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02-10-2011, 08:36 AM
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#1
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Senior Member
Tiffin Owners Club
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 744
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Fun Puns
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker,
But he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
Because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope,
It'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
And was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
Would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center
Said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from
Prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and
Pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary,
They got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris,
You'd be in Seine .
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at him and says,
'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that
You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
During a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends,
With the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
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02-10-2011, 11:15 AM
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#2
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Senior Member
Workhorse Chassis Owner
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Savage, MD
Posts: 233
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Very Good!
Very good, with a lot of thought into some of these. They are quite someting!
__________________
Bill N8HDW & Nancy N8HDV
2005 Sea Breeze 8341 on W-22 Chassis
2008 Saturn Vue I-4
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02-10-2011, 02:40 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Workhorse Chassis Owner
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Northwestern Montana
Posts: 3,512
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Now, back to the subject of global warming.................
Dieselclacker
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02-10-2011, 04:35 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Tiffin Owners Club
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 744
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-17 in some places in Arkansas last night, must be global warming.
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02-10-2011, 09:59 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North America somewhere
Posts: 30,652
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Dadeaux, #1 caught my eye. On the escapees discussion forums there is a member-screen name Sir Circumference, who claims to be quite round from eating too much pi. Could it be you?
__________________
2000 Winnebago Ultimate Freedom USQ40JD , ISC 8.3 Cummins 350, Spartan MM Chassis. USA IN 1SG 11B5MX,Infantry retired;Good Sam Life member,FMCA. " My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. John F. Kennedy
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02-11-2011, 09:07 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Anacortes, WA (Stick & Brick)
Posts: 2,643
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At a Chicago medical/dental office high rise building, one of the doctors was a very methodical and punctual person. Every evening he closed his office at eactly 5:00, heade down to the lobby in the express elevator and went into a small cokctail linge for a drink before catching the train home.
He always had the same drink - an almond daiquiri. it was his own invention, made by adding a small amount of finely ground almonds to a regular daiquiri.
It was the same every weekday, and he'd been doing it so long that the bartender made up the drink a couple of minutes ahead of the doctor's arrival. One day, the bartender reached for the almonds and found they were out. Mild panic, until he saw a packet of hickory nuts. He ground them up and added them to the drink.
The doctor came in, picked up his drink and took a sip. He said to the barman "This doesn't taste like my usual almond daiquiri, Dick". The barman said "Well actually, it's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."
__________________
Frank Damp -Anacortes, WA,(DW- Eileen)
ex-pat Brits (1968) and ex-RVers.
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02-12-2011, 10:53 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Tiffin Owners Club
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 744
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ray,IN
Dadeaux, #1 caught my eye. On the escapees discussion forums there is a member-screen name Sir Circumference, who claims to be quite round from eating too much pi. Could it be you?
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There was a time when that screen name would have been fitting. However, I'm present on three networks all under the name Dadeaux (pronounced da-doe), a name used by my grands, Escapees is not one of them.
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