Community Forums

PizzaGuy · 12-07-2011, 07:47 PM

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?'
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends
-- if
they're okay, then it's you.

Ramblin · 12-07-2011, 07:51 PM

Why do we park on driveways, and drive on parkways?

BCooke · 12-08-2011, 01:15 PM

Rambling. During rush hour it is actually reversed. I can drive faster in my drive way....

wa8yxm · 12-08-2011, 03:34 PM

TV show (Vintage) McMillan and Wife.. Commissioner McMillan and his aid are enroute to some Boys Shelter or orphanage or club of some sort and he asks his driver: "How much longer till we get there?".

Driver says something like "At this rate, about 2 hours."

McMillan then asks: "How long if we get out and walk?"

Driver: "About 5 minutes, it's in the next block"

LVJ58 · 12-08-2011, 03:48 PM

I GIVE UP!!!!

WHY

Ray,IN · 12-12-2011, 10:48 PM

That first line reminds me of this:

I remember a story ( about 50 years ago) told by one of the owners of the largest gun store in town. He went on safari in Africa to hunt water buffalo. His guide carried an old muzzle loading rifle because the natives were not allowed to possess modern firearms. . The guide believed the harder he pulled on the trigger the faster the bullet would go.