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MSHappyCampers · 01-17-2021, 12:42 PM

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...

arcaguy · 01-17-2021, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSHappyCampers

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...

Spouses can be funny like that.

gatorb8 · 01-17-2021, 01:58 PM

sounds like "Who wants to be an adulterer" to me.....

Wrascal · 01-17-2021, 05:39 PM

sounds like average Joe to me ... (he's a rascal).

MSHappyCampers · 01-18-2021, 10:17 AM

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

MSHappyCampers · 01-19-2021, 09:42 AM

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"WOW!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that's when the fight started...

MSHappyCampers · 01-20-2021, 08:43 AM

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer... Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Jim18655 · 01-20-2021, 10:31 AM

My wife wanted me to drive her into town to donate old clothes to the poor and starving.
I told her "anybody that would fit in your clothes isn't starving."
Doctors said the swelling would be down in about a week.

Gammel · 01-20-2021, 05:46 PM

^^^^ Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding!

artman1913 · 01-21-2021, 11:02 AM

Two days ago I gave DW a bad time before she had her coffee.
I get out of the ICU today.

artman1913 · 01-21-2021, 11:02 AM

I live with fear every day.
Sometimes she lets me go camping.

MSHappyCampers · 01-21-2021, 11:18 AM

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...

Jim18655 · 01-21-2021, 01:23 PM

My wife asked me one day about getting breast implants. I told her to rub toilet paper between them everyday. She asked if it would work. I said "it worked on your butt".
I'll be in the hospital for awhile so don't stop by the house looking for me.

ratherberv · 01-22-2021, 04:05 AM

My buddies and I went on a 3 day drunk one time. When I finally came home my wife asked "and how would you like it if I stayed out for three days?" I just shrugged my shoulders and said ""wouldn't bother me any"
So that night I didn't see her. The next night I didn't see her. By the third night the swelling had gone down enough I could just start making out shadows a little!