Teaching Wife to Drive

[gpounder]

I know, DON'T DO IT.

But realistically that is my only option.

And she has no real interest in driving but I think she should be able to do it just in case.

She is willing but has passed up a number of opportunities. Finally she has on her own watched some YouTube lessons but I find them quite inadequate as all they do is talk about turning.

The YouTube stuff is interesting but too scientific for me.

I leaned to drive when I was 20 something and bought a Charter Bus company. I just went out and did it, with help. I actually think the Motrohome with it's so called automatic transmission is harder to drive. I learned with a 10 speed manual.

Any words of wisdom?

[NXR]

My wife and I are both former firefighters and truth be told she is better at driving the motorhome than I am because her experience is more recent than mine.

Even with that background (40+ years between us) we elected for professional driver training and we just completed a 2-day "couples" driving class from RV Driving School last week. https://www.rvschool.com/

It was two six-hour days at our home with some "classroom" at the beginning of the day and actual driving the rest of the day. The instructor also was a former firefighter and inspired a lot of confidence. We picked up a lot of tips

The course was about $700, not even the cost of one insurance deductible.

If you have not both sat through this video from Lazydays, it is well worth the 45 minutes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CeThR_A4VI

The RV Driving School covered a lot of the items in that video so it was good prep. We'd never heard of the front blind spot before because, you know, people are supposed to get out of the way of the fire department.

Because Forest River slants the dash downward at the very front, our front blind spot was about 13' whereas the instructor said it's usually about double that. He cautioned that the true impact of the front blind spot is that you can see nothing in that area. If pedestrian steps off the curb while in that blind spot you may not ever see them.

This one on off-tracking from RV Geeks is much shorter but really gave us great insight into that entire issue: https://youtu.be/y5MSGqfh8z0

HTH,

Ray

[Solo_RV_Guy]

"Maestro, how does one get to Carnegie Hall?"


"Practice."


The Misses will learn the same way. Shopping malls have lots of space these days, so with some sidewalk chalk and a few orange soccer cones you can make a course.


Mostly it's a matter of her being ready to get outside her normal comfort zone. Be a coach and not a critic, and praise her accomplishments. She may never "like" driving but you'll both feel better knowing she can if she needs to.


Good luck and safe travels!

[FIRE UP]

Originally Posted by gpounder

I know, DON'T DO IT.

But realistically that is my only option.

And she has no real interest in driving but I think she should be able to do it just in case.

She is willing but has passed up a number of opportunities. Finally she has on her own watched some YouTube lessons but I find them quite inadequate as all they do is talk about turning.

The YouTube stuff is interesting but too scientific for me.

I leaned to drive when I was 20 something and bought a Charter Bus company. I just went out and did it, with help. I actually think the Motrohome with it's so called automatic transmission is harder to drive. I learned with a 10 speed manual.

Any words of wisdom?

gpounder,
Teaching the wife to drive a coach is for the most part, 100% different for each and every couple out there in the RV world. Some wives, flat out refuse to get behind the wheel, no matter what the potential benefits might be. If you tell them that they may have to some day, 'cause the huz has become incapacitated etc., they'll simply answer: "So, I'll just wait for help". And some might say: "Well, when that day comes, THEN I'll learn".

While other wives, like mine and quite a few on here, had absolutely no reservations about getting behind the wheel. For that matter, neither did either one of our kids, at age 16 and 15. They have thanked me a zillion times over now for years for teaching them waaaaaaay back when.

Teaching some wives, is all about PATIENCE! No yelling, no screaming, no arguing, no demeaning comments. You INSTRUCT, PERIOD! Some wives, will get the hang of it, first time behind the wheel. And some, well, might take a week or more. Who cares? If they're willing to try, and you're willing to try and teach them, WITHOUT WW III starting, then all is good.

The smart thing to do, in my humble opinion is, forget about all that "taking a class crap" and so called "Professional instructor" garb. YOU are her stablemate. YOU are what she needs to hear any and all instructions from. YOU can make this work! One of the first things to stress is, WHY she needs to learn. Of course there's the obvious. If you get sick, have any form of heart problems, any debilitating issue or, you're just plain SLEEPY etc. Yeah, I know, some guys wouldn't be caught dead sleeping while their wife is at the wheel.

I sleep all the time. In fact, that's the main reason she's driving, is so I can catch a few zzzzzz. Sometimes, just dozing off for say, 1/2 hour or so, will freshen me up perfectly so I can re-take command of the console. And in many cases, she says: nope, I'm fine, you rest. GREAT!

