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06-17-2012, 06:38 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Texas Boomers Club
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Katy, TX
Posts: 667
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Murder at walmart
MURDER AT WALMART
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her la st breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station , Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're going to hate me for this...)
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
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Jimmy & Tre
Katy, TX
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06-17-2012, 06:47 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Aiken,SC
Posts: 1,025
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Good one!! you had me going.
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Good Sam Life Members
Served in U.S.A.F.
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06-17-2012, 07:20 PM
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#3
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Moderator Emeritus
Ford Super Duty Owner
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Bryan, TX when not traveling.
Posts: 22,948
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Jim, you reached an all time LOOOOOOOW.
Ken
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Amateur Radio Operator (KE5DFR)|No Longer Full-Time! - 2023 Cougar 22MLS toted by 2022 F150, 3.5L EcoBoost Tow Max FX4 Lariat Travel with one Standard Schnauzer and one small Timneh African Gray Parrot, retired mechanical engineer
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06-17-2012, 08:26 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Northeast, MD
Posts: 173
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I Have Heard some bad jokes in my day but this tops it this is good but mean
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The Williams Family-Northeast, MD 21901
1999 Foretravel U320C-Gray, Black Mix W/ White
41 FT 9"-M11 450 H.P Cummins-1550 Ft Lbs of TQ
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06-17-2012, 08:37 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 735
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This old one has been around as long as the classic, "Rudolph the Red knows
rain, dear.' ....
.
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06-17-2012, 08:48 PM
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#6
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Senior Dude
Triple E Owners Club
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Somewhere, BC.
Posts: 5,613
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Bad!!! LOL
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Les (RVM12), Bonnie and 4 leggers Shelby and Tea Cup
Triple E Empress A3802FW Diesel Pusher 330 Cat
FMCA-420438 Good Sam
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06-18-2012, 08:04 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Texas Boomers Club Freightliner Owners Club
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: DFW Area, TX
Posts: 2,040
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I used this on another thread, too, but it seems like an appropriate response to that joke
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2000 Georgie Boy Landau 36' DP
2018 Equinox toad
KF5-NJY
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06-18-2012, 08:15 AM
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#8
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Senior Member
Alpine Owners Club Texas Boomers Club
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 1,357
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Bazinga !!
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Michael (Home base Northern IL)
Alpine 40MDTS (gone but not forgotten)
Now Dynaquest 390XL
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