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Old 06-09-2019, 07:01 PM   #85
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Have you talked to her about her resistance to longer trips? What does she want to do with her time off? What is her dream after retirement? Seems to me you might not share the same dream of the RV life after retirement. You've got some hard discussions ahead of you. Good luck!
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Old 06-09-2019, 07:03 PM   #86
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This is a bit different but my husband loves to ride his Harley and I don't AT ALL. I want to go dancing more. We are trialing a deal: For every hour we go dancing I will go on a ride.
A bit different for you but is there some trip she really wants to go on that you are reluctant to do. ALSO we camped with kids for years and I LOVE retired couple camping with no kids - it's the best ever. Ask her to just give it a one week try and pick a place you know she will love.
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Old 06-09-2019, 07:16 PM   #87
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Originally Posted by twogypsies View Post
Let HER plan where to go.

Let HER plan what kind of park she wants to stay in. Perhaps she'd prefer one with full hookups and a clubhouse/pool as opposed to no hookups.

Suggest that you have breakfast at the RV; pack a lunch for siteseeing and go out for dinner.

Does she have a special interest? Perhaps going to a place where she can pursue it.

Of course, HER trip shouldn't be every trip. Alternate picking destinations and parks.

Perhaps she'd enjoy volunteering in Oregon's parks. If she enjoys teaching there are opportunities for working with the kid's programs. Or.... if she wants a break from kids perhaps giving lighthouse tours or being in the Visitor Center would be interesting for her.
Some good ideas! I have the opposite problem. Would love to take a few weeks at a time. Go to national parks, etc. with hubbie. All he sees is work with a TT. 😑
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Old 06-09-2019, 07:19 PM   #88
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Reluctant Traveler

Originally Posted by rver98 View Post
I need a little advise here. Hopefully sincere rather than jokes. I recently retired and it has always been my dream to travel and explore in the RV. My wife still works part time as a teacher and gets the summers off. It's like pulling teeth to get her to go away on a two or three week trip. We do go on weekend trips during the year, however I want to go on longer trips, like we did when the kids Alsowere younger.

What are your thoughts, suggestions, etc.?

If you have an acquaintance female who is a frequent traveler ask for their assistance in convincing your wife of the pleasures of summer traveler . As a retired teacher/RVer Summer is one of the best times to visit distant vacation spots . Also an opportunity to share traveling experiences with grandchildren ! I initiated my wife with no RV exposure with a smaller used RV but with a trip from the Midwest to the West Coast to visit her cousin . The agreement being that if it was totally unsatisfactory we would discard the idea of traveling by RV! Good luck !!
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Old 06-09-2019, 07:41 PM   #89
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We're never too old to try to please our wife and I feel tat we should understand that maybe she won't be around forever to enjoy this lifestyle. My suggestion is to try to arrive at a plan that you both can agree on and go for it. My wife and I had so many plans for the rest of our lives, but sadly, she passed almost 2 years ago, and there are so many things that I wish I had given in to what she wanted to do. So... try to do the fun things, but remember... doing something you both enjoy and agree upon is most important. Just thoroughly discuss it and make a joint decision. Good luck!
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Old 06-09-2019, 08:07 PM   #90
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We have to respect the fact that many people are very comfortable right in their own homes and local communities.
Some only in their homes.
For many reasons.
My wife will leave for most any place with a few minuts notice.
A ride on the side by side to the back 40 or a 6 hr drive to Atlanta for dinner or parts for equipment when needed.
Her sister since childhoood ne er went on a family vacation nor will she travel with her husband.
Even wben he had a office in Europe for 10 years. She stayed home.
I think that I personly suffer at times from a form of Anxiety or of being more cautious maybe.
Even though we travel some 60,000 miles annually.
We both understand that if I dont feel comfortable going to a specific place, City or country We dont go.

There are many forms of Anxiety and most are never Diagnosed.

I say let her be and do what you have to do.

My wife and two daughters travel to Europe and other countries having a great time.
I keep the home front going.
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Old 06-09-2019, 08:16 PM   #91
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Silly boy! The wife does want to go but she is concerned that she will have to be with you 24/7. I had the same fear when my husband and I started traveling. Make a list of what you want to do and see then have your wife make a list also. Compare them. I'm sure you both have some similar interests. My husband wanted to go see the Angel Oak tree in Charleston SC. Who wants to see a tree???? It was amazing!!! I loved it. I wanted to see the horses at Gypsy Rose Ranch in Ocala FL. My husband surprised me by planning Valentine's Day at the Ranch to see horses loved for their hairy legs, bellies and sporting mustaches. I was shocked by the gesture but he loved going and he actually petted a horse. If you want to bring back old times....get creative and put a little romance into your trips such as Savannah or Charleston. If she teaches some history...go to Gettysburg or the Smithsonian. You can be creative. You also don't have to do everything together. I went shopping and he sat on the beach. Don't give up yet!
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Old 06-09-2019, 08:37 PM   #92
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I like 56safariís answer.