But, driving a coach is not rocket science. It's merely BIGGER than your average car/pickup/space ship/submarine etc. Start out simple. Sit at home, in comfort, and put her in the drivers seat and explain, what's what. OF COURSE IT'S LARGER so, yes, take the time to explain it's not a race car. Once you get most of the basics down on how things work in that particular coach, then, what I'd do is, get it to an empty parking lot some place. Home Depot, Lowes, Church, whatever.

Start simple. Starting, putting it in gear, show her how much throttle it takes to move a gymnasium and stop it. Then make sure she's got some basics down and, now comes stage II. And that is, put out some cones (you can get those in two days from Amazon) and, put them in an arrangement that she / and you, can negotiate through a bit of a slalom course.

One thing that may be important here. No need to do ALL THE TRAINING, IN ONE DAY. Take a few days to a week or two, of week ends or, what ever kind of schedule both her and you can agree on. Again, no forcing, no "mandatory" stuff. Just re-confirm the importance. Once you get her to a point she's fairly confident doing the small stuff, move to stage III. And that is, OUT ON THE ROAD.

And try not to do that, in rush hour traffic, NOT GOOD! If at all possible, head out to a country road someplace that's not overly crowded and less traffic. The point here is, getting her used to maneuvering that rolling gymnasium around, without playing ping-pong with either the guard rail or, the cars on the other side of the white/yellow line.

Now, all of this CAN be done in one day, if she's the kind that sucks all the knowledge up quickly and learns quickly. If not, take your time. Let her work at her pace. Take a break once in a while, stop at a Dairy Queen.
Scott

[Smitty77]

One technique that could work, is to make a trip thru LA at about 4:30PM. When the traffic stops, and it will. Just put in neutral, set the parking brake, and step out the door and walk to the near exit.

Nothing quite like the moment, for a crash (Pun?) course...

Now. Very important final step for you, if you decide to take this course of action. Is once you get to exit. Get an Uber/Taxi/Train/Plane - whatever it takes - and get back to the main home as quick as possible. Pack as much of your personal belongings as you can carry. And then enter the Witness Protection Program. (If they will not let you into this. I'm told by others that have tried this training technique, that some of the jungle areas of Costa Rica are relatively safe to hide in.)

-----

I agree with many comments here. IF you two feel you want to do this by yourselves. Go find a big open place, and start with the basics on maneuvering. I assume she is our spotter when backing into places(?), if so, ask her for tips on how you can be a good spotter for her. Then get out on non crowded streets for her to get a feel for some driving. Progress to the highways.

I'd suggest for starters, just let the transmission and engine brains handle the shifting. Avoid large hills, where you might need to use the Jake or Exhaust Brake. Save those for down the road aways...

And yes to the RV Driving school. And tip, I bought this for my wife as a Xmas the first year we were retired. I should have paid the extra for both of us. (The instructor did let me ride along for the two days, and I did learn some things too.) But mostly because most insurance companies give a discount for Driver School. You might call and ask what the discount would be for one of you, vs both of you, and then do the math on the payback period. But in addition to this, if you broach the subject that you think you would like to take a driving class for safety reasons, so you can learn new techniques. Then suggest 'How about we take a course together?' - it just might go over better!

Good luck to you,
Smitty

[Roy1]

My wife would never attempt to drive ours. She tried driving our Winnebago chieftain 35 years ago and said not for her. A friend’s wife was driving their 43 ft American eagle last year on a crowded los angles freeway when she side swiped a semi truck in a real tricky situation . Only minor damage to a mirror and a wiped out awning. She really needed more experience on the road for conditions.

[36PFT]

She needs to start somewhere. I had experience driving farm trucks when I was much younger, but was out of practice. It is very important for her to be able to relieve you. I started by traveling from one rest stop to another on major highways in the mid west. I would drive this way until I was comfortable driving farther than one stop. I do admit that I do not drive over the George Washington Bridge or the Cross Bronx Expressway, but Stan has much more experience for those areas.

[DGBPokes]

If she is a good car driver, she can easily be a good RV driver. I wish I could get my wife to drive more! 95% of the time, when I screw up, I am either in a hurry, or am fatigued. If she just drives for an hour or two, it makes a huge difference in my fatigue level.

