Leaving spouse at home

[Rappenwolf]

My spouse and I don't have an RV yet. She's an Iowa-bred girl who's never lived outside the state and I've been all over. I would love to retire, sell everything, get myself a nice RV and travel full-time, but she's reluctant to spend more than a few weeks or a couple of winter months away from familiarity. Which means that we will have to keep a home base and if I want to travel as much I do, I will have to go it alone frequently.

Anyone else out there have a part-timer and a full-timer in their household?

[RedneckExpress]

The misses currently is staying with her mother south of me while I live up here for work in the RV, eventually we'll be able to afford a larger RV so we can both live up here together, but we don't plan to do it forever.

I usually travel by myself alot, the requirements are usually a nice dinner and even for the two of us before hand and then many admonishments that I belong to her before I set off.

[TXiceman]

If I tried to roll the RV out of the driveway with out the other half, we have a major war on our hands...and I mean right now.

Ken

[AL]

Hey Rappenwolf,

All we talked about my whole working life was when I retired we would spend Winters in Fl. and Summers traveling! Well 3 months before I retired the wife said she was to youg to just wander around and got herself a job! I retired in Nov 2007 and went to Fla for 2 1/2 months alone, and she came down for a one week visit! That was 4 winters ago, and she never came to visit after the first year! In june 2009 We got divorced, but it was not over the alone travel!! Even with that happing I say go for it, live your dream! We only have one life and don't know how long it will be!!

[dsbike]

My wife travels for her job. She lives in the MH when on assignment, which has been steady for the past 21 months. I visit her & help her move from one town to the next as much as possible. She also comes home when ever she gets the chance. We just moved her from St Louis to Ft Worth. We got everything set up & we both came home for a few days before she starts the new assignment next week. There are times she wishes she was at home & many more times I wish I could retire sell the house & travel with her. That day will come, my only fear is she will tire of the rv life style & we will end up living in one place. I have been traveling all over the country & a few other countries all of my adult life & I just can't stay put in any one place very long.

[RVThere]

My DW can't stand when I leave her and take an RV trip. I always have my sons and some friends with me so I'm never flying solo.

dsbike - I think if you rented an RV and took her for a week somewhere great she would be hooked! But make sure you go to places that may interest her. For example, if we go out to Kentucky to see the Corvette factory, I know I have to drive a few more hours and see the Quilt Museum in Paducah.

[dsbike]

RVThere, I think you misread my post. My wife lives in our MH most of the time, due to her job as a traveling nurse. My concern is that in 10+ years when we are ready to retire that she will be tired of living in the motor home. I do agree with going places either we both enjoy or where one of us has interest. We must be willing to give to recieve. We were in Paducah twice this year. Once just overnight in the WM parking lot the other we got there early in the day & toured the downtown area. Very nice with some interesting history.

[HD4Mark]

Not us. We got into RVing together and will go together. Nothing to tie us down though. My mom & dad are both gone and hers spend the winter in Florida anyway. So this year we will spend Christmas with them. I have one daughter that is 24 and no grand kids. She is busy but is welcome to visit us while we snowbird.

Many times we have heard stories of a couple planning to retire and travel only to have the Mrs. decide she can't leave the kids/grand kids (sorry ladies). A neighbor of ours is this exact story.

This is a tough situation. If a couple is thinking of traveling after retirement you should seriously discuss that if you are making a plan, stick to it or consider a different plan. When faced with I might retire and DW could not yet (although we both retired the same day) I said "I'll miss ya" but was only kidding.

So Rappenwolf, I feel bad for both of you. One wants to wander the other nest. I hope you two can come to a happy medium.

[Rappenwolf]

The more I talk and research RVs, the more interest she shows. She loves fishing and I always enjoyed it, so I think if I make a lot of our journeying about fishing, I think she will enjoy it. I don't think she realizes that, with an RV, we can "come home" just by putting down our RV locally. If we hook up at someone's house, we can pay for utilities and even come out ahead financially. I am actually proud of the fact that she has even done some research on her own. Who knows-- we may come out all right in the end!

[tworootless]

After 30 years of marriage bliss (Yea right) Just thinking about living on the road full time led to my divorce. Fast forward 11 years and still living on the road with my second wife who loves the lifestyle as much as I do. IMO if a couple is going to live separate lives, they should do it for good.

[ncason]

My advice is to get a camper and go on local trips. Talking about a sudden change of lifestyle will scare the bejesus out of a homebody. I like the camping and traveling more than my husband and the first 3 month winter snowbird trip was hard for him. In three weeks he wanted to go home. Home was 2,000 miles away so he made it thru the winter. That was 7 years ago. You can have a lot of great trips and still keep the homeplace and since of roots.

Most women will balk at talk of selling eveything and living on the road.

I have met two families that did just that and then found a permanent place they preferred and then had large, expensive rigs to sell. Not my cup of tea.

Try camping first, wintering, then a one-year trip then decide. If one of you gets cancer what would you do? If one of you dies will the other one continue to RV or would they want to return home?

My mother-in-law is 93 and still healthy but slowing down, my mom is 85 and basically healthy. We are the caretakers. By going to Florida for the winter we can be home in one day if necessary one and a half days normal driving.

Feb 2009 my sister was very ill and I left the husband in the 5vr and drove the truck home. He made out fine for 4 days without me.

My two cents.
Nancy

[skirk55]

Just try to take her on a small trip. Then go for a few weeks. If not good enough then do what you want to do. Live out the rest of your life miserably or hit the road and enjoy what time one has on earth. Look ahead not back!!

[WheelingIt]

I'd second the idea of taking a few small trips & easing her into it. If she's a home-bred girl it's a big jump to think about giving everything up. So, go slow and try a few trips to test out the waters. You never know...she might end up loving it. I think if you go on separate trips your lives drift apart and that's always tough on a relationship. So, I'd give it a try the slow way and see where it leads.

[RoyM]

We bought our old fiver from a family member then it sat while I went over it and fixed a few things. She didn't seem to take any interest in it, I was getting discouraged and was ready to put on craigslist. Just forget the dream.
We took it on a weekend trip, spent two nights parked in my sister's driveway. We both enjoyed it, she started collecting maps and magazines and talking about next time. YAAAYYY!!! She said afterward all she could see at first was the work involved getting it ready and packing.
I agree with others, take short trips and gradually extend them. Make an effort to find things she would enjoy each day and share them. If you do 150 miles one day and 25 the next so what. DW was used to pushing with her ex, the destination was more important than the journey. Vancouver to Reno in a day and a half and they were ready to slit each others throat by the time they arrived. She could not at first get used to the idea of taking our time and not worrying about reservations. We couldn't make any because we had no idea where we would be.