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Old 06-18-2018, 10:11 AM   #1
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And that's when the fight started......

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
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Old 06-18-2018, 10:12 AM   #2
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
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Sometimes I sits and thinks, sometimes I just sits.....
2002 Monaco Windsor 40PBT, 2013 Honda CRV AWD
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Old 06-18-2018, 10:13 AM   #3
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My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
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Joe & Annette
Sometimes I sits and thinks, sometimes I just sits.....
2002 Monaco Windsor 40PBT, 2013 Honda CRV AWD
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Old 06-18-2018, 10:14 AM   #4
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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
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Joe & Annette
Sometimes I sits and thinks, sometimes I just sits.....
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Old 06-18-2018, 10:15 AM   #5
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
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Old 06-18-2018, 10:16 AM   #6
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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me
for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets
and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that
I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started...
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Sometimes I sits and thinks, sometimes I just sits.....
2002 Monaco Windsor 40PBT, 2013 Honda CRV AWD
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Old 06-18-2018, 10:17 AM   #7
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One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
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Sometimes I sits and thinks, sometimes I just sits.....
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Old 06-18-2018, 11:01 AM   #8
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good ones
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Old 06-24-2018, 05:23 PM   #9
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I rear ended another car and a little person hopped out, stating that "He wasn't Happy".
So I asked him which one he was.
And that's how the fight started.
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Old 07-23-2018, 09:01 AM   #10
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My wife was looking at herself in the mirror one day and said "my butt has gotten bigger, my stomach hangs below my waist and my boobs sag to the door. Can you give me a compliment? "
I said "yep, I can tell you that you're eyesight is amazing."
and that's how the fight started
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Old 07-26-2018, 03:11 PM   #11
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Wife came to me and said "The broom broke!".
I said " Crash landing?"
Then the fight started....
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