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Old 09-25-2020, 09:20 AM   #1
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Kindest

I have been following this thread very closely since it started. I note that the moderators have had to warn and close some conversations more than other threads. I also note some but not all comments are harsh, personal and hurtful..and that is when the moderators step in...thank you moderators.

I have a question to all....in this time of a world crisis why can’t we all just be kind?

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Old 09-25-2020, 10:05 AM   #2
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Mankind has been 'brutal' since the beginning of time

Some question was asked in 1992
"I just want to say – you know – can we all get along? Can we, can we get along?"
Rodney King
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Old 09-26-2020, 12:46 AM   #3
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Well, it's a crewel world and life isn't fair. Sometimes the truth hurts. We play nice here and the mods see to that. But this is not the real world and out there it is not so nice. To not be offended is not a constitutional right but it's one we have here.
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Old 09-27-2020, 03:57 PM   #4
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I thank the 2 folks who replied.

One responded saying “mankind is brutal” the other says it’s “ cruel world” “ truth hurts” “the world is not nice”.

Neither,however, commented why we can’t be kind?

What is stopping all of us from being kind to each other?

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Old 09-27-2020, 06:01 PM   #5
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I thank the 2 folks who replied.

One responded saying “mankind is brutal” the other says it’s “ cruel world” “ truth hurts” “the world is not nice”.

Neither,however, commented why we can’t be kind?

What is stopping all of us from being kind to each other?

Wells
Because mankind is brutal by nature...it is instinctive
Kindness is taught and must be worked at
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Old 09-27-2020, 07:02 PM   #6
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For harsh replies, the little red triangle, if you click on it, will get a mod's attention....
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Old 09-27-2020, 10:12 PM   #7
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Welcome Wells to IRV2. We are all kind here. You asked about the world. The world is not really kind. But, there are many kind people in the world. I am one of them. But I live in "real world" as someone used to say and being aware that there are people that would do you harm will allow you to also be kind to those that need help. Enjoy the forum, but when you ask a question plan on getting the truth as someone sees it or just request what you want to hear..
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Old 09-28-2020, 12:41 AM   #8
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....

What is stopping all of us from being kind to each other?

Wells
I find your question unkind. It is a loaded question like asking if you still beat your wife.

The instructor in a class open on a second day of class with an example of her to be kind. I raised my hand I pointed out that she was not kind but engaging in gossip.

Some of the women in the class gave me hate looks.

I then pointed out that there were cultural differences in the workplace. Safety culture was important in my workplace and at my home.

Covid-19 is a safety issue at work, at home, and while we travel by RV.

If I yell 'stop, don't put your fingers in the meat grinder'; I am not being mean. Maybe you get your feelings hurt, but your feeling are your responsibility.

Life is complicated. Being safe and doing the right thing often results in strong differences of opinions.
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Old 09-28-2020, 04:58 AM   #9
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Ahh... a question on the nature of man. A "universal" question; all human beings ask it. Many are, or were, much wiser than I.

Rather than wade into that deep pool, let me offer two personal observations, both of which address the topic in a glancing way.

First, it is easier to prune out emotion when dealing with facts. "Is there 12V at the fuse?" can be asked and answered without emotion.

Second, if I’m honest, my thought life is no higher than a five-year-old’s. Most every thought is “Says who?,” “Don’t wanna,” or “Mine!”

The distance between physical reality (facts) and emotional reality (feelings) is the playing field on which humans interact. Sometimes you end up in the "kindness" end zone, but I suggest it takes an intentional and sustained effort to get there.
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Old 09-28-2020, 05:59 AM   #10
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The question "in this time of a world crisis why can’t we all just be kind?" is, sadly one we as humans will never achieve. However, there is a lot of kindness out there. It just doesn't get noticed as much as the hatred does. Humans seem to always remember the bad, the cruel the hurtful, and push the kind, rewarding and the smiles away. I spent a decade working in disaster areas where people's lives have been completely ripped apart, but you know what, that is where you will see tremendous kindness being shown. It doesn't get shown on TV, or printed in the papers, but it is there. Look around and you will see, hear, or feel it.
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Old 09-28-2020, 07:16 AM   #11
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There is a theory that people have to be taught to be kind. I don’t buy it. I have seen crawling babies go to another baby who was crying and pat them. I have seen toddlers give each other unprompted hugs. I have seen children go out of their way to,help,others. I think we are taught to not be kind, to act as if everyone else is out to get us, that we need to “get ours” and ignore others.

These days in particular, I try to look with kindness at those who are so scared their entire life is being destroyed by shutdowns, to those who see someone else not wearing a mask as an attack on their mother undergoing chemo or their premature child that is struggling. Empathy that others are struggling would definitely go a long way.
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Old 09-28-2020, 08:49 AM   #12
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But,, What is the true meaning of life?
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Old 09-28-2020, 09:30 AM   #13
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Empathy requires mental health and good manners come from good parenting. Both are often missing in those who either choose to be unkind, or don’t have the capacity.
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Old 09-29-2020, 01:47 AM   #14
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Ahh... and emotional reality (feelings) is the playing field on which humans interact.
Oh, you have to love that!

Several days ago I drafted an email. One of the things I like about this forum is that the discussion help you deal with problems you have. This time it is not my Onan or Comfort Control station.

Just decided to travel 4k miles out of the way to see people where hugs are the expected form of greeting is hugging. So I sent the email with some empathy editing.

I need to be my grandmother.

DW was the queen of kindness. One of the reason I loved her and begged her to marry be more than once. There are things I did not understand about DW. I happened to be working with a man who had some of the same qualities. He had common navy service and was from the same state as DW. I asked him.

Hr said it was called being gracious! Growing up in the intercity in the north, gracious was not in my wheelhouse.

Riddle me this? How do you wake up dear dad from a rare Saturday nap because of a malaria relapse with a severe case of survivor guilt and PTSD (not that we knew what they were at the time)?

Very carefully!

So picture 4 cousin rearing long dresses and no make up in the same high school class. Times change! I can tell you where I was when each of my children were born. No Not a bar!

My father was not at a bar when I was born. He was getting last rights with me and mom. Dumbass blew up the house. PTSD might explain big sis weird behavior. We can discuss it next time she is talking to me.

Back to hugs. I am blessed with bedtime hugs from a granddaughter. Last huge was from a woman who has permission to not be 'nice' to me. The life flight helo was a clue. Was it me me or her best friend?

Life is not kind. Smallpox is not kind. Polio is not kind. WWII and Korea were not kind. God's plan may not be our plan.

So I need to be nurturing mother and grandmother. Not in my wheelhouse.

Do I need to be your nurturing mother and grandmother? No! Maybe you need the stern father.

Life is funny. Sister and nieces complained about our patriarchal father. He died and now I have all the answers?

Well no! Of course with 6 women giving direction to the only person (me) who has been there before.
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