I'm sorry I can't answer our question about which vent is which.
But I'd also suggest you look for air gaps, and see if they need replacement.
Here is a picture of one, probably not the same as is in your coach, but to see the basics shape and design.
STUDOR 1-1/2 in. or 2 in. PVC Mini Vent Adapter-20341 - The Home Depot
Look under your kitchen or lavatory cabinets for these. Usually up aways, and towards the back. Our coach has three that I know of, and suspect a 4th behind the Splendide too.
As these start to fail, odors can work into the coach.
Hope someone else can answer your other question. While not a perfect solution, perhaps if you have water in both grey and black, go up on the roof by the vents, and then have an assistant open the grey and listen, you might be able to hear which vent is for grey, and then repeat for black.
Best of luck to you,
Smitty