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**CLIFFTALL** · 01-31-2012, 04:02 PM

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola,
whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year
Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.

Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through
their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the
priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.

Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally
acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a wee cut above
Timothy Murphy in all respects.

Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally
Cardinal was swift to say the least, and the Catholic world knew
that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who
would become the next Pope.

In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work.
In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the
chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.

The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn
that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!

Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated, because even
with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was just a bit better qualified.

With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private
session with them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?"

After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man
and rose to reply.

"We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought
of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called POPE SE-COLA!

wa8yxm · 01-31-2012, 06:41 PM

Good joke, Seen it before, However you know that when elevated to Pope, the new Pope chooses a NEW name so he'd not be called Pope Secola.

I also like the "One eyed, One Armed, Flying Purple Paple Leader" joke.

Dunner · 01-31-2012, 08:59 PM

Takes lot to make me chuckle. That did.

wa8yxm · 02-01-2012, 08:38 AM

Well Let's see if I can find the purple paple leader one... Google found it, of all places, on SNOOPS.com. Of course Snoops won't let me cut and paste but... There are other ways to get that job done (very evil grin)

I received an e-mail detailing a story about a man named Hans Grapje
who had aspired to be a preist and bishop in the catholic church. I
relayed the joke to a friend of mind and he wanted to know if it was
true. I was curious as well so I thought that I would contact you seeing
that you have had some sucess in de-bunking some stories. I will add the
joke on to the end of this queary and am confident that you will find out
the truth.
Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a young
man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during
WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down
in 1943 and he lost his left arm. Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as
a chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy.
After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting
his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent. In
1997, Father Grapje was serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion in a silver
mine caused a cave-in. Archbishop Grapje went down into the mine to
administer last rights to those too severely injured to move. Another shaft
collapsed, and he was buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries,
including the loss of his right eye. The high silver content in the mine's air
gave him purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin
blotches.
Although Cardinal Grapje devoted his life to the service of God as a scholar,
mentor, and holy man, church leaders agree: he will never ascend to the
Papacy. No one wants a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader.

slickest1 · 02-01-2012, 03:31 PM

Pope-secola was funny and the papel leader had me on the floor. Thanks for that!

bsinmich · 02-01-2012, 05:04 PM

After those 2 I have to ask if you know what they call an electric blanket in the Vatican.

A Papal People Heater.

wa8yxm · 02-01-2012, 05:16 PM

I have always felt that one should be able to make fun of one's own religion... I should add I'm Catholic, so I love this thread.... As many of you may now The Church has come out with a new translation.. Recently I attended a seminar on the new language of the Mass, I have to say I agree with most of the changes... Not sure I like them, but I do agree with them..

But then we have the following LINK>

Christmas Cookie Recipe (New, Corrected Translation) | Fr. Z's Blog

If you click on it... and epically if you are Catholic and click on it, PREPARE TO LAUGH!