Iím in the same boat except my wife IS retired but wonít leave the grandchildren for more than a week. We have a trip planned that is one of her ideas, she calls it the Laura Ingalls Wilder trek. I could really care less and it doesnít go thru what Iíd call beautiful country but Iím smiling and going along hoping for my 2-3 month trip out west.
Wish me luck guys!
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Old 06-09-2019, 08:49 PM   #93
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A little sales trick might do it

When I was in college I spent a summer selling encyclopedias door to door. One of the things the company I worked for taught us in sales training was this: To make the sale solve the problem. In other words find out why they are not buying and offer a remedy. I get the feeling your wife just enjoys being at home. If that's the case trying to entice her with things you think she would like on an extended trip wont work because it's still not "home". So I suggest you find out what she feels she'd be giving up/losing if she went on the road a few weeks with you. Maybe try asking her "What is it you enjoy about being here at home that you couldn't enjoy on the road?" As she reels off her list you offer an attractive solution. This may take some creativity on your part or you might find it only takes a few simple accommodations. Happy trails!
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Old 06-09-2019, 09:21 PM   #94
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Been there

I personally think a lot of these suggestions are really misguided having been there done that. I found myself in exactly the same position your in and I tried wining and dining the wife but every trip was misery. After a trip from Oregon to Alaska which could have been the trip of a lifetime and instead was the trip from hell Iíd had enough. You want a divorce... take her with you.
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Old 06-09-2019, 09:38 PM   #95
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Sit down with your wife and ask her why she does not want to take longer trips. She may have fears she has not shared with you. Perhaps she becomes stressed because of somethings you do, or don't do, on long trips. Can she drive your coach? If not, prehaps she is concerned about something incapacitating you and her being stuck on a lonely highway. Perhaps getting her some coach driving lessons would help.

You have a nice coach but is she happy with it for a long time period. Is the bed comfortable? Does the bathroom setup work for her? Do you take a 'toad'? My wife had an issue that we solved by installing a second fridge for example. Sounds stupid but, what the heck. Now she's happy on long trips away from home. Since I did that we have now been living in our coach for over a year on the road and the end of our trip is not insight yet.

So ask her to be honest and say why she will only take short trips and be prepared to make some changes if you want both of you to be happy. You might find out she does not like to be away from her boyfriend for too long. ;-) Just kidding. I hope.

Just saying she won't go is not fair to you. If she has valid reasons that you can't resolve, trade your coach for a smaller vehicle and take trips without her.
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Old 06-09-2019, 10:01 PM   #96
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WHY doesn't she want to go?
Our first RV was tiny had me sleeping against a wall which made it very difficult to get out of bed for bathroom trips. Our 2nd RV provided tons more room, however the mattress was awful. My husband outweighs me so I rolled downhill until I bumped him. I couldn't sleep. My husband bought a nice, new, firm mattress and I slept like a baby.
I cook some meals, my hubby grills dinner any time I ask.
He makes a special nest to cushion my sewing machine as we travel so I can quilt on the road.
My big German Shepherd travels with us.
He fixed all my hesitations
Whatever is holding your wife back, work to make it better.
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Old 06-09-2019, 10:26 PM   #97
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me too (not the hashtag)

my dw didn't much like going either but... then we tried taking the cats (only have 3) and she has liked it much better since. she stressed the whole time worrying about them. she "almost" likes it now but we have a two-week limit.

i was thinking you might be able to go with another retired gentleman that likes to travel but doesn't, for various reasons; age, money, driving ability, etc.)
maybe a relative or a widower friend. just a thot. 8^)
2006 coachmen mirada, (POS) 36', ford v10, 7.0 mpg, 2 6v house, 1 12v motor. 2006 crv, 3500#, falcon ii towbar, invisibrake. MopZ the wonder dog. 8^)
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Old 06-09-2019, 10:34 PM   #98
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Split the difference. You both deserve to be happy!!!
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