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Old 11-20-2020, 06:33 PM   #1
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Scared Straight

Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude, and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive; those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.
Jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music... anything he could think of. Nothing worked.
Then he yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming. But then suddenly, there was absolute quiet.
Jimmy was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird so he quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm very sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior."
Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "By the way, may I ask what the chicken did?"
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Old 11-20-2020, 06:59 PM   #2
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Old 11-21-2020, 09:19 AM   #3
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Old 11-21-2020, 09:32 AM   #4
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Love it.
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Old 11-22-2020, 07:36 PM   #5
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There's a true story about a woman who had two parrots. They were usually kept apart to keep the trash talking down. The one was allowed in the kitchen one day while the woman baked a whole chicken. Halfway through she opened the oven and pulled out the bird to baste it. The parrot immediately said the name of the parrot in the other room and then started cackling wildly at his own joke!
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