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09-20-2007, 08:18 AM
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#1
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Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Walkersville, MD
Posts: 44
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After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton:
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least,
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Wal-mart
__________________
JimB
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09-20-2007, 08:18 AM
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Walkersville, MD
Posts: 44
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After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton:
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least,
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Wal-mart
__________________
JimB
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09-21-2007, 06:35 AM
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#3
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Senior Member
Monaco Owners Club
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Dolores, Colorado
Posts: 809
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LOL!
__________________
Brenda & Tony, traveling with Chocolate Lab Cadbury and Cavalier King Charles Spaniels Rossi, Hayden, Millie, & Hercules... towing an assortment of motorcycles!
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09-21-2007, 09:00 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Appalachian Campers Workhorse Chassis Owner Coastal Campers Carolina Campers
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Conway, SC 29527
Posts: 165
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That's a riot!!!
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Colleen (Mrs. DriVer)
Conway, SC
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09-21-2007, 11:12 AM
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#5
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Moderator Emeritus
Ford Super Duty Owner
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Bryan, TX when not traveling.
Posts: 22,948
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My daughter sent me that several months ago. I ask her who had been following me around in Wally World?
Ken
__________________
Amateur Radio Operator (KE5DFR)|No Longer Full-Time! - 2023 Cougar 22MLS toted by 2022 F150, 3.5L EcoBoost Tow Max FX4 Lariat Travel with one Standard Schnauzer and one small Timneh African Gray Parrot, retired mechanical engineer
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10-08-2007, 08:48 AM
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#6
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Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3
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how true it is
I changed my email preference
to read from walmart
copy pasted this and changed
the names to ours and
sent it to my wife
rot row George??!!
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10-10-2007, 07:41 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Carlos, Texas
Posts: 1,746
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Get a whoopie cushion and as you pass by folks or get on the other end of the isle, let it rip. That's always a good fun attention getter. But be prepared to get smacked real hard by the wife.
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