Community Forums

Ccrider65 · 06-05-2019, 05:29 AM

I worked 30 years in a plastics factory, factories are always great places for humor. Had one co worker that was a few crayons short of a box. But he was good natured and took a lot of kidding. One day employees were painting new yellow lines on the parking lot, as a prank they used yellow tape to add a stripe across the top of his car bumper to bumper lol. A bunch of us was in the break room when he noticed it and stormed into the room furiously and announced " OK! THE VICTIM IS IN THIS ROOM!" LOL

NITEHAWK · 06-05-2019, 05:53 AM

A reporter asked a 98 year old man if he had lived here all his life.
Old man replied:"Not yet."

okmunky · 06-05-2019, 09:39 PM

I had a summer job when I was 18 as a dental assistant. One guy ended up with a lot of dental plastic all over his clothes from a denture procedure. I removed his bib, picked up the air spray nozzle and innocently asked him, ”would you like a blow job?" As soon as the words were out of my mouth I realized what I had said instead of "would you like me to blow the trash off?" I turned about 12 shades of crimson and headed to the ladies room and locked the door. I heard the dentist laugh a few moments later so I know the patient told him what I said.

It took about 20 minutes for me to work up the courage to come out of hiding and thankfully that patient had left the office. After that if I saw his name on the appointment book I traded patients with the other assistant or called in sick. I never could face him.

EdInArk · 06-06-2019, 03:36 AM

I used to work at an insulation company that blew loose insulation into attics and something similar happened there. One of our salesmen came into the office one day and asked the secretary what we were charging for a "six-inch blow job." She just sat there and stared at him until he went away.

garry1p · 06-10-2019, 07:11 PM

Several years ago at a K-Mart the overheard speaker system comes on and the announcement.

"For your convenience we will be closing in 15 minuets".

TQ60 · 06-10-2019, 08:16 PM

Worked with a tech from the south for 30 years or so.
Sharp tech but different style.

Would yell him we would need to talk slow as he did not listen too fast...

NITEHAWK · 06-11-2019, 07:31 AM

Years ago when we lived on the east side of Canton, Ohio I heard a TV reporter refer to someone's "female daughter".
My reaction was:"HUH??"
Portent of things to come??

Dmitche4 · 06-11-2019, 08:47 AM

Back when Telemarketers would call selling magazines, I would ask them how many pictures they had because my wife and I were illiterate

Usually it earned me a cuff off the back of the head by my wife.

MSHappyCampers · 06-11-2019, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dmitche4

Back when Telemarketers would call selling magazines, I would ask them how many pictures they had because my wife and I were illiterate

Usually it earned me a cuff off the back of the head by my wife.

Hi ! Welcome to IRV2! We're sure glad you joined the gang!

Noticed that you are kinda new on IRV2 and wanted to say hello!

I bet the back of your head stays sore all the time!

Good luck, happy trails, and God bless!

BigEvi · 06-22-2019, 01:53 PM

Back when I used to skydive, from a farmer passing by a few of us that had just landed in his field by mistake, "what happens when ya bump into a cloud?"

I sometimes would travel by airline to skydiving events, with my parachute on my back in my airline seat sometimes from my seat mate I would get, "what's that?" My response, "why, it's a parachute...didnt you get yours?" So my stupid question.

Another of my favorite stupid questions...when getting directions in a rural area..."ya see now...ya go down this here road past the Miller's barn. Come to a stop where yas can see down the road theres a bridge...dont turn there. Keep on a going till yas come up on a red light across from Joe Bob's sheep farm, theres where ya go." My reply..."what if I come to a green light?

I guess I'm an ahole.

-E

HDGoose · 06-24-2019, 12:49 PM

I had just parked my motorcycle. A blonde floats over to me and asks if I was from LA. I asked how she knew I was from LA. She pointed at my license plate, that said LA, because it is issued by Louisiana.

I told he I was was from Lower Alabama. She looked puzzled and left. This was summertime and it was mostly a college soriety party at that hotel.

HDGoose · 06-24-2019, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TQ60

They do that to prove their place...

Years ago a local lumber mill paid employees with 2 dollar bills.

Reason was that everyone would notice when they touched one and as such it was money in the economy from single place.

Long gone now...

I got some two dollar bills in change one day. I later went to eat and handed the two dollars bills to the server on top of the stack. She came back with her manager who called the police, and they were going to detain me for counterfeit bills. I asked if I could at least finish my drink while we waited. The young cop that showed up looked puzzled, and takes the bills to his SGT who had just arrived. The SGT came up laughing, apologized and told the manager that those bills were real. The manager said he wouldn take them. The SGT said you've already detained a man and accused him of a crime he didn't commit. My party left after a free meal and drinks! Apparently the SGT was very embarrassed in his small town.

The bar nextdoor didn't have an issue taking the two dollar bills!

TQ60 · 06-24-2019, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HDGoose

I got some two dollar bills in change one day. I later went to eat and handed the two dollars bills to the server on top of the stack. She came back with her manager who called the police, and they were going to detain me for counterfeit bills. I asked if I could at least finish my drink while we waited. The young cop that showed up looked puzzled, and takes the bills to his SGT who had just arrived. The SGT came up laughing, apologized and told the manager that those bills were real. The manager said he wouldn take them. The SGT said you've already detained a man and accused him of a crime he didn't commit. My party left after a free meal and drinks! Apparently the SGT was very embarrassed in his small town.

The bar nextdoor didn't have an issue taking the two dollar bills!

Notation on bill states good for a debts...

Curtis in TX · 06-25-2019, 08:30 AM

I'm a retired Power Lineman and in my Career I have had all kinds of duties. The ones I hated the most was cutting off "Non Pays" at the pole. This means they have not paid their electric bill for 6 months and owe a LOT of $money. So I get the work order to turn them off at the pole, so they can't turn them selves back on. (Mainly because they have turned themselves back on at the meter before, and are on the Bad Customer List.)

One day I was on a pole and just dropped the house service on the ground that fed a home that owed almost $4,000 in back bills. (Many promises to pay, but didn't, so I'm sent there.)

Customer comes out and sayd "Did you just turn my light off? And WHY?"
I paid that bill yesterday!

Obviously he knows why, because he's standing straddle to the now dead power line laying in his yard.

I say show me your reciept! There was never one produced!

He knows I know he didn't pay, because always I checked with the Accountant he would have had to deal with right before I climbed the pole to put him in the dark.

I always hated that part of my job, because there was always a sob story. Most were lies!