.

[russue125]

My husband and I were planning many trips that now I will need to take alone. Before he passed in March, he made me promise to continue Rving not matter what. I went for the first time in June but had my daughter and her two small children with me. Then I went to New England for the month of July which is what my husband and I had done for a few years. That was very hard...but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I'm now planning on traveling to Texas in November...to visit family and just spend some alone time in San Marcos. And after Christmas, I'll be traveling to Florida for a few months. I plan to see old friends...I hope that will be enough for me.

[Mr_D]

Reference to post 58 above:
Well, tomorrow is the one year anniversary of Cindy's passing. Took some trips in the MH and made a reservation for the FMCA rally in Tucson next Feb. Still have a bunch of stuff to donate and sell though.
Still not easy and I'm still not convinced it's getting any better but the step grandson that lives with me keeps me busy with his football for now.

[computerguy]

MR_D and Mojo and all the others,
The circle of life really sucks sometimes. Death really didn't impact me emotionally until it did. And when it did I took it hard.
The best advice given to me was from the priest at my Dad's funeral service. To paraphrase, we are not here to morn your loved one's death but to celebrate their life...
So, to me, every time I get down about not being able turn to the person missed I simply recall all a good times I had with them.
It reverses my feelings almost without fail.
This works for me and if I can possibly pass on something that helps another well, then, I have done something good for the world today.
We are all here for a limited time. Make the most of it while you can and are able.

[suse1023]

I'm so sorry for your losses, it's hard to believe its almost three years for me.

My Carriage Cameo feels cavernous now, it's nice to live in, and i don't mind hauling her, but the packing and unpacking makes me impatient. I've come to the conclusion I need a home base to which i can return. I love Vermont, and intend to vote here for the rest of my life.
I think I'm deciding to find a permanent site for the fiver and add a truck camper to my life. That feels more portable, and bonus i can haul my horse with me---I SO want to explore our country from horseback!!! But alas, I do NOT want to do that alone. (so if you are a solvent cowboy with a hippie outlook on life, hit me up, lol!)

I do struggle with the companion piece though. While i am interested in meeting someone with whom to travel and share adventures, and romance would be lovely, I admit, I'm scared. Scared of putting myself out there --gulp--worried i'm not young and pretty enough anymore, just feeling a bit timid and scared in general lol----which is NOT ME!!

So I'm finding my way, slowly but surely.
Courage lads!

[speedpeddler]

Five years ago shortly after my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at the age of 58 I purchased a slightly used 40 foot Monaco to fulfill my bucket list desire to tour the country by road. Unfortunately, it was a bit too late for her as she was unable to adapt to the rv and all it's systems and the unfamiliar surroundings so I sold it at a great loss after three short trips in state. DW is now institutionalized in a memory care center and I'm strongly considering making a round the country adventure solo before it's too late for me too.

I have not lived alone for 50 years and never traveled alone let alone in an RV. Although I do know two women that do it regularly and they are encouraging me to do so. I am not a social and gregarious person and value privacy, peace and quiet, comfort and convenience. I am now considering purchasing a class B such as Roadtrek with the intention of heading out next summer for a trip I calculate will take two months with only my 10 yr old dog for companionship.

I'm looking at class B vans due to the smaller size that can also serve as local transportation plus I do not intend to spend all my time in the rv. Hotels and resorts will also be in the plans occasionally.

Opinions from experienced rv'ers would be greatly appreciated regarding my choice of rv, how you did it and tips on how to make this a memorable experience and what you would have done differently. I'm a complete newb here so any and all responses will be appreciated.

[pasdad1]

Originally Posted by speedpeddler

Five years ago shortly after my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at the age of 58 I purchased a slightly used 40 foot Monaco to fulfill my bucket list desire to tour the country by road. Unfortunately, it was a bit too late for her as she was unable to adapt to the rv and all it's systems and the unfamiliar surroundings so I sold it at a great loss after three short trips in state. DW is now institutionalized in a memory care center and I'm strongly considering making a round the country adventure solo before it's too late for me too.



I have not lived alone for 50 years and never traveled alone let alone in an RV. Although I do know two women that do it regularly and they are encouraging me to do so. I am not a social and gregarious person and value privacy, peace and quiet, comfort and convenience. I am now considering purchasing a class B such as Roadtrek with the intention of heading out next summer for a trip I calculate will take two months with only my 10 yr old dog for companionship.



I'm looking at class B vans due to the smaller size that can also serve as local transportation plus I do not intend to spend all my time in the rv. Hotels and resorts will also be in the plans occasionally.



Opinions from experienced rv'ers would be greatly appreciated regarding my choice of rv, how you did it and tips on how to make this a memorable experience and what you would have done differently. I'm a complete newb here so any and all responses will be appreciated.

Sorry to hear about wife. Since in your own words you say you value comfort and convenience....I don't think a class B would be for you. Very tight quarters especially with a dog aboard as well. You should look at a bigger class C or try to get your old class A Monaco back - lol

Privacy, peace and quiet (your words) might best be found boondocking. A class A possibly with solar panels on the roof would be excellent for this. Large diesel generator, large fresh water and black tanks means more time you are able to relax without worrying about running out of fuel, or needing water.

Large diesel pushers also are the most likely to be equipped with auto generator start circuitry which would allow you to leave your pet in the RV with relative comfort and safety (during the times you would need to venture out alone ....like shopping for food, etc when it would not be safe to leave your pet in your car or truck)

A larger motor home allows you to tow your car with you. A class B does not. You don't want to be breaking camp every time you want to do some quick site seeing, or to run out for a restaurant meal, or a quick visit to the store.