Solo RVrs - Do you get tired of people?

[EelKat]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JazzZen Maybe I just need to whine a bit to folks who get it, but I do get tired of people. I'm actually kind of new to this living alone thing, but it took me about a minute to adapt. I've been very busy the last couple of months with activities, guests, visiting, and now staying for a month in a park where I know many people. I'm kind of peopled-out. Don't get me wrong. I'm gregarious and love a good happy hour, and time with friends and family is precious. But here, I feel like I have to take a drive to be alone. And I think the last couple of months have completely caught up with me. I guess I'm looking forward to the end of the month when I move - alone. I'd love to hear from other solo RVrs on the topic. Everyone is so different and I think I have a lot to learn about living alone. Maybe you have some ideas or thoughts? Am I just being whiny or do others have this issue as well? How do you find balance between alone and social time? Do you get tired of people or are you frequently seeking others out?

I'm not alone by choice. My husband had some kind of a mental break down and a complete change of personality. Remembers nothing of our 24 years together. Has no memory of having a wife and believes himself to be a "Virgin Saint High Priest" for the church he has now devoted his life to. :( He tells his new church friends that I am "some crazy woman" who follows him around trying to destroy his career for God with lies. This change came about after we had a miscarriage, which he refused to accept.

It's quite upsetting, but not the first time. I spent the first 17 years with him, before he changed from the man I knew to a UFOlogist with a rabid phobia of having his brain sucked out by aliens, boarded up every door and window in the house and spent his days in the corner terrified ghosts were going to kill him in his sleep. It was hard to deal with but at least he still remembered me though. This change came about when his mother died of cancer.

Because he has no memory of the first 2 personalities, he believes 100% that he is who he says he is now and refuses medication. His family told me that this had happened before I meet him and that the person I had initially met was not the "real" person either. They told me that the "person" I had meet and married, had shown up after the horrible drowning suicide of his teenaged brother.

Doctors tell me he has "Dissociative Identity Disorder" also called "Multiple Personality Disorder". They said he has an inability to face death and avoids facing death of a loved one by essentially killing the person whole loved the dead person, and becoming someone else entirely. Well, in any case, I still love him and hope that someday he remembers he has a wife who loves him and misses him very much.

Some days he remembers me, but not as his wife, but rather as an "old girlfriend" from his past. How do you remain "just friends" with the husband who can't remember he had a wife? It tears me up inside and there's no one I can talk to about. No one who understands. Doctors tell this disorder is so rare that most psychiatrists don't even believe it exist. They tell me there have been less than a 1,000 documented cases in medical history. It's so rare I can't find any one else who has had a loved one go through it.

So, I remain single, separated from the man I love.

Do I get sick and tired of people? Oh yes.

I get tired of people asking why I don't give up on him and find someone else.

I get tired of people playing matchmaker and sending "eligible" men my way.

I get tired of church members, women with children, constantly putting me down, telling me how great and wonderful they are "for doing Gods duty" and giving birth to a new baby every year.

I get tired of people acting like nothing is wrong and telling me it's "God's will" to break up my family and destroy my husband's mind, and that everything is better now because he is "doing God's work".

I have days when all I want to do is sit in the car alone, with the doors and windows locked, so no body can get in, and play the music full blast so I can't hear a word they say.

I hate being alone. But I hate being around condescending, unfeeling, inconsiderate, pity party people too. I don't want their pity. I don't need their "I told you so"s. I just need a friend, some one I can sit down and talk with, go out for pizza with, laugh with. People either avoid me or chide me or try to set me up on blind dates. Why can't any one just act normal around me and try being my friend?

I live alone now because my husband has declared he "can't have a female living in the same house with a priest" along with lots of rants about church doctrines and excommunications. So for the past 8 years I have lived alone, hoping, waiting, collecting cats for companionship.

I have 12 cats now. Me and 12 cats in a motorhome waiting for a crazy husband to remember he has a wife. Locals call me "That Crazy Cat Woman" now. Oh well.

I'm sick of the question: "Why don't you get a husband?" Why? Because I already have one and I still love him, but I have no idea how to make him remember that.

[AL]

Hi all,

Hey EelKat,

Wow I am sorry for your trouble and I know what it can kind of be like! The most scared I ever was in my life, was when my wife was in the hospital with a break down! And at first when she got out things were very hard! However she did get better and get off her meds, and even got a job, and semmed happy! Then she decided she did not want to be married anymore and divorced me after being together 33 years, married 29 of them! However I am sorry to say I don't think 12 cats in a motor home is the right answer!! So with all that said I wish you the best!

Remember All: LIVE, LAUGH & ENJOY !!!!

[Izzyblueye]

It is not my place to give advice. I would however ask myself, if I were in your position, if it is healthy to have 12 cats in an RV, healthy for either you or the felines. What are your chances of a relationship with any one under those conditions?
Even though cats are great companions, you also need human contact.

[Senior Chief]

No advice, but a huge ((((hug)))). My brother and his wife have a 30 yr old son with schizophrenia. My nephew has refused treatment for most the last decade and now exists on the streets most of the time, lost and alone.

Mental illness is a huge wound to those that love the sick person.

I do wonder what kind of Christian community you are involved in that seems so hurtful to you (while its true there are nasty people everywhere, church folks or not). I would remove myself from any worship community that doesn't offer you first and foremost the love and grace of Christ.

Not my business, of course, but have you sought out a support group for families of the mentally ill? It would seem to me folks who have struggled with your issues would be very helpful with your coping.