What's your best dad joke?

[Starship3858]

Three strings walk into a bar and sit at a table. First one walks up to the bar and orders a round for him and his buddies. "We don't serve strings here!" ,replied the bartender. Defeated, he returns to the table empty-handed. The second string puts on a hat, walks up to the bar and orders a round for him and his buddies. The bartender looks him up and down, "Your one of those strings, just wearing a hat. Nice try, but we don't serve strings here!" Defeated, he returns to the table empty-handed. The three almost leave until the third string says to the others, "I have an idea." He messes his hair up and ties himself in a knot and goes up to the bar. The bartender sees him coming and stops him from ordering. "Hey! I said no strings here! You're one of those strings aren't you? The string took a deep breath and replied, "No sir, I'm a frayed knot."

[dizcom]

I knew a guy who was carrying a load of dynamite under his left arm when it went off. He's all right now.

[edge68474]

Originally Posted by Starship3858

Three strings walk into a bar and sit at a table. First one walks up to the bar and orders a round for him and his buddies. "We don't serve strings here!" ,replied the bartender. Defeated, he returns to the table empty-handed. The second string puts on a hat, walks up to the bar and orders a round for him and his buddies. The bartender looks him up and down, "Your one of those strings, just wearing a hat. Nice try, but we don't serve strings here!" Defeated, he returns to the table empty-handed. The three almost leave until the third string says to the others, "I have an idea." He messes his hair up and ties himself in a knot and goes up to the bar. The bartender sees him coming and stops him from ordering. "Hey! I said no strings here! You're one of those strings aren't you? The string took a deep breath and replied, "No sir, I'm a frayed knot."

That's a good one.

[n2zon]

When the kids were young, we were about to cross a bridge, and they saw a sign reading "Escort waiting area." They asked what it was for, and I had a sudden inspiration. I told them, "Ford used to make a car that was *so* ugly, it's still not allowed to cross a bridge in daylight. If you have one, you have to park there and wait for dark...."

There was dead silence in the coach for a few minutes, if you don't count my wife's laughter.

(For a few years I often got them as corporate rentals when they had nothing else. I can't even look at one without shuddering. What an awful car!)

[Daveinet]

I tried Chicken farming once, but I was not particularly successful. Not sure if I just planted them too deep or what.

[Wayne M]

Don't spell part backwards, it's a trap.

[Daveinet]

Originally Posted by scenic route

If a man says something and his wife doesn't hear it, is he still wrong?

Yes, love that.


My wife is always telling me a never listen to her, or something like that...

[PLDieter]

Q: How did the punk rocker cross the road?
A: Stapled to a chicken!

[appsptspcl]

"Who was that Ladle I saw you with last night?"

"That was no Ladle, that was my knife!"

[glenthompson]

Why did the possum cross the road? Don’t know, none of them have ever made it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done.

[vincebodie]

Why did the man fall down the well?





He couldn't see that well.

[vincebodie]

I'm thinking of a new career cleaning mirrors...





It's something I could really see myself doing.

[richpatty]

At the circus, there’s a terrible accident and two lions escape from their cages backstage. One of the lions attacks the circus clown and begins devouring him. The lion stops, looks at the other lion, and says, “Here, taste this. Does it taste funny to you?”

[richpatty]

Here's an extra:

My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus. Not only was I shocked, but I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed!