The drunk driver
The sheriff of a small Texas community knew a local tavern was good for a few drunk driving tickets every Friday night.
One Friday night at closing time, a man wobbled out of the tavern, finally got the key in the door of his old pickup and climbed into the cab. He started the engine and drove away, swerving to avoid other cars and road signs. The sheriff followed him for about 5 miles before stopping him. He noted the man was acting like he was drunk, so asked him to take a sobriety test, which the man passed easily.
The sheriff inquired what was going on, to which the man replied,
"I'm the designated drunk decoy".
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