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Old 03-17-2010, 06:42 AM   #1
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Our first canada border crossing


This is the odyssey of the travels of my wife and myself on a trip we took to Alaska. We left on the twenty third day of May and returned back to North Carolina on late August. During the trip we traveled about 16000 miles and we were gone about four months.

The travels of Seajay and Willa.
First hand account of the trials and tribulations of motor home travel.

Me and Willa left North Carolina in a thirty three foot, A class motor home on May 23rd . It was loaded to the extreme with all the necessities for motor home camping. We had plenty of food, maps, rope, tools, fishing equipment, and all the other necessities that you just don’t travel without. We had a case of duct tape (because you never know when you might run across a Duck that need taping.) We also carried our entire collection of cassette tapes in a large cardboard box.

We have a Geo Tracker that we pull behind the coach that is used for exploring and servers the purpose of a “rolling basement” and a rolling stowage area for miscellaneous items that are pretty much useless but are too good to throw away. These items are referred to as “STUFF”. Some of the “stuff” in the back seat of the Tracker was a follows: 100 feet of rope, one axe (very dull, handle cracked and taped) one satellite dish with 50 feet of coax. One satellite dish stand. A shovel with a broken handle. Several pieces of 2 by 12 for leveling the coach. A tow rope. A large blue tarp. 3 fishin’ rods. 2 tackle boxes. 100 feet of garden hose and a lot of other “STUFF”.

We headed west from North Carolina thru Tennessee and Kentucky and thru two states that start with the letter “I”. We rambled thru the mid western states and on to South Dakota. We stopped and looked when we found something interesting and we were really enjoying the trip. We crossed South Dakota and turned north thru Wyoming.

Laughter, fun and food were the order of the day and everyday was a new adventure. We had never been thru Customs before and we were concerned about crossing into Canada. The fear of the unknown is a terrible thing and we had heard horror stories about people being strip-searched and their van ripped apart by the customs agents.
As we crossed Wyoming we prepared for the dreaded customs inspection. We had our medical records, birth certificates, and all or registration papers for the van and the Tracker. We made a list of the liquors, tobacco, beer, and any other thing we could think of so we would be prepared for any question. We quizzed each other with questions we thought they might ask at the border. We memorized the license numbers of the two vehicles. We wanted to be ready and whiz thru customs without a hitch.
As we approached the border I could see that Willa was a little nervous. She had become very quiet and her left hand was shaking a little.
“They can strip search us, can’t they”?
“Sure they can but don’t worry, I’ll do all the talking and we wont have any trouble at all”.
We eased up to the customs station and I stopped the van right in front of the window. I put the coach in park and slid the side window open.
It took about 2 seconds to see that this customs agent was all business. She looked over her glasses at me and did not smile.
I blurted out my name.
“Number of people”
“Uuuhhhhhhhhh ……….. I’m the only one in here with that name. Her name is Willa, but I’m the only one named Seajay”.
She looked over her glasses at me again and typed something in the computer.
“No sir, I mean how many people are in the coach”.
Fear enveloped me. I had blown it. I had given a bad answer and she had written something down and I knew we were in trouble. I glanced at Willa and she was wrapped with fear. Her body was contorting into a shape like Quazimoto and she was starting to drool. I could just see the both of us in a cold room with some big-fingered customs agent probing for contraband while two other agents ripped the van apart with crowbars. I tried to regain my composure but my hands were starting to shake and I wet my pants but I tried to remain calm. With a tremble in my voice I replied.
“Two of us. Just me and Willa. No one else, except us, together, her and me, alone, except for each other, together, by our selves but with each other alone”. I smiled a friendly smile.
She wrote something else into the computer.
“Alaska. Me and Willa are going to Alaska. We are going to travel straight thru to Alaska. We ain’t gonna stop. We are just passing thru Canada to get to Alaska because that’s where we are going. Alaska.”
I realized that this did not sound like we liked Canada and in mid thought I decided that I should at least say something nice about Canada.
“Uuuuuhhhhhh. But we will stop in Canada if it’s ok to stop in Canada. We like Canada and we will stop in Canada too. And spend money, and buy things because we like Canadians because we are sure they are nice folks with stuff to sell, because we brought money to spend in Canada too”.
She looked over her glasses again and typed something in the computer.
“Look mister, I realize that this is probably your first crossing into Canada and you are a little nervous. Just stay calm and just answer the questions and this will make as simple as possible”.
“Are you carrying any guns, tobacco, drugs, beer, wine or liquors”?
“Yes, yes, no, yes, no and yes”.
She laid her head down on the desk and kind of shuttered. She raised her head back and with a determined stare said. “Ok mister, which answer goes with which question.”
I finally got the right answers to the proper questions and she typed something else in the computer.
“How long do you intend to stay in Canada”?
“Ohhhhhhh, for a long time because we like Canada and we like the people too and we uuuhhhhhh…. I don’t know”.
She typed something else into the computer.
“Enjoy your trip sir. You may proceed. Enjoy your journey”.
I was completely taken by surprise. I was dumbfounded. We had cleared customs. I pressed on the accelerator and the engine whined but the coach didn’t move. Thinking I had put the coach in neutral I moved the gear lever one notch down and gunned the engine. The coach lurched backwards and I smashed into the truck behind me breaking out his head light with the bumper of the Tracker.
The customs agent rose from her chair and looked out the window at the truck.
“Just go on sir. No harm done. He would have probably broken the head light anyway”.
I eased out of the border crossing and the entire ordeal had been too much for Willas nerves and she threw up in the box of cassette tapes.
We headed north after I changed my pants and Willa cleaned out the cassette box.

We headed north ...... The adventure continues
(this was transfered from another forum that I use to be on)
Seajay the sailor man.....................
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Old 03-17-2010, 07:40 AM   #2
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Thanks for the smile!
Michael (Home base Northern IL)
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Now Dynaquest 390XL
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Old 03-17-2010, 07:55 AM   #3
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Funny - very funny. I enjoyed that

Thanks for sharing.
The Great Dane
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Living in Denmark - visiting the US whenever possible.

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Old 03-17-2010, 09:21 AM   #4
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Can't wait for the sequel...
Jim with Judy
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Old 03-17-2010, 08:48 PM   #5
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You all don't know what you are in for, right Cecil the Seajay?

Still funny.
Wayne MSGT USMC (Ret) & Earlene (CinCHouse) RVM14 (ARS: KE5QG)
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Old 03-17-2010, 09:02 PM   #6
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I laughed so much that my husband got up and left the room. This sounds just like something that would happen to us! Thanks for the good belly laugh!
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Old 03-17-2010, 10:33 PM   #7
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Very funny laughed so hard brought tears to my eyes,... Thank you
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Old 03-17-2010, 10:47 PM   #8
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Loved the story. Sounds like something we would do to. Still laughing
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