Are You A Thread Killer

[TexasJeff]

Originally Posted by huntnski

That my friend is so true. I hate that at that age they can’t remember to shut the door but can remember your passcode t.hat you told them a year ago!

30+ years ago, my then 4-year-old son came into the kitchen all excited, jumping up and down. This was a couple days after I bought our very first Nintendo game system. "What Jonathan?" "Daddy, daddy... tell me what the TV says." "What do you mean 'what the TV says'?" "The words on the TV! I don't understand it."

I get up from the kitchen table and walk into the living room. I can't remember what our first game was that he was playing. Mario Brothers, or something like that. Anyway, this old fart tries to play, and I usually get killed right off the bat, so I lost interest. And here's my 4yo kid all excited as I read to him how he completed the final level and won the game.

[TexasJeff]

People’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. That means if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

[allenb12]

Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.

[PappaBull]

when you run out of gas DON'T ask your wife to bring back a 6 pack while she is getting the gas

[Electra 225]

Happy birthday to Johnny Cash born on this date in 1932. He said the key to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms.

[TexasJeff]

I have 3 kids and no money. Why I can’t I have no kids and 3 money?

[allenb12]

What is the King of all tools?
The Ruler

[allenb12]

Did you hear about the apprentice painter that was painting a house while wearing two jackets in the summer?
When asked why he was wearing two jackets, he replied " The paint can said for best results use two coats"

[Electra 225]

Originally Posted by allenb12

Did you hear about the apprentice painter that was painting a house while wearing two jackets in the summer?
When asked why he was wearing two jackets, he replied " The paint can said for best results use two coats"

....and he ended up in the hospital while painting the chimney.....he stepped back to admire his work.[emoji2957]

[TexasJeff]

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

[allenb12]

Law of Mechanical Repair. Your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch, and you'll have to pee.

[TexasJeff]

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

[allenb12]

Law of Gravity. Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will
roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

[PappaBull]

Originally Posted by TexasJeff

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

if they screamed will I was sleeping sure