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Old 11-19-2016, 04:49 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Cooperhawk View Post
A Mother with a young daughter were in a checkout line behind a rather large female shopper when her cell phone started beeping. The little girl backed up quickly and said, "Look out Mom, she's backing up!"
Now that there was 😂 funny!
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Old 11-20-2016, 05:19 PM   #16
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My dw dragged me shopping at JC penny, of coarse after looking at several items, then putting them back on the rack. Then looking at seven million other items before going back to first items, preceded to checkout with 3 items. DW had a coupon for 30% off, very nice young lady looks at coupon,30% x 3 items, says thats 90% off your purchase today ,my dw actually tries to tell her that her calculations are incorrect, young lady actually gets indignant, says no maam that is correct. I piped in "ok have a nice day", we left as others in line behind us laughed.
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Old 11-20-2016, 06:04 PM   #17
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My dw dragged me shopping at JC penny, of coarse after looking at several items, then putting them back on the rack. Then looking at seven million other items before going back to first items, preceded to checkout with 3 items. DW had a coupon for 30% off, very nice young lady looks at coupon,30% x 3 items, says thats 90% off your purchase today ,my dw actually tries to tell her that her calculations are incorrect, young lady actually gets indignant, says no maam that is correct. I piped in "ok have a nice day", we left as others in line behind us laughed.


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Old 11-20-2016, 06:14 PM   #18
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Ahh. I am once again reminded of the famous Forrest Gump line..........

(Yeah, you know the one)
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Old 11-21-2016, 07:01 AM   #19
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Having lunch at a fast food place a few years ago the kid at the register apologized that the register was broken and he would have to count out my change...oh boy. We he proceeded to give me my change and it was $5 too much. I pointed it out to him and he recounted it and said "no it was correct". So again I pointed out to him that he was not counting the change correctly. He said with a bit of an attitude that "NO I gave your the right change"
I thanked him saying it was probably my mistake, pocketed the extra $5 and whished him a good day.


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Old 11-22-2016, 05:10 PM   #20
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A friend of mine has a huge Labrador Retriever. It eats a lot, and we went to the store to buy a large bag of dog food. We were in line to check out and a woman behind him ask if he had a dog.
The "what a moron!" look on my buddy's face was priceless, and I knew what it meant: he was going to toy with her. He told her that no, he was starting The Purina Diet again although he probably shouldn't -- he said he had ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. He said that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with his story, particularly a big tall guy who was behind the woman.
Horrified, she asked why he ended up in the hospital -- had the Purina made him sick? He told her no; he'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking his balls and a car hit him.
The woman turned fire-engine red, and I helped the tall guy up off the floor.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
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Old 11-22-2016, 05:28 PM   #21
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I hate conditioned responses.

Taco Bell:
'I'd like a 5 layer burrito, no onions, no tomatoes.'
"Sir it doesn't come with onions or tomatoes, is that okay?"
'Can you add the onions and tomatoes and then take them off?'
*dead silence and then over-heard mumbling of them trying to find out if they can*

At the day job:
Customer is heard complaining that I always call during lunch. It's a trick being I don't know their lunch schedules. They always get the calls during lunch because they only report IT issues that have been causing problems all morning - DURING LUNCH.

Then we have my 3 year old daughter:
'Go stand in the corner'
Slowly walks to a room that has 2 on the same wall - stands between them.
'Why aren't you in a corner?'
"I don't know which is better"
'How about you pick one?'
"I don't want to make one of them sad"
At this point I stood there in disbelief. I don't think she ever made it to a corner that time...
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Old 11-22-2016, 09:02 PM   #22
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Shopping at Walmart

