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nineoaks2004 · 12-19-2017, 02:27 PM

10 Police comments take from around the country.

1: Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they are new they will relax after used awhile

2: If you take your hands off the car, I will make your Birth Certificate a worthless document

3: If you run, you will only go to jail tired

4: Can you run faster that 1200 FPS Because that is the speed of the bullet chasing you

5: You don't know how fast you were running. I guess I can put anything on the ticket that I want.

6: The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

7: Yeah we have a quota, only 2 more tickets and my wife gets a toaster

8: How big were those just 2 beers you say you drank?

9: No sir we do not have quotas any more, now we are allowed to write as many tickets as we can

10: You didn't think we gave pretty women a ticket, you are right we don't just sign here

Ray,IN · 12-22-2017, 09:30 PM

I have a retired state policeman who will get a kick out of those. He is a real jokester. One time he was listening to the CB radio in his cruiser when he heard a woman ask for a smokey report for I 74 to Indianapolis. He knew from the signal strength she had to be very close. As he entered the on-ramp he saw a car with a CB antenna whiz by. He caught up and followed; next time she asked for a report he answered, saying"Yep one following you. The woman looked in her mirror and nearly ran off the highway when he turned on the lights. When he approached her door she was shaking so badly, he just gave her a verbal warning.

wa8yxm · 12-23-2017, 06:33 AM

My favorite was told by a town's Chief of police. NOTE I've seen this same story 2 or 3 different ways from the police officers involved but this is the best one.

Stopped a guy for speeding Driver claimed to be a good friend of the Chief of police. (But did not know how to pronounce his name). Well the "officer" wrote out the ticket and as he was handing the paperwork back to the Driver the Driver ask "Do you even KNOW the Chief".. The Chief responded "Well sort of.... I sleep with his wife".

In another case one of "my" troopers had somneone clame to be a real good friend of one of the troopers at the post even had an old beat up business card from said trooper You guessed itm He forgot to read the trooper's name tag Same trooper.

doc · 12-23-2017, 10:14 AM

I was on the job for 27 years in a university town where the students are an important part of the local economy. Some of you know how beautiful Southern women are. So this young lady gets pulled over and really doesn't want a ticket and is sort flirting with the officer. "you know officer, I heard you traffic guys don't give tickets to pretty girls". "yes ma'm you are right - would please sign her at the bottom?"