Town drunk meets the high end antique buyer

[Electra 225]

I apologize in advance if I'm repeating a joke heard many times here.........?

A man purchases a very rare, old, large, and in mint condition, not to mention expensive antique clock.
Just as he's leaving the antique dealer's store, laboring with the large clock in his arms......walking blind he collides on the sidewalk with the town drunk, drops the clock and it breaks into a thousand pieces.....
The man is furious and yells at the drunk.....why don't you watch where you're going you fool!!!!!?

The drunk replies, well why don't you wear a wrist watch like everyone else!

[peggwn]

This story is best told with very strong Irish accents.

Back in the days of "The Troubles" in Ireland, after a longish night at the pub a fella was making his way home down a darkened street. Suddenly he felt what he thought might be a gun in his back. A voice behind him said, "Stick 'em up!" The voice then asked, "What are ya?" Not knowing what neighborhood he was in, the fella realized at the very least he could lose all of what money he had left in his pockets, or even his life might depend on his answer. Thinking to himself: If I say I'm Catholic, he might be a Protestant and I'd be in trouble. But if I say I'm Protestant, I would be in just as big a trouble. After some deliberation he then replies with what he thinks would be a safe answer, "I'm Jewish." With some glee the voice behind him exclaims, "The saints be praised, I must be the luckiest Arab in all of Ireland!"