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Stay tuned for what may be some comical entries!

I've always been told I should be a writer. Not that I think I'm good at it, all my family, friends, acquaintances and coworkers tell me I just have a way of telling a story.
Yes, I have been known to embellish things a bit, but without an apt description of events, it just wouldn't paint the picture in quite the light that it needs.

Many of our adventures.....wait, let me change that....Many of our misadventures start out with all the right intent, but somehow end up a WHOLE lot different than intended.
Being as my wife have a sense of humour, it helps get through most of the calamities that befall one who enjoys the RV Lifestyle.
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Our (Mis)Adventure To The Oregon Coast

Posted 03-29-2015 at 09:02 AM by Dogpatch
Updated 03-29-2015 at 09:03 AM by Dogpatch

This is only a portion of our trip to the Oregon Coast, but certainly the most notable moments of our "new to us" RV.

Day 1,

Well we made it to Hope, BC. Stayed at the Coquihalla Campground. I plugged in and a few minutes later, the power went out in the campground. Everything was pitch black. Talking with the neighbours, they said "Ya, not sure what's going on". I said, "me either". A couple of minutes later, the power went off again. Black out! Few minutes later came on again. 10 minutes go by and then...Blackout! Me and the neighbour look at each other and he asks me, "You got both your A/C units on? I said "Yup". He said "So you are the guy blowing the power to the campground. These are only 30 Amp sites. Yours takes 50 Amp for two A/C's". Then the park manager shows up. I turned off one unit and everyone's power came back on.

Day 2,

Made it to Everett, Washington. Filled up with gas at the 7 Eleven. Gas is $3.83 a gal. I calculated we pay $5.98 a gal at $1.33 per ltr. Theoretically I saved $230. On my fill!
On leaving the station, there was a steep drop to the highway. I was a little worried about bottoming out. Just a little. I get half way down the slope and I hear this grinding noise. I know it's a steel skid under my hitch making a connection with the pavement. Suddenly, we come to an abrupt stop. "This can't be good" I say to myself. Cars are waiting and watching, so I booted it. A HUGE screeching and grinding noise ensued as we bucked and moved forward. Finally we broke free and made it out onto the road.
I sheepishly look in the rearview mirror, I didn't see any parts left behind, but I did see a long deep furrow (gouge) in the pavement you could have planted next years corn in.

Day 3,

We are now at Lake Pleasant RV park in Bothel Washington. I was looking up numbers to car rental agencies cause we didn't bring our car, when suddenly the A/C went out along with some lights. I looked around sure enough, many other things were out. I left the RV to check the pedestal, heard the neighbors A/C working and thought maybe I blew a Breaker. Got to the pedestal, saw my surge protector lights were on and breaker was still on. I turned it off and on anyway. Bonnie says "it's still off" so I sat down in my recliner to ponder what to do next. Suddenly the power came back on. My thought was, resetting the breaker must have done it.
A few minutes later, the A/C and lights go off again. WTH?, I ask myself.
So I went outside and did the same routine I thought fixed it before. Came back in, waited and nothing. So I get up, start looking at the breaker box. All breakers are on, but I switch them on and off anyway. Bonnie says "Come on. What's going on, I'm dying here in this heat". I tell her "How am I supposed to know, I'm not an RV technician"!
So....I go sit down in my recliner to ponder my next move and everything comes back on. This is tooooo weird for me!
I start on my car quest again and ........The A/C goes off again!
I go out to the pedestal, all on, I go in the bedroom check the panel, all on. Some things like the microwave are flashing the time and the TV lights are still on. I ask myself....self, why would some be on and not others? Now, I'm thinking maybe a disconnect. I go over to the inside battery disconnect by the door and hit the button and Voila!!! Everything came on!!!
I sat down and everything went off, so I turned around in my chair, hit the disconnect switch and it came on.

I think I found the culprit.....it was me! Every time I sat in the chair or learned forward or back, the corner of the chair hit the battery disconnect switch for either on or off.

