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Trying to look at this as an adventure....😶

Posted 02-20-2022 at 09:35 PM by Misjudg
Updated 02-20-2022 at 10:33 PM by NLOVNIT (multiple instances of vulgar language)


I'm trying to look at this as an adventure. I know it's been a while since I've posted, but this girl's been going through it. You know RV life is not really been an issue for me until I had to start boondocking. See living here in the Bay area, and I've lived here my whole life, I've never struggled like I do now. It's gotten so crazy expensive. I never thought 10 years ago my life would be going down this road. But it's been spiraling downward for a long time now. I've been trying to keep my chin up but with all the negativity and bad things happening one thing after another. I'm tired. I don't even have the support of my own children. You know it's funny you give up your life for them, you drop everything, you put yourself in bad positions to make sure they get everything they need... Yet there's nowhere to be found to help old mom. Actually I got in an argument with my youngest and it was about her not helping me and me having to do everything myself and I've always helped them and she ended up calling the police saying I was suicidal. Needless to say because of that the sheriff showed up and pounded on a bunch of RV doors until they found me, which did not go over well with management and that evening my oldest daughter and I were arguing and of course all the windows were open (this never happens to me I'm the most quiet person in the world) she made quite a impression. Im sure I'm never welcome back there again.Then she proceeded to call a member of my family which is the worst person to call and just she created so much drama and stress it broke my heart. I've just been crying a lot. I always thought I'd have at least the support of my own children. My oldest she's out galavanting she anytime work needs to be done or something important needs to be done she disappears. Ever since their father died they've been a little messed up I've did everything I could to fix things but when something like that happens unexpectedly I could see how that could [moderator edit] anybody up. God it's been 5 years and he unexpectedly took his own life in a very [moderator edit] way and my life's been [moderator edit] ever since. Damn we weren't even together when he died but we were one of those weirdo couples that even though after we split up we stayed good friends and did family things together he had his girlfriend and I was dating and I couldn't get rid of him he was still like a family to me and I was always there to help him but I guess that one night he didn't ask for help. And I beat myself up cuz I often think of if we had stayed together if I tried one more time he'd still be here today. Me....I'd be a basket case having to take care of a child the same age as me...lol

Enough of that crap, so anyway I found a spot where I was parked up for a few days and it was nice and I figured I could go away for a few days and come back to the spot but they're going to be working on the road for the next month so I lost that. And it's kind of hard to drive around and scout out for spots and a 32 ft RV I'm terrified I'm going to get stuck on a road or something. So I think I'm going to drive to Belmont which is up the road a little bit not far maybe 5-10 minutes and go spark close to my work see what happens. It's a little further for my daughter's work but it's closer to mine and I guess she's going to have to deal with it for a little bit. I'm just really sad and depressed. I feel exposed when I'm used to being such a withdrawn cautious private person and I feel like I'm just out there for the world to see even though I pull my curtains clothes and it just sucks. I was hoping I didn't end up in a forest somewhere with nobody around except maybe a few mountain lions and something I wanted to be up in the hills but I see now that there's no way I could drive this thing up in into where I'd like to be too scary nowhere to turn around the roads too small. And then Park system up here is closed until I think they said May which really sucks cuz when I first planned on all this and I was counting on that.

RVs driving okay. I've only driven it a few times but I guess it's all right. I noticed today there looks something was leaking from the very rear and I think it's the water tank. I am haven't prepared the hot water heater yet cuz I ran out of funds it worked damn it was working so good too I've never had hot water in this thing. My brother when he dropped this off to me it was a [moderator edit]mess it was disgusting and I was upset because I work two jobs when am I going to have the time to clean this thing out on top of having to move and put my whole life into an RV it's depressing. I can't seem to have my place organized at all there's always [moderator edit] everywhere. And the resentment towards my brother's building and building and that's a whole other story. I don't know. Well the generator works okay I just hate to run it too long cuz I don't want to draw attention to myself and it has an oil leak and a small leak in the fuel line I have to fix I figured when I do that I wanted to change the oil and filter and I figured it that time I would clean it because it's you can't really tell where it's coming from so at least I can get an idea of what's leaking. I've been making sure it's full and topped off though. I also had my first experience going to the dump station thank God there wasn't a line. But it took about 45 minutes you know fill up my water which I don't think it filled all the way and now I know why it seems like I never have water I think I have a leak in the back probably when I was going over you know it's making a turn and I think the bottomed out a little bit in the back cuz of course it's kind of heavy back there I got to figure out a way to be more careful I've been trying to turn a little better and it's been okay. Oh I could go on and on but I think I'm probably taking this way too long as it is. But since I have my boondocking adventure I'm going to try to blog a lot more often it's a good venting place. Let's see I guess that's it.

Okay I'm going to end this with my RV checklist things I need to do not necessarily in the order they're going to get done.
1. Get the damn hot water heater working

2. Fix the bathroom to the shower works better I'm using as a storage now ��

3. Get stabilizers fixed

4. Repair seals on slide out and doors so I don't have a draft

5. Make those curtains for the front of the RV

6. Set aside at least one day or night a week to work on organizing and cleaning up this RV.

I could go on and on there's so many things I need to do but I'm going to stop there. I don't know does anyone well I guess nobody really can respond to this never mind.
I hope everybody out there doing well and thank you for stopping by. This is like my dear diary but this is like my therapy session LOL. I'm so grateful for this place I can't even tell you I've made it so far only and so only because of all your help. Otherwise I think it would have had a nervous breakdown already. I wish there was more 72-hour parking around here. I wish my car was with me so I could go drive around and scout out a spot. And mostly I wish my kids were helping me out and supporting me through this. I know it's kind of a depressing blog, but it is what it is. I'm depressed what can I say. I'm going to go take my medication, turn on some music, take one more trip around the the area real quick to see if I can find a spot for the night and I will talk to you guys soon. Hugs.
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