Years ago, while pitching in an unlimited arc softball tournament the batter hit a one-hopper back at me. The ball hit the women's pitching mound and came up & nailed me in the most sensitive part of male anatomy.
(I did manage to extract the ball and throw the batter out at first)
While standing there not knowing whether to go blind, fill my pants, or throw up the umpire comes over & inquires whether I got one "in the jewels". I replied:" Hell NO!! I stand like this after every pitch!"