Day 5,

Here we are, all packed up and headed out of the campsite towards Interstate 405 to return the rental car. I drove the RV and Bon drove the car. I had checked the tire pressures on the RV and had a low inside tire so before hitting the freeway I decided to stop at a Shell for air. This kind of started the whole stressful ball rolling.
I pulled up at the tire pump however had to block a car to reach the hose. There was a lady vacuuming her car and I said" I'll just be a minute". I walk up to the air pump and it wants $.75. I go back to the RV and Bon isn't there. (she had all the US change) She is up at the cashier buying something. So I run up, grab some change and get back to the RV. The woman is finished vacuuming and says in a very snotty voice "Are you going to be long"???. Politely, I said, "No, I'll only be a minute as I mentioned".
Tire gauge, I need my tire gauge. It's in the RV! So I yell to Morgan to bring me the tire gauge. I look over at the lady. See's not happy. You could see the window steaming up and her nostrils flaring as I try to smile at her and mouth "waiting for the tire gauge" in silence as she has her window up. I finally run around to the RV door and get the tire gauge myself. As I open the door, Bella (our Dachshund)comes flying out of the RV and bolts down the parking lot. Now I'm chasing the dog. Finally, I catch her and get her back in the RV. Apparently when Morgan (our Daughter)stood up she almost knocked herself out on the overhead TV. I walk back to the tire pump. The lady is obviously visibly really PO'd by now. I pop the $.75 in and get the air in my tire, jump in the RV and back it up for the lady. She squeals in reverse then squeals out of the parking lot.

Finally we are out on the freeway with Bon behind in the car. It's morning rush our. 5 lanes of NASCAR drivers heading in the same direction as us on their morning commute.
Now, the thing about Seattle is that there seems to be an off ramp for everything, in every direction and every few feet it seems. I have the GPS set to the address of the car rental, however, we are going so fast, the GPS (Madge we call her) can't seem to keep up and is spitting directions out faster than an auctioneer selling a storage unit. I'd look at Morgan and ask "What did she say"? No help there, Morgan's plugged into her iPod and didn't hear me.
I look up and there is my exit on the right. 5 Lanes over. So, here I go. I check the side mirror, there's an opening! I swerve into the next lane, then the next and the next, however still, missed my exit. Madge spouts off "Stay on the current route and in 8 miles, take the next left.
What the hell happened to all the off ramps every 30 feet like I just passed??
Bon is nowhere in sight now and I realize......"She doesn't have a clue where I am going". No address, no cell phone and then all of a sudden I spot her in the mirror. Finally, I take the next off ramp and Madge takes us to the car rental. I get out to get the keys from Bon. I could see she is shaken and not impressed and blurts "That was a bit of a nightmare"! "Ya no kidding" I said.
So I get in and the guy at the desk says did you fill the car with gas? Nope! He says"That will cost you $6.00 per gallon if we do it" and gives me directions to the nearest service station somewhere within 2 blocks. Great! So now I'm on my way back out to tell an already upset wife that I have to leave them to go put gas in the car.
Not sure when the last time was the attendant went to this gas station, but when I pull up, it's now some dog grooming boutique!
Off I go! No clue where! Finally hit a busy street and ventured about 5 blocks and spotted a Chevron. I filled up and started back to the car rental. By the grace of a higher power, I found my way back.
Car returned, we set back out on the freeway. Suddenly, we are back in the land of off ramps, lanes converging, lanes splitting and 5 lanes shooting off every which direction. The view ahead looks like something out of a sci-fi movie.
Madge is getting confused again. "Keep left and then turn right" she says. "WTH does that mean I ask Bon"? "I don't know, keep your eyes on the road" she says.
Madge is spitting **** out left right and centre now "keep left and in 300 feet turn turn right" I look up and I see the lane for I-5 so I jog into the next lane. Madge is now spitting me new corrections, Bon is yelling at me to "listen to Madge why aren't you in the left lane, you're going to get us killed". Cars are coming from behind in every lane in what seems at NASCAR speed!!!
Worlds are colliding and I finally yell out "Will everybody just shut up for a minute".
I was at near breaking point. Obviously I missed our off ramp.
Did the same thing about 3 more times before we got through Seattle. That all took about 2 hours longer than it should have. "Got to see a lot more of Seattle" I jokingly think to myself.

Bon says " if you think we are doing this RV thing again, you are sadly mistaken".

However, as the lanes dropped off and the freeway got less busy, the frazzled nerves switched to more calmed ones and we continued happily on our journey towards the Ocean!
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