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Old 06-09-2019, 03:39 PM   #43
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Tell her you'll stop at every Kohl's along the way for at least two hours and you'll hold her purse the entire time. I hope you guys work this one out. You're a step ahead of me cuz I still don't have an RV. Wife came with me to look at an old Dodge Tioga that was for sale for $300. It took me 30 minutes to start the thing, it blew smoke all over a Big Lots parking lot and the owner wasn't even there. I was supposed to leave the $300 with a bartender nearby or send it to someone on Venmo. Still looking for my RV. If I ever get one, maybe you and I can hit the road together and our wives can go to Kohls together. We could prolly leave them at Kohls for 3 weeks and they wouldn't even know we left.
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Old 06-09-2019, 03:39 PM   #44
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Here are my suggestions from the wifeís point of view. 1- I DO enjoy rvíing but it can be a big chore too. If the rv isnít kept completely stocked, bedding, dishware, some canned goods, clothing, basic electronics, umbrellas, grill stuff, toiletries, you get it. This can become a huge amount of work not to mention all the perishables that STILL have to be packed up, hauled in, and put away. THEN, oh joy, you get to unpack it all when you get back, clean it, and put it away. Iím not suggesting you are not pitching in here, but for someone still actively employed, their down time needs to feel DOWN.
2- Is HER chair comfortable? Has she ever said anything about it? Do you ever want to drive a LOT more hours in one day than she does? What about the type of rv Park you stay in? Do you make reservations in advance or does she have to franticly search on the cell phone at the last minute while you drive, as all the places are closing for the day? ( I really hate that one).
3- Do you ďeat outĒ much so sheís not always expected to cook? Thatís what a vacation is for many women, no cooking or cleaning. I realize cooking IS part of rvíing, Iím just asking what might make her happier.
4- activities, this was a big one mentioned by other posters and a very good one indeed. My husband always asks, offers and FOLLOWS THRU on including activities that he knows I love. He will even take a much needed nap in a giant mall parking lot if I feel like shopping, getting a manicure or having hair washed by someone else! What a guy!
Iíll bet if you think hard, you can remember some things she MIGHT have mentioned a time or two about rvíing. Either the getting ready, the drive, or the accommodations that can set you in the right direction on how to better approach this. The best way is to open a calm dialogue with her about it now that you have some input. Whatever you say you will do- FOLLOW THRU. Make it happen for both of you. We are happily married 30 years, and have rvíd with and without children most of them and still do. Good luck.
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Old 06-09-2019, 03:40 PM   #45
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We could trade spouses. Seriously, my husband has the same issue as your wife... and after many many MANY discussions, it comes down to length of the trip. He doesn’t care where it is, what we are doing, or who is there - Three weeks TOPS is his limit. And that is too little time (and too much expense) for me to consider investing in an RV. So...
we haven’t bought an RV. Once a year we go on one long (by his standards) trip of 5-6 weeks, via car, hotel, and rental houses, and 3 or 4 times a year we rent an RV, have it delivered to park(s) we know and enjoy and stay for a week or two. Is it ideal for each of us? No. But we decided our marriage was worth more than any trip - and if (one of us) were lying on our death bed, giving THAT up would be what we would regret the most. It almost came to that too - I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer twice,! Toss in a bunch of rounds of chemo and you’re both pretty grateful to be going anywhere.
Everybody has to decide what their own priority is - doesn’t sound like you are getting ALL you want - but seems a pretty good compromise. Might be time to count those blessings, but maybe not. Just sayin- -
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Old 06-09-2019, 03:43 PM   #46
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Oh man, I can totally relate to what you are going through. I have to practically beg my wife to go to our rallies which are few and far between. She eventually comes along but her heart isnít in it and that hurts me. I thought when we bought our expensive rig that we would travel the country when I retired, which I now am, but that never materialized.! She wants to stay close to home when we camp. I can say that when we have gone to rallies the folks have been fabulous with her I donít get it. Your dilemma is my dilemma. Hope you can work it out. I donít have any answers. Sorry.
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Old 06-09-2019, 03:48 PM   #47
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I need a little advise here. Hopefully sincere rather than jokes. I recently retired and it has always been my dream to travel and explore in the RV. My wife still works part time as a teacher and gets the summers off. It's like pulling teeth to get her to go away on a two or three week trip. We do go on weekend trips during the year, however I want to go on longer trips, like we did when the kids were younger.

