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Old 10-06-2020, 10:43 AM   #1
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Recipe for a perfect marriage!

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
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2002 Monaco Windsor 40PBT, 2013 Honda CRV AWD
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Old 10-06-2020, 10:46 AM   #2
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I just walk behind Her ...... nodding my head at anything She says.....
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....Whether our shack is moving or parked.. We are still home.
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Old 10-06-2020, 12:07 PM   #3
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Wish I copy those!.......lol
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Old 10-07-2020, 04:28 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by MSHappyCampers View Post
. . . And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
And he looked like he really meant it too!

Mike
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Old 10-08-2020, 09:30 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Moustache View Post
And he looked like he really meant it too!



Mike


Iím pretty sure he did mean it. You just donít get that these days anymore. I almost got to see one of his performances live but the timing just didnít work out. I always regret not being able to see him live. He was one of the good ones.
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