Fact, she does almost all of the backing. When I back, her signals aren’t clear, I don’t trust her instructions, and she says I don’t follow instructions well ( can’t imagine why she thinks that). She doesn’t have the confidence in her rig skills, so she is very slow to act, and follows my instructions perfectly. ( I can shout loud too).

She tries to avoid major traffic areas, cities, narrow roads. All of which, I understand, and is fine by me. She isn’t as confident in her skills, but she does just fine.

[Harry Joe]

I can’t imagine my wife NOT driving. In hind sight, maybe WE should have taken a MH dridving course. She drives about half the time. We can get about twice as far with 2 drivers. When we bought our first motorhome, she was, of course, involved in the decision and wanted to share driving. I read comments from owners who say that they get tired and can’t get as far as they want to get in a day.
The solution is obvious—a driver with benefits. http://www.irv2.com/forums/images/sm...coolsmiley.gif

[D Gardiner]

Agree with NXR (post #2) regarding the RV Geeks two videos, and the one from Lazydays. The Ladydays video is boring, but quite instructional. They helped me too reacquaint me, even though I briefly drove 28' box trucks back in the mid-90s.
If your wife has watched RV driving videos on her own, without being prodded, that is a great sign.
The other video that helped was understanding tire blow outs.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lkwOE1yKY5c

The wife and I have discussed driving her driving, and has agreed to drive next summer vacation when we traverse Nevada 50. I want her to feel the rig without having to worry about heavy traffic in our congested area.

[Roadmiester]

My co-pilot does not want to drive, at least not at this point. She has moved it some in our driveway. Due to health concerns since we getting up there in years, she does need to be able to handle a problem should I be unable to drive of have gone limp behind the wheel. First thing, I have told her should something happen, let the coach come to a stop right in the middle of the road. If you pull over traffic will just continue past us. Get my foot of the gas, turn the engine brake on Hi and then try and get the coach stopped right in the middle of traffic. Someone WILL stop to see what is going on if you stop in the traffic lane. Do not turn the engine off, you'll lose the steering if you do. We go over this from time to time. I like to drive and don't mind the hours behind the wheel. That's our plan for the moment.

Roadmiester
09 Dynast Regal IV
45 ft., tag axle, ISM500

[jacwjames]

While traveling together I do most of the driving. My wife is content to look at facebook and whatever else is on her phone. But it is good to know she can take over if needed.


We first had a 31' Class C that my wife learned to drive and she made many solo trips. We then got our current coach and it was a pretty easy transition, we both think the Class C is easier to drive then the Class C.

One year I was traveling a lot (~250 day mostly international). When I did the annual oil change I almost fainted, she put +10K milees on the motorhome going to dog shows. Yikes.

[SavnTheWales]

Start by setting a good example. Do you always do your pre-checks? Do you follow at a safe distance? Do you drive with road rage? Your spouse will pick up on how you drive and replicate the same.

When you see or anticipate situations, make sure to tell her what you plan to do and why. For example one of the most dangerous and critical thing are how to fill up with gas. Explain why you leave a few feet between you and the pump. Why you choose the end pump. Why you skip some gas stations, because it’s too hard to enter or exit.

Make her understand she is NOT driving a minivan. That she cannot swerve or stop like she can in her minivan. Teach her the rule... just like with boats... that the smaller, more nimble vehicle MUST yield to the larger vehicle. It’s true there are a$$holes out there, but I find they tend to give up when a 26000lb vehicle is the challenger. Just make smooth transitions during take off, stopping, or lane changes. The horns she might hear are just those drivers saying “hi” and appreciating her driving.

[Dutch Star Don]

My wife doesn't want to drive and never will. She also could careless about any social pressure by others who might say she should learn to drive because women can do anything a man can do. My wife loved being a mom and raising our children. That included sitting back and letting me do the driving, hooking up and camp setup.

During those same years, I gained experience in thousands of miles of driving RV's and pulling trailers. That included the last 15 years of driving a DP with an exhaust brake/engine brake up and down steep grades out west and bumper to bumper traffic. That experience was priceless. No way, my wife, even if she wanted to, could gain that type of experience now and be comfortable handling a 40' DP with a toad or boat. In all honesty, if she doesn't feel comfortable doing, why would I make her try.

Maybe someone can name an emergency, so drastic, that there spouse had to save the day by driving their RV. I know exactly what I would do, more importantly, what my wife would do if I was incapacitated. She would call one of about a dozen friends or family that could drive our rig and have them do it.

If a spouse wants to learn how to drive, more power to them, but if they don't, life goes on!