Oxymorons

[Larry & Rita]

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"

when we are already there?

10.Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11.Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12.Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15.Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16.If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18.Iflove is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19.If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20.Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21.Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control


when you know the batteries are dead?

22.Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23.How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25.Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26.Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?


I dunno,whydo we?

[golden]

Military Intelligence (where I spent 20+ years).

[wa8yxm]

I am going to answer 17.... (All the world's a stage)

In Shakesperian times it was common to involve the audience in the performance.. Many shows featured "A play within a play" in which the actors would actually come down off the stage and sit in with the audience.. I have a mental block just now on the name of the "inner play" in Hamlet. Google suggests it is: Murder of Gonzago, I thought it was something else, Oh well,

In this scene Hamlet and the King and Queen and several other parts come off the stage and sit with the audience.

So to the question "If all the world's a stage, where does the audience sit" On the stage, of course.

[frankdamp]

When a person is dyslexic, insomniac and agnostic, he lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Isn't an oxymoron someone who has gone crazy by not breathing properly?

[Go Dawgs]

Thank you for the morning laugh.

[Glassalley52]

People that don't know the first thing about cooking; designing a kitchen, especially an RV kitchen.

[Nuge]

How about the "new" vehicle idea of putting an electric motor (Fuel Pump) in a gas tank and using the gasoline as a coolant for it?? Electric motors throw some sparks and get hot so lets use flammable liquid to COOL them?!?!? Sure, the technology works, but it just strikes me as WRONG!!! Let alone ALL the FUN of dropping the tank to change it!!!

[Bob/Becky D - VA]

If you can be underwelmed or overwelmed - can you be welmed????

[Downsizer]

Great laughs!

[calsteve]

-- Nobody ever goes there, its too crowded --

[Mr_D]

Originally Posted by Nuge

How about the "new" vehicle idea of putting an electric motor (Fuel Pump) in a gas tank and using the gasoline as a coolant for it?? Electric motors throw some sparks and get hot so lets use flammable liquid to COOL them?!?!? Sure, the technology works, but it just strikes me as WRONG!!! Let alone ALL the FUN of dropping the tank to change it!!!

Gasoline as a liquid isn't flammable, it's the fumes as the liquid evaporates that's the problem.

[Cherylv]

Tuna fish I guess someone was afraid we might get confused and think they meant Tuna cow or Tuna goat or ???

[okie-dokie]

Would you people stop, I can't laugh and drink my morning coffee at the same time.

[Tom Cook]

If a car stops at a filling station and
a train stops at a train station.
What happens at a work station?

Is it paranoia of they really are out to get you?