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dennis45 · 02-15-2017, 12:02 PM

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up Then he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad."

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and
read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I
knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos,
tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live
nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday
I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Love,
Your son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I Just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a "report
card" that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

MSHappyCampers · 02-15-2017, 02:28 PM

Old-Biscuit · 02-15-2017, 02:55 PM

OK..........

That one made me chuckle.

Brought back memories of handing report card over to DAD.
Things like that were done at the Dinner Table....worst meals ever!

wa8yxm · 02-15-2017, 02:59 PM

That letter looked more like an "I hope EMS gets there on time".

(Actually that is not as big a joke as you might think.. I had to call a Husband once to tell him his wife would be at the hospital.....Coffee shop.... (She was not injured but the coffee shop was only about 100 yards from the crash site, nearest indoor seating and with security to insure she stayed all right. ) I explained that if she'd hve been hurt I'd not be calling.. Finally I finished the "Come and get them" calls, and then called him back to make sure he was still OK.

Bigd9 · 02-15-2017, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Old-Biscuit

OK..........

That one made me chuckle.

Brought back memories of handing report card over to DAD.
Things like that were done at the Dinner Table....worst meals ever!

This was exactly how we all had to show ours. Three sisters and two brothers all with our report cards on the table handing them to Dad one at a time. As you said, "Worst meals ever!"