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08-03-2017, 12:09 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Appalachian Campers
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Dixie !! (north Georgia) USA
Posts: 4,114
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The coming eclipse
I am not responsible for this, but find it somewhat humorous. This comes from a local sheriff's department here in N Georgia and we are pretty close to where the eclipse path will track:
Sheriff Scott Berry announces that on Monday, August 21, at about the time your kids are riding home from school on the bus that there will be a solar eclipse of the sun as celestial forces no one understands will blot out the sun. It is very likely this is the end of life on this planet as we know it.
As your Sheriff I expect each of you to begin panicking today. There is no need to wait til Sunday night to buy bread and milk. The shelves will be empty already as vast hoards descend on grocery stores. If you wait, the only thing left will be potted meat and knock off brand cereal with such names as "RaisinO's" and "CheeriBran"
Don't look at the eclipse, unless of course you live in the backwoods of Tennessee. In that case no one will hear you scream as you stumble blindly into a moonshine still or a bear trap. Millions of Americans are blinded every week by staring directly into the sun, eclipse or not. Don't do it.
Your sunglasses will not protect you from certain death if you look at the sun. However, for a mere $29.99 (plus $9.00 shipping and handling) you can order "stare directly at the sun wearing these" glasses from NASA and the Home Shopping Network.
Pregnant women should smoke and drink liquor during the eclipse. This will prevent radioactive waves from making your ankles swell and being grouchy most of the time. Meanwhile, your other children will be on the school bus wondering why it got dark so early. An afternoon snack of potted meat will encourage then to ignore the end of the world as we know it.
Leading scientists tell us that post eclipse the only two things they expect to survive are cockroaches and Facebook. Wait, is that one thing or two things????
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08-03-2017, 01:07 PM
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#2
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Senior Member/RVM #90
Monaco Owners Club
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Columbus, MS
Posts: 54,794
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__________________
Joe & Annette
Sometimes I sits and thinks, sometimes I just sits.....
2002 Monaco Windsor 40PBT, 2013 Honda CRV AWD
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08-04-2017, 08:30 AM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Pensacola, FL
Posts: 121
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That is where we are heading to watch the eclipse. Thanks for the warning and we will stock up on groceries, water, batteries and sunscreen to put on before it gets dark.
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08-06-2017, 01:57 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Fleetwood Owners Club iRV2 No Limits Club
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 102
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Ah gotta git a Finc around ma stil
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08-06-2017, 02:06 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Workhorse Chassis Owner
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 904
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FAKE NEWS! Eclipse is caused by flat earth flipping. Happens every so often. Last time it occurred was when _____(fill in the blank).
__________________
Jim & Shirley & Abbie (Scottish Terrier)
2013 Newmar Canyon Star 3911, 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan - Braun Accessibility Modified Toad, Remco Lube Pump, 5 Star Tune, Progressive Industries EMS-HW50C, Coach Net Emergency Road Service, FMCA 378968
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08-06-2017, 07:40 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 795
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So wait, the earth isn't round?!?!?!?!?🤔
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08-06-2017, 07:56 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Foretravel Owners Club
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Home is Where WE PARK IT...
Posts: 6,059
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Time to stock up on the Top Ramen, more Ammo & Adult beverages......Also don't forget there is no such thing as too much ammo! Zombies !
__________________
Retired truckdriver,
'02 Foretravel... "This Shack will do"
being pushed by an '06 Scion xB
SKP's of Box Elder, South Dakota
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08-06-2017, 08:07 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Monaco Owners Club Thor Owners Club
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 761
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oh my oh my....
__________________
Thor ACE 2013 29.2
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08-06-2017, 09:13 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North America somewhere
Posts: 30,982
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That sounds like my old Army buddy who lives in Ellijay. He must've built a new still since I visited.
__________________
2000 Winnebago Ultimate Freedom USQ40JD , ISC 8.3 Cummins 350, Spartan MM Chassis. USA IN 1SG 11B5MX,Infantry retired;Good Sam Life member,FMCA. " My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. John F. Kennedy
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