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02-01-2025, 04:44 AM
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#911
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2024
Posts: 387
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasJeff
Meanwhile, on the way back to the North Pole....
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How it became a tradition to put an angel on top of the Christmas tree:
One year everything was going wrong at the North Pole. Someone had left the glue out overnight and it had frozen and wasn't any good any more; cattle fever was raging through the reindeer stable; the elves were staging a work slowdown and muttering about forming a union and going on strike; Mrs. Claus had menopause; Santa was pulling out head hair and beard in great chunks; and right at the height of it all the Littlest Angel came in dragging the Christmas tree and said "Santa, where to you want me to put this?"
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02-01-2025, 04:45 AM
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#912
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2024
Posts: 387
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasJeff
I said something way back when...
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I love it !!
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02-01-2025, 08:47 AM
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#913
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Senior Member
Texas Boomers Club Forest River Owners Club Ford Super Duty Owner RV Trip Wizard
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Heart of Texas
Posts: 7,524
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parafango
when you mix up idioms you get a malaphor. for example.
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We'll burn that bridge when we get to it.
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The story of my life... 
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02-01-2025, 09:09 AM
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#914
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Senior Member
Texas Boomers Club Forest River Owners Club Ford Super Duty Owner RV Trip Wizard
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Heart of Texas
Posts: 7,524
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Always good advice to follow.
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02-01-2025, 10:16 AM
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#915
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2022
Location: SW Idaho
Posts: 1,180
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on a tee shirt I saw at Walmart.
I'm a Carpenter
I can't fix stupid
but I can fix what stupid does...
(and bill you for it)
This was in the bar...
Beer Special!!
Buy one beer for the price of two and get the second beer absolutely free!!
How do I make my phone smarter?
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02-01-2025, 08:27 PM
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#916
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Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2023
Posts: 20
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Welcome back Parafango!
You have been missed......................since there are no entrance/exit wounds 
__________________
2017 Arctic Fox 992 Truck Camper, 2005 Ford F350 Lariat Crew Cab w/manual transmission. River Wild Drift Boat, Stillwater Fly Fisher.
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02-02-2025, 07:49 AM
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#917
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2024
Posts: 387
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Seen in a crowd at a McDonalds counter near the Riverwalk in New Orleans a month after Katrina: FEMA
Fix Everything My Ass
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02-02-2025, 11:42 AM
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#918
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Grapevine, Tx
Posts: 5,737
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Urbanhermit
Do you know how long it takes a divorced male to master a supermarket, and then they rearrange everything? That homicide justification.
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What?
__________________
2004 Fleetwood Southwind 32VS W20 - SOLD!
ReadyBrute Elite towing a 2017 Ford Edge Sport
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02-02-2025, 04:42 PM
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#919
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2022
Location: SW Idaho
Posts: 1,180
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Walmart is the source of never ending entertainment.
If it's not the wacky clothing like pajamas and slippers at 2:30 in the afternoon or odd behavior like giving the kid in the cart a box of animal crackers to keep them quiet and then putting the empty box somewhere else in the store, or hiding a box of ice cream bars up behind a row of cereal boxes, it's the crazy T shirts...
this was a good one.. and there we others today
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts missing."
"Runs with scissors"
"When I said How stupid can you be? It wasn't a challenge"
Keep looking, you'll see others on your next visit to Walmart. 
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02-02-2025, 08:29 PM
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#920
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2022
Location: Whitney, TX
Posts: 2,023
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parafango
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts missing."
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I got that t-shirt from my kids on my 70th birthday.
__________________
US Navy 1972 - 1992 - SCPO Retired
Sometimes I wonder what happened to folks after I give them directions.
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02-03-2025, 07:49 AM
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#921
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2024
Posts: 387
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Redneck's last words: "WATCH THIS ! "
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02-03-2025, 11:13 AM
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#922
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2022
Location: SW Idaho
Posts: 1,180
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some of these are classics..
**The early bird might get the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.
**about Children: You spend the first two years of their life teaching
them how to walk and talk. The next sixteen? Spent telling them
to sit down and shut up.
** I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted
paychecks.
** We live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than
the police.
** How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire..
** A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for
me at kick boxing.
** Accidents cause people
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02-03-2025, 01:55 PM
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#923
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,232
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Urbanhermit
Redneck's last words: "WATCH THIS ! "
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__________________
Al  SE Michigan, F-150 Plat SCrew, Flagstaff 26FKWS, ProPride
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
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02-04-2025, 07:02 AM
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#924
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Port Orchard, WA
Posts: 4,239
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The Early Bird gets the worm, but the 2nd rat gets the cheese!
__________________
Scot & Laura Kellersberger, U.S. Army (ret)
Newmar 4 wheel drive Dutch Star 3891, SOLD
Now RV'ing on the water in a Trawler!
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