Help make sure we stay married

[Soundchaser]

The wife and I are really struggling. We are going full time in about 4 months. We don’t have our new home yet. And what is worse, we still can’t decide which way to go. We are hoping to draw from your experiences to help us decide.

Him: Would be traveling in an expedition vehicle in the middle of nowhere if she was game. Seriously though, he loves the outdoors, wants to boondocks quite a bit, and would not be happy spending all his time in an RV park. Expects to be on the road quite a bit.

Her: Loves the social part of being in an RV park. The longer the rig the better, cause it will fit more clothes. Is a chef so kitchen space is big deal. Also loves the outdoors, but would not be happy boondocking all the time.

Our dilema? What size RV. We will be living in it full time, so that is a consideration. We are really deciding between 37ft and 45ft, so will be pretty nice in any case. It really comes down to how limited we may be getting into some places with a 45ft rig vs less living space. He is comfortable driving the larger RV.

Any insights appreciated!

[creativepart]

First, tell us what your experience is with previous RVs and how much Boondocking you’ve done in the past? Have you traveled a lot previously? Stayed in RV parks much?

What is your frame of reference here?

[laj]

Get a divorce, and go your own ways. That way you’ll be happy, otherwise ones gonna be miserable🤫

[Toby Dog]

Somebody is going to be unhappy at some point in any relationship. Get the 45 footer and a 4X4 toad for adventures.
Have fun!

[Traxless]

There’s are no definitive answers to the OP situation. It’s all personal preference based on countless values. The solution is lots of reading, visits to RV gatherings, spending time in a variety of RVs, and a good dose of patience.

[l1v3fr33ord1]

Soundchaser-

1) Your wife is going to be giving up more than you are.
2) Therefore, you need to give up more than she does.

Prescription:
Larger RV
More time in RV parks

I have yet to see a marriage that flourishes without the husband and wife making the other's needs more important than his/her own.

[TandW]

Not a boondocker or serious camper by any means but a lot of what I have gathered here kind of sort of makes a long rig a true negative when going out for some serious boondocking. Your first sentence is very telling. When in doubt, don't.

[MtCamper]

Gotta keep Momma happy. Get a motorhome, tow a Jeep, find a park with a Jeep group. Lots of them in Yuma.

[scasteel]

When we get asked about "how big" I always reply with: Go as big as you can afford and go as small as you are comfortable with. You will hear people say "Oh if you go over 35 ft you can't get into the national parks." That may be true but if you are not comfortable in a 35ft you won't be going to the national parks either. Besides there are always parks just outside the NPs that can take larger rigs.

[petrel]

Your RV is on wheels...do both! My wife and I are in a similar situation. We are not full timers, but when we set out to plan a trip, we see to it that there is something for both of us. You've received some very good advice above.

If each of you make the others preferences the priority, nicely rounded adventures can be crafted. We find that a mix of boondocking and glamping suits us fine. Some time boondocking, some time in an RV park. That way we can enjoy the outdoors, but then replenish our stocks, empty the tanks, top off the fw, do some laundry, take a few luxuriously long hot showers, and maybe socialize a bit, before returning to the wilds.

We've also thrown a tent in the toad, and used the MH as sort of mother ship between rough camping adventures. I am the cook in the family, and I decided early on to invest in a nicer outdoor kitchen that was not electricity dependent. That way my kitchen works everywhere, and there are no cooking smells inside (unless I need my gas oven.) An outside refrigerator (dual voltage or dual fuel, both are nice to have) is a great help with this too, as it saves a bunch of trips in and out of the rig.

With regard to which size or type of rig to purchase, that will take some patience. There is no doubt that you can find one that will fit the bill for both of y'alls needs. Be willing to research and travel to find what works. Do not rely solely upon your most convenient dealer.

Some folks say marriage is compromise. I'm not sure I like that choice of word, for it implies that each loses something. I believe marriage is about respecting and embracing each others differences and finding enjoyment in what you both like, not just tolerating it.

[K Charles]

If you think an internet forum is going to help you be happy, you may be in for a shock. My first wife didn't want to stay home and my second would never leave home. I found a good one and have been happy for the last 37 years. Life is easy if your happy.

[MCCOHENS]

Going from no camping to fulltiming in a 40+ footer is a recipe for failure, or at least a high probability of some really bad times that end in a financial loss.
Have you ever driven one? Backed it up into a tight space? Towing a jeep or such is a great idea, but then you have to unhook to back up or have it on a trailer, so the rig is longer and harder to maneuver.
Has your wife stood in the shower and sat on the toilet in an RV? Does she understand the concept of limited hot water when taking a shower?
Rent a smaller RV and spend one night, try driving it on small roads and the highway. You came to the right place for information but I fear a dose of reality is what you really need.

[pasdad1]

My opinion, go for 43 or 45 foot class A. Get bath and a half. This will satisfy both. We are similar to your situation, and it has kept both of us happy for 3 years full time so far.

A big class A can be fitted with lots of solar and lithium batteries if you so choose…. Or just run the awesome diesel generator for the occasional boondocking sessions.

Get a tax axle so your carrying capacity will be more than enough to carry basically anything you want.

Almost forgot….and get the big residential refrigerator! It makes full time life on the road much easier.

[Rhody_Chris]

'HE' might be comfortable driving a larger rig. but do either of you know if you are comfortable Living in an RV for a protracted period of time? I think HE will find that the near daily grind of breakdown/setup to "be on the road quite a bit" will get tiresome rather quickly. JMHO