I purchased a bunch of bananas. Two cashiers at the register because one was in training. My order came to 88cents. I gave her one dollar. Neither one of them could tell me how much change i would get even after I told them two more cents makes 90cents and 10cents makes a dollar. Give me twelve cents change. Wait a minute I have to use my calculator on my cell phone to give you your change. Sad,but true. The duming of our youth.
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Old 11-22-2016, 11:57 PM   #23
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I was at McD's one day and ordered a burger, fries and a drink. The cash registers were not working at the time so kid behind the counter proceeds to write the cost of the burger and fries on a piece of paper and adds them up. Then he adds the cost of the drink to the previous number to get the total. This takes a couple minutes, but he finally gets the correct total, something like $4.38. I then give him a $5 bill and he proceeds to subtract the $4.38 from $5.00. After three tries and 3 minutes later, he still had not arrived at the correct change. Since there was a long line forming behind me, I asked him to put the change in the Toys-for-Tots box when he figured it out.
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Old 11-23-2016, 04:49 PM   #24
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And these are the same mental giants that think they deserve a 16.50 minimum wage.
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Old 11-23-2016, 05:55 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by TwelveVolt View Post
This is only mildly funny, but what makes it hilarious is that it is absolutely true.

We were standing at the fast food register today when the girl (employee) at the drive-through window shouted back to the kitchen:
Q. Julio! I need some help up here. Do you speak Spanish?
A. No.
Q. SERIOUSLY?
This is a true story.. (You can tell because it is told in the 1st Person which means I am part of the story)

Troopers had arrested a drunk driver.. But no matter what they ask him all he would say was "Speak only Polish". Alas we had no polish speaking troopers on duty.. So I called Hamtrammck PD, The largest polish community in Michigan.. or for that matter outside Poland if I'm not mistaken.. And guess what.. NOT ONE of those officers on duty spoke Polish.

So I called St. Florians (A Catholic Church in Hamtrammck) and Fr. Ted, came over.. he spoke polish.. Oh yes, He spoke it very well (he is from Poland) and ...... The Drunk replied "Speak only Polish".....

It was fun listening him talk to the drunk (Very angury father speaking to very bad acting child type talk) and then to the troopers (in American English of course) very friendly and nice.
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Old 11-23-2016, 06:04 PM   #26
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I was at McD's one day and ordered a burger, fries and a drink. The cash registers were not working at the time so kid behind the counter proceeds to write the cost of the burger and fries on a piece of paper and adds them up. Then he adds the cost of the drink to the previous number to get the total. This takes a couple minutes, but he finally gets the correct total, something like $4.38. I then give him a $5 bill and he proceeds to subtract the $4.38 from $5.00. After three tries and 3 minutes later, he still had not arrived at the correct change. Since there was a long line forming behind me, I asked him to put the change in the Toys-for-Tots box when he figured it out.
Ya know, in the "good old days" of 1965+- working at McDonald's before electronic cash registers that was the way we had to do it....except for the subtraction part. Everything was written down on paper and tallied. We were taught how to handle money the "McDonald's way". All bills facing the same way, no folds or creases, and all bills in their specified locations in the drawer. At the end of a shift drawers were counted and compared to the written orders and the differences were reported back to the employee. It wasn't that common for a drawer to be off, and very embarrassing when your drawer was the one that was off! Ah, the good old days!
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Old 11-24-2016, 06:26 AM   #27
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...It wasn't that common for a drawer to be off, and very embarrassing when your drawer was the one that was off! Ah, the good old days!
And it did not matter if you were over or short. Either way you were off and not accurate. We were paid to be accurate.
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Old 12-02-2016, 08:37 PM   #28
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We carry 3 one gallon water jugs for drinking water and usually fill them up at grocery stores with filtered water dispensers either inside or outside. In October, in a small town we frequent, I filled up a typical everyday ONE gallon jug inside the store at their refill station and took it to the register. I set in on the conveyor belt with no other items. As it moved its way up to the cashier, I said "It's a refill". She asked "How many gallons?"

I walked out the door shaking my head and chalked it up to teenage mentality these days. The crowning blow was about a week later, in a DIFFERENT store, I got the same question!!!!!! And they will multiply!!!!
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