What are your thoughts, suggestions, etc.?

Thanks
My wife will not travel to Alaska with me in our RV, she is afraid of heights and driving through the mountains, so Iím planning the trip to drive there, and have her fly there there once Iím there, then she will fly back and me and the dog will drive back, so maybe try some trip we she only goes for half the travel, good luck!
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Old 06-09-2019, 03:57 PM   #48
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Iím very fortunate my wife loves traveling in our coach as much as I do.
Having said that as one poster stated look around your area for FMCA or other RV groups that go out and just have fun together. Our chapter has dinners once a month at different local restaurants and we plan a 3-4 day rv trip to different rv parks also once a month. What I find is that everyone relates to one or two others in the group and a relationship is formed and those that are more hesitant begin to see it with a different set of eyes and now they have some new friends to learn from and enjoy. Good luck
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Old 06-09-2019, 04:04 PM   #49
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You are getting lots of good advice. Since we started traveling in an RV, I have done the trip planning. No particular reason, I enjoy it, my wife is not so big on it. Pretty much all of our trips have been successes for both of us. I like fly fishing, so I start by looking at suitable areas, but not too remote. I will then find something in the area that would appeal to my wife - a quilting show is always a good option. We also talk about what sort of new places she would like to see, and I do my best to incorporate her suggestions. Good luck with it.
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Old 06-09-2019, 04:05 PM   #50
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Does she only tolerate the weekend trips because she is doing all the chores in the RV that she does at home? Would it change her mind if her workload was reduced? We learned to use attended laundromats in Europe when our 2 pillow cases of dirty laundry cost $400 to get back in 2 days. Now we drop off 10 days of dirty laundry before lunch and 3-4 hours later pick it up sorted and bagged for $50 +/-with tip. Can you cook or barbecue, do dishes, etc., to give her a semi-vacation? You seem intent on OR and WA, which will be crowded in summer. What about going the other way, Victoria, Vancouver Island, B.C., etc. ?
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Old 06-09-2019, 04:06 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by rver98 View Post
I need a little advise here. Hopefully sincere rather than jokes. I recently retired and it has always been my dream to travel and explore in the RV. My wife still works part time as a teacher and gets the summers off. It's like pulling teeth to get her to go away on a two or three week trip. We do go on weekend trips during the year, however I want to go on longer trips, like we did when the kids were younger.

What are your thoughts, suggestions, etc.?

Thanks
Not joking but appears the wife doesn't enjoy traveling?! Happy wife, happy life. Maybe you can find a destinations that has interests you both enjoy. Start with shorter & work up to longer trips. Good luck.
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Old 06-09-2019, 04:22 PM   #52
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My First Question is Why?

Why doesnít she want to go?
After you figure that out you maybe able to make progress...
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Old 06-09-2019, 04:25 PM   #53
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WaitYou are not alone. Mine likes the trip when we get on the road, and does not really want it to end. We have only been on two week trips and they have been great, but she is a home body. I am am too, to a degree I guess, but I would like to travel more, but still working. (Both of us) We have worked together almost 40 years! Waiting for retirement to see what really happens.
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Old 06-09-2019, 04:28 PM   #54
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There's as many styles of marriage as there are people, and each is unique. For me, it's as close to a 50/50 arrangement as it is possible to make it. So, from my perspective, her refusing to go is equal to your wanting to go, so some compromise is necessary!

As has been mentioned in earlier posts, it's not a vacation for her if she still has to do all the same things she has to do at home - and she may feel that doing them in the RV is even more unpleasant than at home! So my suggestion is to make sure that it's a vacation for her too by minimizing the work and maximizing the play!
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Old 06-09-2019, 04:31 PM   #55
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Maybe your wife if just tired. She may need time to totally recharge her battery. If that is the case, maybe that will happen and then maybe it will not. Maybe her comfort zone is in the area of familiar surroundings and the thought of getting out and about just does not appeal to her.

If you want to travel, just do it. Take a grand kid at a time on a one-on-one adventure to really get to know each other. Ask the wife to come along if she wants, but plan the trip and let her be a guest also. Plan it as if it is really for the grandkid and you.

Don't let the time pass, remember, the clock is ticking.
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Old 06-09-2019, 04:32 PM   #56
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if your "significant other" wants to stay - just go -- you both get most of what you want except being together


I've found there is nothing worse than someone being a prisoner of what you want.
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